tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73538550423787918732024-02-19T03:01:28.513-07:00Children are God's giftAJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.comBlogger927125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-44764430283140004382022-10-21T01:01:00.000-06:002022-10-21T01:01:35.642-06:00Life is funny...written in August of 2020<p> I just re-read my last post from 4 years and 2 weeks ago...so much has happened in that time...so many fingerprints of God on our life! It is amazing that all of the things that I said I didn't EVER want to do seem to be what I am finding comfort in now. We moved "home" -sort of- when my husband accepted a the call to pastor a little country church just 30 minutes away from the small town I grew up in....daily interactions with folks from my pre-married life that both stir up emotions in myself and make my kids' heads turn! Since last writing we moved out of my parents house (3 months was a long time that the kids will cherish forever but I'm sure my parents enjoy their peaceful home once again)...we were able to rent a brand new home (again something I would NEVER do -rent & live in a brand new home with little character) from a builder who was expecting his 10th child until our other home sold and then we purchased that home. Funny thing - it never felt like home. But we trusted God had a plan and we followed Him. We lived there until June of last year when all of a sudden through a line of events I don't even know the details in we were presented with this fantastic home in the country with 6 bedrooms and 5 bathrooms that was empty and begging for a family to live in and love it again...AND the church wanted to lease it...AND it was only 6 minutes away from church....AND there are 20 acres surrounding the property for the kids to explore...AND it would get our kiddos out of the large school district they were drowning in and put them into our sweet little school district that our church families are in....we moved...in less than a month...but actually 2 weeks time from when all the papers and details were official! WOW what a whirlwind! </p><p>In the midst of this we had agreed to become part of Safe Families...kind of like foster care but different...and we were matched with a situation of a little baby that was due to be born in July...we would care for the little one for a few months...so we needed to get our home approved for this...kicker is...the night we had our social worker come to update our home study she presented us with a different situation...a little girl that was born the day my other kids' normal world was turned upside down...she is in the NICU..she was 1 lbs 7 oz at birth...she was now at her due date and still needing a little extra loving from the amazing nurses at the NICU...but were we interested? Really? Surrounded by mountains of boxes and things piled everywhere we were going to become parents? Now, Lord, I know that I get overwhelmed pretty easily and I am pretty good at dragging my heals in when You are stretching me out of my comfort zone...BUT, why didn't #7 come when we had a home in order? Why now? I had just started not one but TWO jobs...I would likely be able to keep one but not the other...why now that we live in the middle of no where and we would have a medically fragile baby? Well..God knows best. We decided to say we would like to be considered and let God sort out the details -like we do in all our adoption situations - and guess what? In the Bible the number 7 is the number of perfection...and our little Sweetie is 100% perfect! AND seemingly healthy...she is a little tiny 10 month old now but she is healthy and smashing through milestones! She cut her first tooth last week and is starting to navigate the floor by rolling! </p><p>Well...I'm getting ahead of myself...before this happened we met with her first Mama, she is a beautiful precious soul. The minute I met her I loved her...I cannot explain why, and I definitely would have never guessed we would be there but we are...a week later we met again at the NICU and met our little Sweetie who at that time was 7lbs 12oz. For a month I went down every other day and spent as much time as I could helping to feed and care for her...but she just was not quite ready...finally Handsome and I decided -on the fly- that I needed to spend a night with her...I needed to show them that together little Sweetie and I could tackle night time feedings and she is ready to come home. Well, it worked! Handsome came back to pick up BOTH us girls the next afternoon...</p>AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-24663457125410801502017-01-14T10:32:00.001-07:002017-01-14T10:32:18.879-07:00The WhirlwindSo, life is crazy. I, the Pumpkin Patch daycare lady am now a stay at home (sort of) mom. My hubby who works for our city waste water treatment plant now works for a fish food factory (way more brilliant than it sounds...really! If I could explain it better I would.....he is doing amazing work for an amazing company with an amazing goal!) across the state. Sometimes, life throws a curve ball at you and you have no choice but to ride along.<br />
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However, that doesn't make it easy to swallow. With absolutely no warning at all my husband was released from his job in September. We immediately started Looking Up Handyman Service to help keep funds flowing. He started putting applications in all over in our area. BUT, this one company all the way across the state wanted him. He turned them down, we weren't going to sell our house, loose our amazing dance company, church and friends that we have grown to become a part of over the last 11 years! I wasn't going to give up my daycare that I worked so hard to make the best I could over the last 9 years! But this company came back with another offer, we turned down and a third that we couldn't turn down.<br />
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So here we are....living with my parents...across the state. Praying for our home to sell so we can find a place over here. Kids are starting new schools, we aren't in dance for the first time in 10 years, and I am trying to find my footing. It was very emotional having to tell friends that I was not going to be able to finish the last 9 months of their childs' care before she goes off to school this coming fall after caring for both of their girls from birth. To tell other clients whom have also become sweet friends as they are 7 days from their due date with number 2 that they will now need to work at finding an impossible daycare position for their newborn. :( Or even another friend that now we won't be available for your sweet little newborn or to help while your husband is deployed like we said we would. When you care for someone's child you become a part of their life and they yours....even someone who isn't 'connecty' (not a real word..I get it) cannot help but include you in their lives once you care for their children. I attended so many birthday parties, got to know Grandmas and Grandpas; Aunts and Uncles....learned how the families function and what makes them go. I kissed booboos, changed diapers, saw first steps, did the bouncy walk, and loved these kids. And I had to say goodbye. It just didn't seem fair.<br />
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Now I had the privilege to stay with one of these precious families overnight last month. It was fun to see my little Pumpkin on her home turf and see how she ticks in her comfort zone. Or getting a phone call from a Mama who's daughter just said "why did Miss Ashley have to move all the way to the other side of the world?" It makes me hurt because I love those kids. I lost track of home many children were ever enrolled in Pumpkin Patch Daycare...but I guarantee I remember their faces and their names and they will forever be in my heart. <br />
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But now when I hear a song by Natalie Grant (King of the World) I remember that it isn't MY life I'm living. It is HIS. I had a little fall apart yesterday. Things here aren't all roses, unicorns and rainbows. Moving is tough...having special needs kids worlds' turned upside down is pretty much a suicide mission...BUT, for some reason God decided we needed to move to the other (less pretty) side of the state...so we will try to bloom where He has planted us and I will try to just keep watching my Pumpkins grow up on social media! <br />
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"King of the World"<br />
by Natalie Grant<br />
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I tried to fit you in the walls inside my mind<br />
I try to keep you safely in between the lines<br />
I try to put you in the box that I've designed<br />
I try to pull you down so we are eye to eye<br />
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When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?<br />
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world<br />
How could I make you so small<br />
When you're the one who holds it all<br />
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world<br />
<br />
Just a whisper of your voice can tame the seas<br />
So who am I to try to take the lead<br />
Still I run ahead and think I'm strong enough<br />
When you're the one who made me from the dust<br />
<br />
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?<br />
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world<br />
How could I make you so small<br />
When you're the one who holds it all<br />
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world<br />
<br />
Oh, you set it all in motion<br />
Every Single moment<br />
You brought it all to me<br />
And you're holding on to me<br />
<br />
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?<br />
I try to take live back right out of the hand of the kind of the world<br />
How could I make you so small<br />
When you've the one who holds it all<br />
When did I forget you've always been the king of the world<br />
You will always be the king of the world.AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-68815451726553502242015-12-23T15:15:00.001-07:002015-12-23T15:15:29.074-07:00Our Love Bug...2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Where or where do you start with this crazy goof??? She has been hilarious and always keeps us laughing! She opened up a ton this year! From holding her ears and crying anytime we were in public to actually enojoying it, interacting with others and getting excited for things like church and Christmas Parties! Amazing transformation! She has also grown up the most since last year! Lost her baby pudge on her face and really shot up height wise as well!<br />
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With this girl you are guaranteed two things, a good laugh and a movie script! Her movie of the moment is Home...you know the adorable little creature who spins and says 'my hands are in the air like I just do not care!' That, amoung many other, is one of the lines she quotes from the movie....when she isn't quoting movies (and trying to get you to be the opposite character) she is either singing or quoting her scripture verses. <br />
This year she memorized:<br />
Genesis 1:1,<br />
Proverbs 3:5&6,<br />
Psalm 119:105,<br />
Psalm 119:11,<br />
John 3:16,<br />
Romans 3:23,<br />
Romans 6:23,<br />
Romans 5:8 (her favorite!)<br />
Romans 10: 9&10<br />
Romans 10:13 and<br />
Romans 5:1<br />
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Very impressed with this girl!!! While her body is what gives her the trouble, it surely seems like her mind does very well!<br />
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Some of her favorite songs are We Believe, Down to the River, Flawless, Greater, Hairy Christmas, Jingle Bells and We Wish You a Merry Christmas! <br />
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This year brought some big advances in our Love Bug's care! She was able to (FINALLY) get her push/wheel chair and she was able to get bigger AFO's (leg braces!) She also started announcing things that she likes and does not like....this was huge, we were told she would never be able to show preference for anyone or any thing! The way she loves her Buzz Buzz and Lena is just a tip of the iceburg there! Her Daddy is pretty quick to allow her to purchase almost anything that she says "I LIKE......" It started with her new tennis shoes for school! We were shopping the clearance rack at a local sporting goods store where she found one of the more popular brand of tennis shoes in mint and lilac...I was looking for a better bargain but she very clearly said while tapping me on the shoulder, "I like shoes!" I tried to show her a few other (less expensive) shoes and she kept pointing to her first choice reclaiming "I LIKE SHOES!" Daddy said we couldn't very well deny her very first request!!! ;) Things have gone down hill from there....mostly in treats and the shoe department! ;)<br />
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She loves water, it doesn't matter if it is the tub, our little blow up pool, a puddle or a hike near the waterfall....it would keep her busy for hours! Just the other day she turned down pizza because "I stay in tub a little bit!" Mama ended up bringing grapes, apples and orange slices for her to munch on in there! She loves her water!<br />
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She also seems to really love Christmas. The lights, the music, the Christmas Tree! She is such a joy to have in this family...God knew we needed her to keep things light around here!<br />
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<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-39260759000047410032015-12-22T15:25:00.003-07:002015-12-23T14:07:27.348-07:00Our Cupcake in 2015<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Strong-willed and always looking for a way to help...best way to describe our Cupcake! 2015 really took her from toddler to big girl! Crazy to see how much a year allows them to grow! <br />
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One thing that has almost been a daily topic of conversation is our time on the Disney Cruise last December. To our Cupcake that was almost magic and she has solid, life-long memories from that time! Meeting her favorite Cinderella would be among the top memories from the trip, but also having that time with her Papa and Gweema and getting to play in the sand on Castaway Cay (Disney's private island!) <br />
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She had her second dance recital this Spring and she made a very adorable penguin! She enjoyed being up on that stage so much this time and is already looking forward to getting to be a Banana this year. She thinks it is fun that our Teddy Bear and her are in the same dance class and they will even get to do lyrical with big sister (Princess!) <br />
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For her birthday she had very big ideas about what should happen, things ranging from Papa taking her back on the 'big boat' to having a circus party with real animals...we settled on her and Mama going on a special date to see the release of Disney's live action Cinderella. We dressed up and went down for supper, went to the movie (and got treats) and went shopping for a new Cinderella dress afterward! She was in heaven. We had a family party with the theme of Cinderella, of course!<br />
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She has decided that she needs to help anyone and everyone she can. She likes to help our neighbor, she likes to help with daycare, with the dishes, with laundry, with cooking, with cleaning, with decorating, with Papa's garden....the list goes on and on! We actually have to tell her she needs to stop working and go play! ;)<br />
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This girl still likes her snuggles, she asks for them daily and she always knows when Monday comes around...she gets to sleep with Mama & Daddy on Monday nights to help get those extra snuggles in!!! And when she flashes her double dimple smile how can one do anything but melt? Her Daddy is especially soft when it comes to her dimples! ;)<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Here she is sleeping ON TOP of me!)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With just the right balance of sweet and sass, she started pre-school this year (at home) and was so excited to do so. She was begging to start weeks before she actually did! We had a slow start, she was shy about school, but it didn't take more than a week and she was tackling it like she does everything else! She often begs to do more than one school a day!!! </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Along with all of this responsibility comes a bit of an attitude, which is where her sass comes from. But it has also presented a tricky parenting situation, how does one continue to encourage helpfulness and hard work and yet teach the humility that one needs? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Helvetica Neue, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This girl has a passion for everything she does...and she has a deep love for everyone in her life...but the dating scene came a little quicker than this Mama would have appreciated...she sent a proposal to a young man just last week via text message! ;) She met this boy at a wedding a couple of years ago and he has been in her heart ever since...ask her about her boyfriend some day, she would be happy to tell you about him!!! ;)</span><br />
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Some things the Cupcake wants you to know about her:<br />
Favorite color: Pink<br />
Favorite Book: "Cindy Lou Who"<br />
Favorite Family Activity: Opening presents<br />
Favorite Movie: Cinderella (both old and new!)<br />
Favorite Princess: Cinderella (duh mom!)<br />
Favorite Memory: Meeting Cinderella on the ''big boat"<br />
Favorite Thing about Christmas: Opening gifts and being with Papa and Gweema!<br />
Favorite Thing we Did This Year: visit Papa and Gweema's farm!<br />
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<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-75888136464140786972015-12-22T14:48:00.002-07:002015-12-22T16:36:37.531-07:00Princess 2015 <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our Princess turned 9 years old this year and quickly reminded me that she was half way to adult!!! That makes this Mama feel pretty old, how does one tiny little baby turn into such a big girl so fast? <br />
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She is still a big time dancer! Her competition group took home many awards and medals this year, but they were the most excited about winning the 'gold ticket' and getting an invitation to preform nationally...unfortunately being a large group there was no way to financially afford to get all those kids/families there...but they were thrilled! It is always fun to see her come alive on the dance floor! In her Spring recital she was excited to get to do a Hip Hop, Tap, Jazz, Lyrical and Competition routine! She also gets to help 'assist' in teaching the babes and preschool dance classes! <br />
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She has also grown up so much. She now sports a ladies size 11 foot and is getting scary close to my height! She is finding that in some ways it is fun to grow up, but in many ways it would be nice to not grow so fast! Next size of shoes she will be special ordering dress shoes and moving into mens tennis shoes!<br />
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Summer time brought some relaxation time for her and she was able to spend several weekends at the Grandparents farm. She is getting pretty good at driving the 4-wheeler! She enjoyed splashing around in our little pool, going to Bear Country, and going to Hills Alive; but highest on her list was getting the opportunity to be in the town's children's theater they call the Peanut Butter and Jelly players...she was in 'My Son, Pinocchio." She played a teacher and did so very well! I was so proud seeing my girl up on that stage walking in her Mama's theatrical footsteps!!! ;)<br />
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She is a great helper both to with her siblings and with the daycare. She is becoming a huge blessing around the house, taking and interest is cooking and still being my baby whisperer! One thing she will always line up for is her and Cupcake's Saturday morning muffin making for breakfast! They do enjoy that time and it is one of the only times they are getting along as sisters!!! <br />
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She is currently about half way through her 3rd grade schooling with Bob Jones University curriculum and doing pretty well. She does not love Math, but she does take interest in Heritage Studies and Science. I think her favorite thing about homeschooling is the fact that we are able to adjust her schedule so she gets extra time at dance when other girls her age are in school! ;)<br />
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A few things she wants you to know:<br />
Favorite color: Anything neon!<br />
Favorite book: the Bible<br />
Favorite family activity: Friday Family Movie Night<br />
Favorite movie: Love's Christmas Journey<br />
Favorite Princess: Tiana<br />
Favorite memory: Our Disney Cruise on the Fantasy<br />
Favorite thing about Christmas: Jesus' Birthday & a real Christmas Tree<br />
Favorite thing this year: Hiking by Roughlock FallsAJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-1640898729315402922015-03-10T08:46:00.001-06:002015-03-10T08:46:27.866-06:003 years ago yesterday...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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March 9th 2012, our love bug was just 6 months old...and we were able to go to court and legally adopt her. There was never any question that we would be able to do that, but it is always a wonderful feeling to be able to not have to carry those papers around when traveling, when doctoring, or whatever proving you have the right to make decisions for this child that doesn't have your last name!!</div>
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Fast forward to yesterday...our precious LoveBug is growing and amazing. She has some physical difficulties but her determination to accomplish life far overcomes them. She has figured out a way where there didn't seem to be one! So proud of her. </div>
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I was raised in a home where special days are a big deal...you celebrate....period. Well we have triple the number of children in our family than in my home where I grew up...and most of those children have more than one special day....SO, we do not celebrate as big as I would like for each occasion...but yesterday after work and supper we celebrated with ice cream, the traditional 'Happy Adoption Day' way to celebrate in our home. Every year on March 9, March 30 and August 1 you can find us out for ice cream at some point in the day. This is how we celebrate. </div>
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Our LoveBug was having a good afternoon, so it was very fun to be able to celebrate her yesterday. She talked (she isn't always able to) and carried on in her silly ways. She brings so much joy and laughter into our home and heart.</div>
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This little girl, our Love Bug. We did not know what we were saying 'yes' to when we received the phone call about a little baby girl who needed an adoptive home. This little baby girl whom we knew was being born addicted to cocaine. We had no idea what her life was going to look like or what our role as parents would fully be for her. While there have been trials, there have been struggles (and there are many more to come)...she can make me smile on the darkest of days. She can make you laugh when you want to cry. She has a silly way about her and she enjoys having people laugh. Sometimes I wonder if other peoples laughter is her medicine that helps take her pain away. </div>
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I am so thankful to God that He chose us to be her forever family. He decided we were who she needed for life. I am so thankful for the opportunity to parent her.</div>
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Happy Adoption Day Love Bug!!</div>
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<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-50091578481243920492015-03-03T09:00:00.003-07:002015-03-03T09:00:51.526-07:00As far as the East is from the West....<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Last night my Princess was so excited to share with Handsome and myself after family Bible time that she was able to find the Bible verse of the day (from her Bible class) and read it for the very first time ALL BY HERSELF. She didn't need Mama to show her that rather than chapter 14 verse 8 she needed to be in chapter 12 verse 8....or whatever it is that Mama has needed to help her with this year. She was usually very close to the right place, but just off a few chapters. Well she asked if she could read her verse to us. She proudly went and retreived her Bible from her room, and in just a matter of seconds had found the verse again and began to read:</span><br />
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<i><u>Psalm 103:12</u></i><br />
<i><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-size: 11px; line-height: 14px; text-align: justify;"><span style="color: #0092f2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>"</b></span></span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">As far as the east is from the west, </span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;">so</span><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"> far hath he removed our transgressions from us."</span></i><br />
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<span style="background-color: #fdfeff; color: #001320; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px; text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Well that verse opens up an area for conversation...how did it happen that He removed our transgressions from us? The death of Jesus on the cross takes away our sins if only we put our trust in Him our sins can be made white as snow! PRECIOUS SALVATION! </span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #001320; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: #fdfeff; font-size: 15px; line-height: 21px;">Though I didn't have much of a moment to dwell on this with her last night because I had a lap full of littles....my Handsome was able to talk in pretty great detail about it...but my heart was swelling with excitement and pride for this 8 year old Princess! Even more exciting for me was the fact that SHE, too, WAS EXCITED about finding this verse and reading it all by herself! Now she has been able to read her Bible (mostly) for almost 2 years....but she FOUND THE VERSE!!!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>Here I am Lord and I'm drowning<br />In Your sea of forgetfulness<br />The chains of yesterday surround me<br />I yearn for peace and rest<br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>I don't want to end up<br />Where You found me<br />And it echoes in my mind</i></span><i style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-large;">Keeps me awake tonight</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>I know You've cast my sin as far as<br />The east is from the west<br />And I stand before You now<br />As though I've never sinned</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i>But today I feel like<br />I'm just one mistake away<br />From You leaving me this way</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />Jesus, can You show me just how far<br />The east is from the west?<br />'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been<br />Rising up in me again<br />In the arms of Your mercy I find rest<br />You know just how far<br />The east is from the west<br />From one scarred hand to the other</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />I start the day, the war begins<br />Endless reminding of my sin<br />And time and time again<br />Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in<br />Today I feel like<br />I'm just one mistake away<br />From You leaving me this way</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />Jesus, can You show me just how far<br />The east is from the west?<br />'Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been<br />Come rising up in me again<br />In the arms of Your mercy I find rest<br />'Cause You know just how far<br />The east is from the west<br />From one scarred hand to the other</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />I know You've washed me white<br />Turned my darkness into light<br />I need Your peace to get me through<br />To get me through this night<br />I can't live by what I feel<br />But by the truth Your word reveals<br />And I'm not holding onto You<br />But You're holding onto me, You're holding onto me</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />Jesus, You know just how far<br />The east is from the west<br />I don't have to see the man I've been<br />Come rising up in me again<br />In the arms of Your mercy I find rest<br />'Cause You know just how far<br />The east is from the west<br />From one scarred hand to the other</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />Just how far<br />The east is from the west<br />Just how far<br />From one scarred hand to the other</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><i><br />You know just how far<br />The east is from the west<br />Just how far<br />From one scarred hand to the other</i></span></div>
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Sure gives you something to chew on. The stanza that reads 'I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin and time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in. Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way.' This really hits home for me. Being an adoptive mother of a mentally disabled son (behavioral disorders) brings a storm each and every day....trying to watch him constantly, not allowing him free moments also means that Handsome and myself do not have free moments. And this is just one of our 6 kids....plus we both have jobs. Every day feels like a storm, every day feels like the same mistake, and every day I have to purposefully make the decision to remember God loves me still. He has taken my transgressions and made them as far as the East is from the West...He doesn't hold them against me...He doesn't bring them up again and again. He just gives me a fresh start with each new day. In fact with my own personal devotions this morning the author (Beth Moore) wrote that God never misses a single tear, He sees our suffering and know the depth of our needs. He waits for us to cry out to Him, and when we do we know the One and Only who redeems us. Every moment of every day...He waits for us to pour out our tears if heartbreak and pain before His throne. </div>
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AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-41427700235417673902015-03-02T09:17:00.001-07:002015-03-02T09:17:18.263-07:00Music Speaks<ol style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<li class="first" style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 0px;">Anyone that knows me knows that music speaks to me in ways that many other things simply cannot. It can make me angry, nostalgic, sad, heartbroken, thankful, happy and so many other things in a matter of measures! </li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my head today I have an old hymn...I believe it is there as a way to remind me of the fact that God is in control, and while I may not like much about what is happening in our life right now God is in control.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">"It is well, with my soul"</span></div>
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<li class="first" style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,</span></li>
<li class="first" style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="font-size: large;">When sorrows like sea billows roll;<br />Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,<br />It is well, it is well with my soul.</span><ul style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">
<li class="refrain" style="list-style-type: none; margin-left: 20px; margin-top: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="refrain" style="font-style: italic;">Refrain:</span><br />It is well with my soul,<br />It is well, it is well with my soul.</span></li>
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<li style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;">Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,<br />Let this blest assurance control,<br />That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate,<br />And hath shed His own blood for my soul.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;">My sin—oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!—<br />My sin, not in part but the whole,<br />Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,<br />Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;">For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:<br />If Jordan above me shall roll,<br />No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life<br />Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;">But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,<br />The sky, not the grave, is our goal;<br />Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!<br />Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!</span></li>
<li style="list-style-type: none; margin-top: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;">And Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,<br />The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;<br />The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,<br />Even so, it is well with my soul.</span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The truth of the matter is that whatever it is that we struggle with, we need to cast it all on Him...our sin is already covered on the Cross. We need to confess with our mouth and believe in our heart and live our days to bring Honor and Glory to our Lord, Jesus Christ. Man will fail you every.single.time! With God things will work according to His will in His time...and it isn't Him failing us if things do not play out according to what we think should be. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How easy is it to see 'the writing on the wall' in a situation that you already are leaning that way personally, it is definitely God...you say to yourself. But then given another situation, one that God is pushing you to go against your comfortable way....we fight and wrestle Him....why? Because we are selfish. Because we are not completely sold out to Him. Sure, it is easy to stand and agree with God when His ways are the ways you easily take and believe...but when He requests you to go on the path less traveled, will you? PRAY PRAY PRAY for a hedge of protection around your decision maker....pray for wisdom and guidance and not to be full of yourself and your own ideas, but rather listen for his still small voice. It is always there, we just need to decide to listen!</span></div>
AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-82547008075592768902014-12-22T10:09:00.003-07:002014-12-22T10:09:47.727-07:00Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy Happy New Year by Cupcake!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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So before I tell you Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year - you need to know I GOT TO SEE CINRELLA!!!!!!<br />
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The biggest new this year is we went on this really BIG boat and we packed summer clothes in December and we saw princess', Mickey & Minnie and the gang! It was totally awesome!</div>
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There are some other things I can share too...like my sister (the Princess) thought she would steall my spotlight and the very first day of my very first year of dance class she went and had her tonsils & adenoids out. </div>
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I was so mad all I did was sit in the middle of the classroom floor and NOT dance!!!</div>
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And the next week my big sister CAME to my class to be an assistant to my teacher. I was so mad she was stealing my spotlight all I did was sit in the middle of my classroom floor and NOT dance! Eventually I got over it and learned to do my froggie dance!</div>
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Speaking of sister problems, my little sis was keeping me up at night so right at the beginning of the year Mama and Daddy worked really hard and put me in my own room with a big girl bed and sparkly walls! I love it!!!</div>
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So my mom has this cousin, but he isn't really her cousin - anyway they live in our town and he cheers for MY Vikings...one day he and his wife and their son invited us to go bowling with them. My Mama had us all dressed in Vikings clothes which was really funny because his wife likes the Packers...she was surrounded by Purple & Gold!!! My brother was teasing her a LOT that night!</div>
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We also had to go to this Starpower Dance Competition thing so the Princess could have MORE time in the spotlight. Don't tell her, but I think she nailed it and did a really awesome job! Her team won a bunch of awards that they call 'hardware!'</div>
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In March I turned 3 and Mama took my paci away. She also started talking to me about these things called panties - but you all know things are only done in MY time - so that talk didn't go very far! My Daddy was gone for 75% of this month which was tough on Mama...she was home with 6 kids and her daycare. He even missed my birthday. :( But Mama too Princess, LoveBug and I to the mall to shop, get my ears pierced and get pedis.</div>
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It was okay, but we missed Daddy and Ethan was at school. </div>
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One of the reasons Daddy was gone was because he and LoveBug went with the Shriners up to Minneapolis MN to see doctors at a special hospital. They did all kinds of tests on her and measured her legs to make braces for her to walk better. This confused me...Princess has braces on her teeth so how would braces help LoveBug walk? We had a party for them when they returned home...Mama let us help make cupcakes and decorate because we missed them so much!</div>
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April was really busy...we went to my Aunt and Uncles by Mankato for Easter.</div>
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And then all the was up to Minneapolis for a visit with LoveBug's doctors to get her braces!!!</div>
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She really does well with them.</div>
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The Princess and I also had our dance recital, she danced really well in her 4 dances...I kind of stood on the stage and looked cute.</div>
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April was also the month that Mama and Daddy told us we were going on the big boat with Papa, Gweema, Mickey & Minnie! All of us kids were REALLY REALLY exited about that!</div>
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For Mother's Day we went to Cheyenne Wyoming to see one of Mama's REAL cousins. She and her two adorable girls were there because she is really important and serves our country. Mama and Daddy had to bring special information to be approved to go on base - but we didn't play baseball so I'm confused!!!</div>
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We had fun there until the blizzard! But even in all the snow we went to Perkins for lunch and I noticed that both Mama and her cousin LOVE strawberries. They said it was a Norgaard thing...whatever that means. </div>
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Just a couple weeks later we were 4-wheelin' at Papa's farm and roasting marchmellows for s'mores. It was after the weekend at Papa's that I finally decided this potty thing was okay and I pretty much stayed clean and dry from that weekend out.</div>
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In June our family grew!</div>
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Little Lena came to us so tiny and fun. Daddy and Sunshine also started running 3-4 miles a day and actually think it is fun! And the 'Princess' was crowned LIttle Miss Firecracker.</div>
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It also rained lots in June...so Mama would let us put our swimsuits on and play in the rain!</div>
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July is always my favorite because we go to fireworks, a rodeo, a carnival and a parade (that the Princess was in). We also went to Hills Alive and listened to some amazing music...Mama was most excited about Steven Curtis Chapman! </div>
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Princess and Sunshine also went to VBS and had tons of fun!</div>
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With LoveBug's bouncing birthday party she turned 3 and it was time for my older siblings to start 2nd grade. </div>
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Sunshine likes to ride the bus to school but Princess wears her PJ's and does her school in her room on her computer. (though Mama doesn't like her to stay in her jammies all day and she gets in trouble.)</div>
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On Labor Day we went to the State Fair and ate Alligator! It was good. LoveBug started pre-school 2 days a weeks and Princess turned 8 with a Princess party...that wraps up September.</div>
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Fall is always fun because Mama really likes it so we decorate and have lots of pumpkins - we even got to carve one - and by the way, the insides feel disgusting! I PROMISE! </div>
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October also means dance starts. Princess has class Sunday through Wedesday and Sunshine & I have class on Tuesdays. Our family will be a part of 7 total dances in the next recital! LoveBug decided that she was going to start climbing out of her crib so my Daddy built her an AMAZING security bed...everyone sleeps better now!</div>
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November was pretty boring though I did sweet talk Papa into coming out for Thanksgiving by promising him my Mama would make him pumpkin pie. We were sad to say good-bye but knew we would see them the next week at an airport!!!</div>
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The airplane took us to Florida where we got on the Disney Fantasy Cruise Ship for 7 days!!! </div>
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Princess liked seeing Princess Tiana, Sunshine like the food, LoveBug liked Goofy and playing on the beach and in the ocean at Castaway Cay, Daddy liked his Segway tour of San Juan and the broadway style shows and Mama says her favorite was watching us kids take it all in. None of us wanted to leave but we all missed Bo & Ry (our foster babes who have been with us since November 2013.) Daddys says we will go on another big boat someday because it almost seemed like time stood still for a bit on the big boat - and that was really nice!</div>
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We came back to the busy Christmas time. Christmas programs at school for LoveBug and Ethan, Christmas parties, gifts, baking, shopping and looking at lights. We have to spend Christmas at home this year because Daddy has to work, but I know when he gets home he will tell us about how baby Jesus was born to die on the cross for our sins. That is what is important about Christmas. Then just after Christmas but before the New Year my Sunshine will turn 8! He is really excited about his special day!</div>
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I hope you all had an amazing and happy 2014. God has been good to us and for that we are thankful!!! Merry Christmas and Happy 2015!</div>
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Love, Cupcake </div>
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(for Daddy, Mama, Princess, Sunshine & LoveBug)</div>
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By the way, Princess and I were able to go to JodiBPhotography and take pictures in Mamas wedding dress this Spring too!!! ;)</div>
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AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-7145699146031298392014-09-23T09:15:00.001-06:002014-09-23T09:15:52.924-06:00Season of TrialsWe seem to go through seasons, and our current season is one of trial. The enemy is very real and he is trying to get us to step away from God and lean on ourselves...that doesn't work so well. When it gets to that point, the point where we buy satan's story, that is when things crumble around us. It is no secret that Handsome and I pretty much do things alone. There are not many people that have decided to stick by us...which is fine, but that also means that Handsome and I are everything to each other. Sure, I am blessed to have my mom and dad that support....but they are not here. I chat with mom when I can, but I also don't want to dump everything in her lap every time we talk! So Jason and I tend to hold our 'stuff' in until no more can fit and then we 'dump' it on the other and then the other feels like we are not good enough...right now we are battling the school (again) on behalf of what is best for Sunshine. Along with the fact that our 7 year old is back in diapers full time, has a compulsion to eat anything he THINKS is consumable...and doctors just don't have much advise on how to handle his case other than "you are doing exactly what he needs, good job mom and dad" (which by the way, isn't much comfort). There is no book on "how to handle your drug baby with ODD, bi-polar, encephalopathy, ect..ect..ect.." So we wing it. But God doesn't promise life to be easy. Then you look at Princess, she is about to turn 8, and she is becoming such a beautiful soul. When she is thinking about her actions she thinks of others...she cares for babies...she offers to get drinks and food for Mama and Daddy...she LOVES her brothers and sisters and does a fantastic job of being their big sister. But the effects of the stress in caring for special needs children gets to her, she gets sad...she cries...she feels like she is second best because the others require so much attention and because she doesn't she doesn't always get as much as she should. She is definitely my right hand around here, and I try very hard to not take her for granted. She is AMAZING! Next we look at Cupcake, and well much like her older sister she doesn't have any major needs....but she does like her snuggles, and she needs physical touch more than any kid I have ever known...and some days Mama just cannot sit and snuggle. Some days Mama just doesn't have that spare moment because of the needs around the daycare/house/other kids....and then we act up. But there are nights like last night, this precious Cupcake, this girl who grew inside of me...she needed those snuggles so bad she stayed up until the late night hours waiting to snuggle in my bed, she looked for ways to help so we could get there more quickly, she put out a new potty pad for the dogs, she cleared the dishes from the table, she brought me my water when I didn't have it....until she passed out in her daddy's arms because she just couldn't wait any longer. HEARTBREAKING! But there are medical bills that require paperwork, and paperwork for the school (that we already filled out but here are some of the issues preciously mentioned), seriously...I am only one person. We also have our LoveBug...who is having MANY struggles right now. She started pre-school this fall, just a couple weeks after turning three. She goes two mornings a week to receive her therapy's...but she doesn't like it, and it is turning her into a monster. She comes home exhausted from the events of the morning (and tear stained cheeks and dried crying boogers under her nose) all she has left in her is too eat and sleep pretty much the rest of the day. But she isn't the happy little girl she once was, she is cranky, crabby, and mean. She also has decided that she doesn't like to wear diapers any more (though she is no where close to potty training) and she takes them off and leaves messes for Mama and Daddy to clean up...the liquid ones aren't too terrible, but when she decides we need drawings on her crib and walls and the only color option she has is BROWN the smell alone overwhelms me...let alone the clean up.<br />
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On top of our 4 kiddos we have two foster littles that have been with us since November that are at the point in the case that something needs to happen for them. They need permanency...they need to start working on their future rather than being kept in limbo. The two year old Teddy Bear is confused and acting out..often, but she can also charm the pants off of you, she is just confused. Her 1 year old brother follows her lead...and we have many melt downs. But they continue to have visits with bio mom every Friday where they also see their 4 older siblings. They do not understand....but they want to know what their future holds! I am trying to brace myself for when they leave...I love them like my own, as I do with all foster kids in my home. I invest in them like my own...and I would love for them to become my own...but we are still trying for reunification. Which breaks my heart! The odds of that happening are slim, but in the event that doesn't happen the state will rip them away from the place they feel safe, the place they learned what love and stability was all about, the place where they got to be kids rather than having to learn life skills over survival...and they will be moved out of state to be with some distant (older) relatives that they have never met. How long will it take the kids to recover and trust/love again? Will that be able to? I don't know...but I am trying to prepare myself for their departure. Prepare myself for the ache my children will have when these two kiddos leave our home. It will be like loosing some of our family.<br />
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Please know this is not a complaint about my life...we are living the life that God intends us to live...He just doesn't promise it is going to be easy.<br />
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But back to doing it alone, in this world there are very few people that understand why Handsome and I have chosen a life that clearly requires much work, little rest, and a LOT of hurt. Do you know that I work because I am trying to pay for our adoptions? One of our three adoptions were supposed to have been paid for, but when we made a decision to follow God in a direction He was leading us the family that had raised all of the money for that adoption decided we didn't deserve it. Okay God, we will trust you! Did you know that for LoveBug's adoption there was a surprise $11,000 to get her out of the hospital? Okay God, we will trust You! Did you know that if we wouldn't have adopted our children I could be that stay at home Mom? that I dream of being? Except then what would be the purpose of being a stay at home mom??? We have lost many things by choosing to follow the path that God has paved for us, we have lost Handsome's family, we have lost adoption funding, we have lost most of our friends, we have lost churches (seriously!?!?), we have lost sleep, we have lost babysitters, we have lost date nights, we have lost much....God never promised it would be easy....<br />
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But here is what we have gained: a relationship between Handsome and myself that is truly rock solid-it may not always be pretty, and it may not always be lovey dovey-but rock solid there until death do us part! We have gained a child like faith in God, because honestly, there are days that I just don't know how it is going to work out....but God does! We have gained 3 beautiful adopted children and one amazing biological child, all of whom are exactly the children that are supposed to be in our family, in our home, and in our hearts! We have gained so much in choosing to follow God no matter what the cost...<br />
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So I am not complaining, I am not asking for pitty...or money...or anything else. We go through seasons, and ours is a season of trials right now. From our experience trials are usually testing, and if we don't pay attention to the test at hand and learn the lesson that God is trying to teach He will surely present it to us again and again until we get it. We are trying to get used to handling this craziness by ourselves...with Him. <br />
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<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-22527049148500367382014-07-30T17:28:00.001-06:002014-07-30T17:28:18.977-06:003 years...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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About this time 3 years ago we got a fun phone call from Family to Family Adoptions Inc in Texas.....they had news for us...a baby girl due September 6....We already had Princess (4), Sunshine (4) and Cupcake (4.5 months) and we were going to be a growing family!!!</div>
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I don't remember the exact date they called...but the call itself...I will never forget!</div>
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My mind instantly went to this....having my arms full and my heart overflowing!</div>
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She was tiny and beautiful...</div>
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And she was ours...well not until the end of August was she born...and then in March we finalized her adoption....but how she has changed this family for good! We laugh more because of her...we smile more because of her....we fight more (as in fight for each other and the needs of our kids/family)...we are stronger because of her...we face the day differently because of her....she is our LoveBug...and this is the song I have chosen for her:</div>
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So Far To Find You</div>
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by Casting Crowns</div>
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You were broken, abandoned</div>
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And crying all alone</div>
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We were waiting and praying </div>
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And longing to bring you home</div>
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And then we saw your face</div>
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In a moment you were wrapped up in our hearts</div>
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We took a step of faith</div>
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And now here we are</div>
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Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight</div>
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I have come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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Will you take my love and give up the fight</div>
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I have come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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From a world away, I journeyed</div>
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Just to hold your hand</div>
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You will never be alone again</div>
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I've come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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You were fighting and fearful</div>
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You were hiding your heart away</div>
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But I was trying so hard to show you</div>
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'Cause there were no words that I could say</div>
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If you could see my heart</div>
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You would know that all I want to do</div>
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Is care for you</div>
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Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight</div>
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I have come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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Will you take my love and give up the fight</div>
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I have come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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Here in your eyes I see</div>
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Reflections of myself</div>
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How I"m the child that's really running</div>
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But I can hear a voice that's whispering my name</div>
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Saying come to me, don't run from me</div>
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I'm all you need and I am calling</div>
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Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight</div>
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(I have come so far)</div>
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Will you take my love and give up the fight</div>
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(I have come so far)</div>
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Will you let me hold you in my arms tonight</div>
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I have come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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Will you take my love and give up the fight</div>
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I have come so far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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From Heaven's throne</div>
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Down to a rugged cross I came</div>
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It was My love for you that brought Me all the way</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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So far to find you</div>
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You were broken, abandoned</div>
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And crying all alone</div>
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It is an amazing song...Our LoveBug was 6 lbs 1 oz when she was born addicted to crack cocaine. She was tiny and frail, she needed someone who could fight for her. It was a difficult road. She was so stiff should wouldn't latch on to nurse (I was already nursing my 5 month old) she cried for hours on end. While I was pumping/attending to Cupcake my Handsome would hold this little tiny baby in the wee hours of the night/morning and sing to her, quote scripture to her and hold her tight/close skin to skin. There were 5 months of withdrawals. She stayed in preemie diapers until she was 3 months and only because of quantity of fluids we then put her into Newborn diapers which leaked almost as bad because her tiny little legs were too small for the diaper to fit tightly around. She was in Newborn diapers until she was 8 months old. She couldn't grow...she cried...we cried...she doctored. But there was a miracle in this child....she had a desire to live....a will to fight...far greater than anyone could ever imagine. She also had an amazing smile and an awesome giggle! This girl came to us broken...I mean her body was in tact and every finger and toe was in place...but inside she was struggling with an addiction she didn't choose. We thought we were there for her, but let me tell you something...she is here for us! This girl is still so cute, funny, smilie, full of laughter and just adorable!</div>
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To say that this girl has my heart...an understatement. She was meant to be in this family...she was meant to be my daughter...I was meant to be her Mama!</div>
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What would you think if you saw a person from high school that was exactly the same as the day you met them? They looked the same, weighed the same, were wearing the same clothes, driving the same car, using the same slang, they were doing the exact some job...living in the exact same home...partaking in the same hobbies....I am telling you NOTHING had changed about this person. It is understandable that some are closer to this time frame of life than others....buy my mind instantly thinks of Ross, Rachael, Monica, Chandler, Pheobee, and Joey. Can you imagine if those 6 iconic characters were to just stay in 1995 mind set until 2050? They would be thought of is pretty silly. </div>
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Can you imagine your 12 year old self being married for 20+ years, having grown children and grandchild, a job, a house and all of the responsibilities that come with those things...yet only be able to function with what knowledge/capabilities you had when you were 12?</div>
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Growth is natural, from the minute we are conceived we grow. Each second that passes is one we will never get back. </div>
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Our parents, aunts & uncles, teachers, pastors and others around us work at keeping us healthy and equipping us with the needed 'tools' to get from the very beginning of our lives through all the way to the end.</div>
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There comes a time in our lives where we have to choose to take the reigns of our own 'growth' and continue down that path. Depending on what exactly we are talking about makes a difference at what stage of our life we take over. One wouldn't really expect a parent to brush their teeth if they were 18, but at the same time a parent really shouldn't be physically dressing a 16 year old either. (I know in some circumstances this point isn't valid.) I find it interesting that in many ways a child from the point of mobilization (crawling, walking, talking) is trying to become independent from their parents. </div>
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~ I frequently hear "I big, I do it" from my 3 year old. ~ </div>
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But yet as adults, whether married or not, schooled or not, working or not we are looking for ways to blame our lack of growth in areas on others. Maybe it is someone that doesn't 'own' their responsibilities at work, or someone else that hates life to the point they need to take others around them down so they don't feel so badly about themselves. Maybe it is the fresh out of college employee that feels angry because s/he isn't making as much as the veteran employee that has been there for 39 years. I do not completely understand why as humans we have this self destruct button, but it is damaging. It breaks relationships, it brings depression, it really makes chaos in all areas of life. <br />
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I have some things that I am not proud of, some of my biggest 'self destruct' tenancies come from a variety of things in my life...but ultimately it is my choice if I will allow them to swallow what could be happiness and health, laughter and progress. <br />
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*I like food, knowing that there are certain things that my body doesn't handle well...I still eat them because they taste good. Which causes medical issues, mood swings, and just a crumby feeling after eating the 'bad' foods....hence why I am constantly on a quest for a healthier life. in 2010 I tackled that trouble and was able to have victory...enter Cupcake and the pregnancy that came with her...and at the end I was blessed with a healthy baby girl....but my body was back (literally) in the exact place it started...maybe a few more stretch marks. I cannot blame anyone other than myself for defeat in this area....I CAN try, but the truth is that it is MY FAULT that I am where I am. </div>
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Anyway, I guess this is a rambling of my mind....I read something today that just sparked my mental state into needing to plead with mankind to take responsibility. I believe 100% that we all have a purpose on this life and that purpose IS NOT to cause brokenness and sorrow. </div>
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Do something positive today...negative is naturally going to come our way. What are we going to do with it??? Be someone positive today....you just never know who you might touch!</div>
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AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-55337784451107122582014-07-15T09:45:00.000-06:002014-07-15T09:45:08.231-06:00Music gets to me...As I have stated on more than one occasion, music can really get me thinking. I can hear a song and it can completely change my thought process for the moment or it can change my mood....music gets to me. <br />
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For example, on Sunday morning I had on Pan.dor.a and the song "Precious Memories" comes on...my mind is immediately taken back almost 12 years to my newlywed days when Handsome was providing pulpit supply for area churches when there was a need. One of our little churches was between pastors and so for 4-5 months we would get in our old black Mercury and drive to this little town while listening to the Gospel Hour on a local country station...almost every week they would play Precious Memories and now every time I hear the song I can smell Curve cologne, see my Handsome in a suit and tie and almost feel the plush burgundy seats of the old car!!! It is crazy!<br />
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But last night I had another song come up, "I Could Not Ask For More" by Ed.win...Mcc.ain. Now I realize this song was written for a couple, but while I was hearing the words I couldn't help but think of my kids.<br />
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<div class="verse" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">
"Lying here with you<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Listening to the rain<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Smiling just to see the smile upon your face<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />These are the moments I'll remember all my life<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I found all I've waited for<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And I could not ask for more<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Looking in your eyes<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Seeing all I need<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Everything you are is everything to me<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />These are the moments<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I know heaven must exist<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />These are the moments I know all I need is this<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I have all I've waited for<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And I could not ask for more</div>
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I could not ask for more than this time together<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I could not ask for more than this time with you<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Every prayer has been answered<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Every dream I have's come true<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Here with you here with me</div>
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These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />These are the moments I'll remember all my life<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I've got all I've waited for<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And I could not ask for more</div>
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I could not ask for more than this time together<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I could not ask for more than this time with you<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Every prayer has been answered<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Every dream I have's come true<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And right here in this moment is right where I'm meant to be<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Here with you here with me</div>
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I could not ask for more than the love you give me 'Cause it's all I've waited for<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />And I could not ask for more<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />I could not ask for more"</div>
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The entire song really makes me think of my children. Knowing from the age of 13 the odds of me carrying a healthy pregnancy to term were slim to none, becoming a mother was one of two things I really ever wanted....getting married and being a mom! When I met Handsome and told him that I probably could never give him children and he responded by telling me that we could just adopt!!! I knew he was my man! </div>
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"Smiling just to see the smile on your face"</div>
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-I do this often, there is nothing better than a dimple cheek, toothless smile of one of my kids! I love how their personalities come through in their cheesy little grins!!!</div>
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<div class="verse" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">
"These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive"</div>
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-Seriously, what else is there in this world than loving your children?!?!? Or at least for me...when I have my Handsome and my kiddos I am a happy lady. Just the other night all 6 of the kids were playing Ring Around The Rosie and when they would All.Fall.Down they would laugh and laugh and laugh...get up and do it again. Our Cupcake would tackle anyone that thought they could get away with not falling and then more giggles would happen. It was fabulous!</div>
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..."These are the moments I'll remember all my life"</div>
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<div class="verse" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">
"Looking in your eyes, seeing all I need"</div>
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-The fastest way to bring my attitude around (other than music) is being able to have a little sweet time with one of my kids. When I look into any of their eyes and connect with them on that level it really is an amazing form of contentment that comes over me! I love my kids! I love that God allowed me to be their mother!</div>
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<div class="verse" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">
"I could not ask for more than this time together, I could not ask for more than this time with you"</div>
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-I honestly have a hard time committing to anything that is going to take me away from my kids regularly! When I first was invited to my bi-weekly Bible Study that was one of my biggest concerns...but I will be missing putting them to bed, feeding them supper, jammies, Bible story time....my Handsome had to remind me that 13 nights out of 14 I would still be doing those things and it was okay to be away from it. But, "Right here in this moment is where I'm meant to be, here with you here with me!"</div>
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"Every prayer has been answered, every dream I have's come true"</div>
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-One honestly could not know how many prayers went up before my babies came home!!! I prayed for children before I was married (though I wanted to wait until after marriage), my Handsome and I prayed for children almost immediately after marriage, and we asked many friends and family to pray with us knowing the battle we had ahead of us...and then the miscarriages...there was many prayers!! But the prayers have been answered (even though I am still praying for another baby) and my dreams have been realized in the fact that I have 4 amazing children that are all mine...and two on loan for the moment!!! ;)</div>
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Anyway, I know this post is a little cheesy, who am I kidding...most of my posts are!?!? But it is a glimpse of how my brain works when a song comes on. Each and every line I dissect to get the deep down meaning of what is being said/sung!!! This song just so happened to be singing from my heart about my kids! </div>
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Have I mentioned that I love my kids??? "I could not as for more..."<br />
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AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-11782599869538868762014-06-29T12:32:00.002-06:002014-06-30T22:09:24.907-06:00Why we do what we do.So Satan always has a way of creeping into our home on Sunday mornings...I truly believe he is trying to either A) keep us from church all together or B) get us upset with eachother so that some or all of us arrive at church stewing about that rather than focusing our heart and mind on Christ and the message He is giving us through our pastor. Either way Satan is fighting us every step of the way to church!<br />
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This morning as I was trying to get myself and our 4 littles ready I was listening to Pan...dora on shuffle and a John.Michael.Mon.tgomery song came on that I have heard a million times before. As I listened to the words I kept thinking of the precious children that have been brought to our home in other ways than through my belly. I am speaking for our agency adopted children, our foster/adopt child and our foster children (past and current.) <br />
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Here are the first two verses of the song "Little Girl" by JMMontgomery<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">"Her parents never took the young girl to church</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Never spoke of his name never read her his word</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Two non believers walking lost in this world </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Took their baby with them what a sad little girl</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Never wanted to play or give kisses and hugs</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">She'd watched the TV and sit there on the couch</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">While her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">And the drinking and the fighting</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Just got worse every night</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Behind their couch she'd be hiding</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Oh what a sad little life</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">And like it always does the bad just got worse</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">With every slap and every curse </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Until her daddy in a drunk rage one night</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Used a gun on her mom and then took his life</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">And some people from the city took the girl far away</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">To a new Mom and a new Dad </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Arial, 'Trebuchet MS'; font-size: 12px;">Kisses and hugs every day!"</span><br />
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Sadly I do not think that many people realize how really severe the problems of today are. There are thousands of children in our very own country that wake up (on their own) every day...if they are 3 or older they are probably waking up to scavange food for their younger siblings. They tip toe around their mom and/or dad trying NOT to wake them because they are afraid of WHO or WHAT they will receive when they wake up! We have had a 2 yr old foster daughter placed just 1 month post her 2nd birthday and already knew to look in the corners of the house for crumbs, climb kitchens counters to find 'the good stuff', and check and change her 1 yr old brothers diaper (not well, but she still tried.) Her older brothers and sisters were old enough for school, so they were able to get meals when they were at school and they were also able to get a break from having to parent the younger siblings to go to school and try to blend in so they didn't put a spotlight on their parents. But while they were at school the babies were forced to live on their own. Sometimes there wasn't an adult around, sometimes there was but the partying was more important than feeding or caring for the child. Life was about survival and it was scary. There was not love, there was not structure, there was not stability. This is the story for child after child in the system (and many who are not) in our country.<br />
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My husband and I did not 'choose' to be foster parents long term. We DID decide to get licensed so that we could grow our family when agency adoption wasn't working well for us and I was desperate to be a mother. In that moment we never really could have known what God had in store for us. Yes, our first placement was precious adorable little baby boy that we were able to dress and feed and love. But that little boy quickly had so many doctors appointments that I was hauling our 3 month old baby girl along with to 30-40 appointments a MONTH!!! He was sick because his birthmom thought there was only way to feel loved by men. She had babies and was unable to care for them because no one took the time to care for her. She didn't know how to survive on her own, let alone caring for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th baby she brought into the world by way of getting 'loved' by men. Sure, that little boy is the CUTEST little blonde haired boy I have EVER seen, and we are blessed that he is permanently calling us Mom and Dad....but even in his short time that his biological mother was responsible for him (pregnancy) she made decisions for herself and against our son that has altered his quality of life forever. We are unsure if Sunshine will ever leave our home to live on his own...will he be married? Go to college? Have children? We simply do not know. Non Christian doctors have basically told us our best chance for him is to get on our knees!! Prayer is something I can do...but I do not know if God will choose to answer these prayers or try to teach us or reach others through my son. We will see. We fought for our son...we love our son...and when we FINALLY were able to go to court and legally adopt him that was not the end of our fostering. <br />
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No God had a bigger plan...far bigger than we would ever know and probably bigger than we would ever have chosen on our own. We just received our 'thanks for 8 years of service' certificate at the Foster parent Appreciation Picnic this month, I do not say this for 'congrats' or 'thanks' but for the fact that a decision we made to become parents was fulfilled in just a 2.5 year time after starting...so why do we continue. We continue because God needs people that will love these children, God needs people that can provide stability and structure for these children. God wants people to teach this precious souls about Him. <br />
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God has called us...<br />
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We are not 'good people' we are not the 'bleeding hearts' we do not 'love being foster parents' (okay sometimes, in some situations I do. I can think of at least 3 cases over our years that I have LOVED being involved in) but we do this because God has given us a job to do, God needs us to love these children. <br />
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Think about the repercussions of putting our own 4 kids to bed one night and having them wake up the next day to 2 strange children that came while they slept. Think about the fact that most of these children come from sad SAD situations similar to what the songs talks, or my example and that they do not just 'fall into place' in the family. There is fighting, screaming, destruction and crying...what gets me the most is that little child crying for the mother that has been putting her cigarettes out on her little one that is covered in round little burns all over their body. Crying for the Daddy that has used her as his 'enjoyment' when there was no one else around to fulfill his 'needs.' How heartbreaking is is that when you offer a bed to a child for the first time in their life, food on a regular basis, toys that look like they are never ending, and love...the child still cries for the people that abuse them because that IS ALL THEY EVER KNEW!!! But imagine this just for a moment. Yes when a child comes into my home I buy them clothes...I dress them as if they are my own...and we love and teach them like they are our own...because why should they have second best just because they may only be with us for a short time??? When they are in my home they are treated and taught just like mine...I have 6 kids right now...I do NOT have 4 children and 2 foster children. The child should not suffer because his/her biological parents need to get some things together in their life. But please remember, just because they 'look normal' doesn't mean they are.....<br />
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God has called us...<br />
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I write this to let you in on a secret...it isn't us at all. It is God working through us that allows us to do what we do. Did you know we have been talked down to by church pastors and leaders because we have foster children in our midst? Did you know we have not been welcomed in some churches because of our unique family? Does anyone really want to NOT be wanted or included? I do not, but neither do these precious children. <br />
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God has called us...to love the little children. <br />
God has called us...to father the fatherless.<br />
God has called us...to be a home for the lonely.<br />
God has called us...to adopt and love children that may otherwise not receive those very important things in their lives. <br />
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Please pray for us as we continue on this journey that God has paved for us. It isn't easy, it isn't always fun....but it is where God wants us to be. Please pray for the children that are not receiving hugs and kisses every day, because they are everywhere and no where at the same time. <br />
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God had called us and that is why we do what we do.AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-15304103509379992692014-06-24T11:57:00.002-06:002014-06-24T12:13:49.600-06:00It Won't Be Like This For Long...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: large;"> <span style="background-color: white; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">It won't be like this for long</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;"></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: proxnov-reg, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 16px;">One day soon that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone</span></span></div>
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And this phase is gonna fly by, so he's trying to hold on</div>
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'Cause it won't be like this for long</div>
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It won't be like this for long</div>
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-Darius Rucker </div>
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I have spent much time away from my kids lately, not away from my home...but we are preparing for a rummage sale and so Handsome has been taking care of the feeding and the house while I have been cleaning, organazing & pricing items for the sale. But while I am pricing all these cute tiny outfits and shoes my mind goes back to what seems like yesterday. Back when they were little...but the truth is there isn't a one of them that have anything really very 'little' about them any more...and that makes this Mama heart both sad at the 'loss' of babyhood and proud of who they are becoming!<br />
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Our little Miss Princess isn't so little any more...in fact when we are not dealing with what seems like teenager attitude and laziness we usually 'catch' her picking up a responsibility with one of the younger ones in the house. Sure she does still have her fun, but she is Mama's excellent helper. This girl, I can think back to yesterday (a few yesterdays ago) to when she was little and while she didn't ever really need my help, needed me much more than she does now!!! Her love of life has always been one of the things that stands out about her...her laugh, her smile and her happy eyes! She is becoming a beautiful young lady, still rough around the edges...but growing into a young lady and trying to choose God's way for her life<br />
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Our little LoveBug! She is so amazing to me, the struggles she deals with on a daily basis are overwhelming (at times) to her Mama and yet most days she faces them with a huge smile on her face! She keeps us all giggling around here. One of her 'big things' around lately has been trying her hand at sentences...no doubt the speech therapy is helping...but whenever you ask her a question IF she says YES (usually she says NO) it is actually 'YES, I did!' Ex: "Are you stinky?" "Yes, I did!" or "Do you like pink?" "Yes, I did!" She is so precious to me.<br />
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My Sunshine!!! This kiddo has many obstacles he is working to overcome but his heart is overwhelmingly sweet. He has been working on his temper lately, working to not throwing tantrums and not screaming out of control. When he is thinking through things he is a huge helper...he loves to teach the little ones new things (and for the most part they are GOOD). Sunshine has always enjoys outside play time and taking care of our dogs.<br />
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The Cupcake...this girl screams BIG in every single area. We are on her 3rd week accident free, as in not even at naps or bed time! She wants to do everything the big kids do and she is often spouting off orders to anyone who will listen. It is an interesting feeling as the Mama to my only biological kid. I see myself in her...never had that before. It makes me almost harder on her in some ways, because I don't want her to have to struggle through the same mistakes that I did. She has most guys in her life wrapped around her finger (Papa, Daddy, Brother....) and that is exactly how she wants it. But then, when the sun goes to bed for the day we get this tender sweet spirit that is very dependent on Mama and Daddy snuggles! <br />
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The Bible says children are a gift from God. Oh how true that is, and how amazing it is that God has chosen these 4 children to allow me to raise them for Him (and the foster babes too!) <br />
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While I am reflecting on my 31st birthday I can only imagine what my mom is thinking about her two children, where we are in our lives and where she is in hers. It makes me think that she probably remembers these days with my brother and I as if they were yesterday and wonders where the time went....like I am with my little ones! Cherish this time my friends...IT WON'T BE LIKE THIS FOR LONG!!!AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-2479815903069909772014-03-19T01:19:00.001-06:002014-03-19T01:21:43.371-06:00Lord I thank YOU!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Who would have guessed that I would be sitting here writing a happy birthday letter to a child who frequently hears "you are your Mama's miniMe!" With our rough start to building our family it definitely was something that left my thoughts several years before! But here I am and she is nothing short of a miracle! <br />
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This little Cupcake has taught me so many things that I didn't know were missing in my life....I am thankful for the beautiful puzzle God has used to put our family together, but tonight I am thankful that He saw fit to bless me with the opportunity to carry a baby to full term and deliver her. To raise a little one that from the very minute I met her could look into her face and KNOW she was mine! It has been a journey, one that is blessed and perfect...one that I believe God gifted me with.<br />
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Rather than meeting my baby as a stranger and working from that minute to teach her who I was...she knew. She knew me better than I did, my breath sounds, my heartbeat, my voice....it was calming and soothing to her. She knew me...and I knew her! We were instantly bonded and to this very day this precious girl still needs looks and touches in a different way that any of my heart born children! </div>
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That first year went so quickly, her personality started to blossom and the stubborn nature that surely allow her to stick around inside of me became evident! She was just so perfect. I literally wanted to take in every moment of her life.</div>
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Those toes, those dimples, those cheeks, her upturned nose, here puffy little grandma arms, her wispy blonde hair, her blue blue eyes...sheer perfection. A true miracle of God! Now I do think this of every child...not just Cupcake...but not every child is of me. Her second year proved again to us just how amazing it was to have a child that was part of us. Her stubbornness continued and we started getting a little bit of attitude. But she also had a very fond spot for her Papa! She loves her Papa and babies and birds and ice cream and touching her Mama! She notices things, she GETS things, as in you can explain simple things to her and rather than having to go about it 100 different ways...she GETS it. It is beautiful.</div>
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And now I sit here on the day of her birth, just 3 years later and continue to be in awe of what God does to bring a child into this world. This baby, this Cupcake was just a tiny little speck inside of me that grew and grew and grew until she was out of room and it was time for her to join the world. She captured many from the very beginning and continues to do so. </div>
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As I quoted on my FB account last night...my first grade teacher Mrs. Lordan was a huge influence in my life all the way until she passed away after we had Princess & Sunshine had a saying she told me. Apparently it was something she used to tell me when I was in her classroom, I don't remember that, but on my high school graduation she told me that she knew I would do great things because I have always been "small but MIGHTY!" While I can say that Cupcake is one of those great things I now can look at this little person (who still looks A LOT like myself) and see that very thing in her. She is SMALL BUY MIGHTY!</div>
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I can only give credit to One for this precious blessing I call my own...you see before I loved her He knew her...He knew when the perfect time was for her to join our family...He knew when my body would be able to carry her...He knew. And every single day that I go into her room and wake her up I am reminded that God still performs miracles!!! I love you my Cupcake! Thank you God for letting me be her Mommy!<br />
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<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-70208046530959058452014-01-28T15:47:00.000-07:002014-01-28T15:47:15.204-07:00January 26thI have been thinking about writing this post for 3 days, but just couldn't find the words. January 26th marked 9 years since our 3rd precious bundle decided Jesus' arms were calling. While I can see the plans God had through loosing our first 4 babies through miscarriage, it does not make it easier to see their 'birthdays' come on the calendar year after year. I used to think it would have been easier to endure the loss if we had living children around us, but now that we do have precious children my realization is that now I know what we missed by not knowing those precious children. Hearing their giggles, kissing their owies, snuggling little bundles and seeing the world through their eyes on a daily basis are all things that in our last two miscarriages (both after we had living children) hurt even more! Now to be honest, having miscarriages is not the biggest trial I feel we have endured, but they were life changing and have helped me to enjoy being a mommy at all hours of the day AND night and to watch my complaints about what parenthood means. Those precious babies grow up and they become toddlers and in be'tweens' and the one we have not yet experienced - teenagers. But you know what? We have 6 children that we never get to go through those stages with!!! -wonderful or tough stages as they may be- So for me to complain about the stage of parenthood we are at with ~enter any difficult moment (and there are MANY)~ our living children would be to forget the battle we faced along with being ungrateful for the blessings God has bestowed upon us.<br />
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I miss you my six precious -PERFECT- angels...see you in heaven one day.<br />
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I encourage anyone that may read this to think about a family that struggles with fertility or have even moved into the roller coaster called adoption and find a way to bless and encourage them. Even if they are not asking for help....THEY NEED IT!!! <br />
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Maybe the words were still not right, but it was time for me to 'write' them out! Thank you for reading my thoughts.<br />
<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-51727375848249484972014-01-05T12:32:00.002-07:002014-01-05T12:32:57.941-07:00My Handsome<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I have to take a moment and brag on my amazing Handsome...This guy literally makes my world spin on a regular basis, He wears so many different 'hats' and I do not always understand what that means for him and all that he does in a 24 hour time period!!!! </div>
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He is an amazing husband, always has been. He is sweet and fairly chivalrous (was more so before children...but when wrangling 6 kids to get into the Suburban I cannot exactly expect him to open my door any more! ;) He pays attention so little things and is very good about helping around the house! He cooks, does laundry & dishes, changes diapers and occasionally gives me a day to myself!!! He is working on becoming more of a romantic (not a natural thing for him...but I am) but when the day is done I know that this man is mine forever! He is my true love and I am blessed that God saw fit to make me for this man! </div>
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He is a hard worker...sometimes TOO HARD a worker. He started our married life (11.5 years ago!) as an electrician and quickly starting doing pulpit supply for area pastors that were sick or on vacation. That lead him to becoming an Associate Pastor (while still doing full time electrical work) and then a Senior pastor (while still doing FT electrical work.) My husband puts 110% into whatever he is doing. I honestly cannot think of another man I would rather listen to preach God's Word. He started working for the city right after Cupcake was born and 6 months in received an amazing opportunity (promotion) to where he is now....plus since then has been given many other responsibilities, labels, ect. that he is in charge of. He has remolded/built/upgraded/added onto every house we have ever lived in, even the ones we didn't own. He is AMAZING! And while he isn't doing direct electrical work or pastoral work any more he still finds time to do that here and there. He does some electrical on the side for people and also fills in preaching when given the opportunity! </div>
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He is a great Daddy! This is him and our Princess dancing in the living room one night before bed. Dance speaks to this girls heart and he went as far as doing 'the Daddy' dance two years in a row on stage in front of people just to connect with his precious first born! She has talked him into dancing again this year and I'm excited to see it! He does a very good job with explaining things so kids can understand them and also teaching them what God expects of them! </div>
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Handsome & our Sunshine</div>
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Our sunshine has been a bit of a challenge to both myself and my husband, his mental issues really stretch us on a daily basis...but that being said it has been AMAZING to watch Handsome blossom as a father to this (not so) little guy. He allows him to watch and learn while doing landscaping/yard work or even when working in the kitchen. He takes the time to explain and discipline...he really strives to teach our son how to be a respectable adult/husband/father/worker one day!</div>
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Handsome & Cupcake</div>
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This honestly has been one of the most amazing things for me to witness!!! Cupcake is our only surviving biological child, and while we love all of our children the same...there are things that are different about her. She comes FROM us, the rest of our children do not. We have been working to bond with and strengthen that bond with our adopted children ever since they joined our family...but Cupcake was born bonded with us. To see the natural bond between my Handsome and Cupcake has been awesome. He has changed on account of her...in a good way. She has softened him, she had shown him love, she has taught him so many things....and he adores her. She can get him to melt into a puddle with a cute little smile and head turn. It is beautiful.</div>
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Handsome & LoveBug</div>
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LoveBug has been another trick for us...she was born addicted to crack cocaine. We already had a 5 month old at home that I was nursing/pumping for. So Handsome took on the challenge of taking care of her in the middle of her withdrawals....he would snuggle her up so tight and walk with her all hours of the night and day. Because of this a very special bond was formed between the two of them...she has turned into a clown and he and her have so much fun together. To this day he is the only one that she will settle down and snuggle with! </div>
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<a href="http://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="" /></a>I am so blessed and thankful to have a husband that loves me, loves our children and sticks by through thick and thin. Which is good...because he is about the only one who sticks around...we have a desire to serve God in the capacity in which He deems best for us, at this time it seems foster care is really where He wants us. Handsome also has a desire to get me healthy so I can enjoy a long life with the children God has given me. I am thankful for this man...this very man God gave to me!!!!</div>
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I Love You Handsome!!!!</div>
AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-9637382710596634862013-12-27T21:01:00.002-07:002013-12-27T21:01:38.130-07:00Happy Birthday Sunshine<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Oh my sunshine, what is this Mama supposed to say about you? You have melted my heart from the very begging of you entering our home as our first foster baby you have melted this Mama's heart. There was something about you that I KNEW you were not leaving us. Even though it took the state 21 months for us to be able to LEGALLY be your family, you were my son from the minute you entered my arms on January 2nd 2007 when you were six days old!</div>
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In the first few years we knew that you were not a 'normal' child but you were going to be very special....and that you are. You do not do things the way that others do, but you get them done. You are very smart and have the opportunity to do great things with your intelligence.</div>
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Your precious smile/giggle and your loving/warm eyes have always melted every single person that comes around. From very early in your little life your smile and giggle were that people would comment on. Oh how you can melt those around you with your charm.</div>
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Tonight as we celebrated your 7th birthday it was so special to have you surrounded by those that love you. When I asked you tonight what was your favorite part of your day your response was naming the people that were here throughout the day...those that came to be a part of your day. 2 sets of Aunts & Uncles and a GREAT Aunt & Uncle. Sunshine you are loved. There is love all around you, and how blessed we are to be your parents. I understand you have more struggles than the average kid....I also know I struggle at times as your Mama. Please forgive me for that because when I think about you I remember these special moments. The giggles, the laughter and your quirkiness like squealing when you opened your coon skin hat tonight because you were afraid it was something alive! ;) I look forward to what your future holds...you can do great things my Sunshine! <br />
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Happy 7th Birthday Baby!</div>
<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-26836545264090906382013-12-25T09:08:00.000-07:002013-12-25T09:08:19.613-07:00Merry Christmas <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Happy Happy Happy...this is one of my favorite phrases. As the youngest (official) child in this family I try really hard to keep people laughing. My mom is so busy with all the kids at The Patch the she forgets to laugh sometimes and my dad, well he makes me laugh because he is always coming and going from one of my appointments to his Bible study or one of his jobs...he is just REALLY busy (and popular!!!) Just in case he doesn't have enough to do Mom always has a list of painting or fixing for him. My sister Cupcake tends to forget she isn't my mom sometimes, but I'll give her credit, she knows the Pumpkin babies needs fairly well! I like her because she is always asking to watch Veggietales, now if she would just stop trying to push me around!</div>
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I have another sister and she turned 7 in September! She started the year getting spoiled by Grandma & Grandpa....they took her on a boat bigger than our block and it had Mickey, Minnie & lots of Princesses on it. She started in Texas....went to some islands that sound like cayenne pepper (Cayman Islands) and also to a place in Mexico that sounds like someone is sneezing when you say it (Cozumel.) Princess still loves to dance and she even gets to be on a competition team this year! She gets to stay at home all day because my mom is her 1st grade teacher, but I just think she likes to hang around to remind Mama that her (Mama's) feet are smaller than hers. Princess is very happy because two weeks before Thanksgiving our family added two little chocolate foster siblings...we are all think they are pretty special, but Princess loves that they are 'dark chocolate' like her!</div>
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My brother, Sunshine, has had a rough year and many of his appointments have added to the old Suburban coming and going quickly from our driveway. He is in 1st too, but he gets to ride a bus to school and he LOVES that! He has decided that his favorite day is Wednesday because he gets to eat supper at church and then they have Bible Club after. Sunshine is also REALLY enjoyed being in the Christmas program at church last weekend.</div>
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I also have to share, from my 2 years of experience, that my Mama turned OLD this year! She celebrated her 30th with a hail storm that gave us a new roof and holes in our siding. Daddy was so thankful to be our of town so the Suburban's were safe, but he should have known to keep quiet because a month later ANOTHER storm came through and made it look all dimpled like Cupcake's cheeks! Do you know how lough golf ball sized hail is from the inside of the Suburban??? Mama was thankful that her precious roses survived both those storms AND the October 40 inch snow storm as well! Her red rose bush reached over 6.5 feet tall this year!!!</div>
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So I think it is time for me to go to bed now. Usually that means I jump in my crib and sing some of my favorite songs (Jesus Loves Me, The Wheels on the Bus & Jingle Bells are at the top of my list.) I'm going to try and be good though, because Sunday is coming and after church we always get to go to Guadalajara's for lunch an d then go home and watch the Vikings loose. I get bored and usually starting chasing Buzz Buzz (out dog) around trying to kiss him!</div>
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My family stays very busy, but we work hard and love the Lord. We also enjoy being together. I hope you have had a HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 2013 and that 2014 will be just as wonderful or better! </div>
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Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!</div>
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Love,</div>
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LoveBug...but don't forget Daddy, Mommy, Princess, Sunshine & Cupcake love you too!</div>
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<br />AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-1358496802780211552013-12-17T16:59:00.000-07:002013-12-17T16:59:11.830-07:00Trying this again.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
As of late I have been looking back at previous posts and remembering the memories that they hold like they were yesterday...and then there is a gap between February 28th 2012 and December 17th 2013. I have missed being able to look at the high {and low} points from the blog to write the last two years Christmas letter. And my husband made a comment a couple months back, my mother yesterday and a couple other people in between that they missed my blogging. Truth is, I have also! So here we are, we are going to play a little catch up...and see if we can try to at least do a once a week post about our family!</div>
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I celebrated my 30th birthday this summer. I remember when my mom turned 30...it seemed like such a big number back then...now it doesn't. Funny how so much in life is that way!!! Handsome and I also celebrated our 11th Anniversary in August. That number DOES seem big when you are talking marriage {these days} but I wouldn't do it any different...this man is my best friend and I'm so thankful God put our paths next to each other. </div>
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I am still doing Pumpkin Patch Daycare in our home. Celebrated our 5th birthday with that one in October...have been blessed to have so many wonderful clients. With all the little people in my life I really do not have much left over time for me...but it is only a season and it will be over far too soon.</div>
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Handsome just celebrated his 2nd year at the waste water treatment plant in town and is loving that job. He has been working hard on fine tuing the landscaping around the house and also getting rid of the 1991 blue that was all over the inside of the house. The main living space is pretty much finished (except my wish list of new cabinets & counter top) and this winter in his free time he is going to tackle the kids' bedrooms and the bathrooms! He doesn't get much free time either, but he enjoyed a couple hikes this summer/fall and also just ended a 39 week Bible study that has really blessed him. Just recently he has started helping out with a youth Bible class on Wednesday nights. His time is occupied with those things along with helping with cooking & cleaning and taking kids to and from appointments, dance & church!</div>
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Our Precious Princess! She turned 7 in September and is full of life and energy. She is a constant reminder that I am not a Mama to only babies/toddlers any more! She is in her 6th year of dance and got to join a competition team this year. She is confidant that the team will be bringing home a trophy. Some of her other milestones this year were: she is in 1st grade (home school), being big enough to go down the water slides at the Rec Center, getting new 'big kid' glasses, starting the process of braces (just today), finding out she is going to have surgery on her adenoids and also her feet are now bigger than Mamas. </div>
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I appreciate so much about this girl. She laughs so often, she helps out with the babies and keeping Pumpkins rallied for me. She is very active when it comes to anything that DOESN'T involve work!</div>
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Our Sunshine has had a tough year but looks forward to his 7th birthday the end of this month. After 18 months of us pulling our hair out of some very peculiar destructive behaviors we finally found a doctor that would help us...he evaluated Sunshine and came to the conclusion that we had figured a couple of years ago: Bi-Polar and Oppositional Defiance Disorder. With his 'family' history (the little that we know) this is not a shock to us. We are now learning how to help him and he is able to be a part of our family more because he is able to function more than he was before. His smile will still melt your heart. With his troubles I decided I was no longer able to home school him and so in August I cried as my baby boy walked away to the bus stop for the very first time. We are thankful for the team at school that is helping him! He loves riding the bus. He also has found a love for Uncle Si on Duck Dynasty...something the whole family agrees on!!! He is the first one to get dirty and the first one to give a hug if someone is having a tough day. He enjoys anything that moves and building things with Lego's or Lincoln logs!!!</div>
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Our Cupcake. I could write a book about this crazy loving 2 year old! She has definitely rewritten some of our parenting in the different ways she has taught us to love. She happily holds the title of the boss to her brother and sisters and they oblige. She is so full of life with everything that she does...and has some really fun quirks about her as well. She has wiggled her way into our -no kid zone- bed every Wednesday night and wouldn't have it any other way. She loves to be a big girl and try new things, but sometimes bites off more than she can chew and is happy to run back to snuggle a hug or find safety in Daddy's arms! She loves babies...both dollies and the real deal. She often knows what my Pumpkin Babies need before I do. She has a great love for her Papa and wants to hog him whenever we are around him! Cupcake looks forward to starting dance after the new year and is all worried about making sure Mama puts the groceries away in the correct place every Sunday afternoon. One of her favorite things to do is to dance to "What does the fox say" or "Gummi Bear" on Wii Just Dance Kids!</div>
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Our LoveBug! She is a happy happy happy 2 year old that can frequently be found singing, counting, or laughing. This little girl has been full of surprises! Born addicted to cocaine proved to be a little bit of a trial in the beginning, just when getting through the 3rd month of withdrawals we discovered she had cerebral palsy. While it is a very mild form, the combination of being addicted to drugs in utero and the CP makes her a 'difficult case.' She was blessed to be accepted by the Shriner's hospital in November and will be making her first trip to Minneapolis with Daddy for her first appointments in March...just before her 2nd Anniversary of her adoption day. She makes you laugh and is our family clown...we are so blessed to have this little lady in our lives. She has so many little ways she communicates without words, which is nice because some days she is unable to speak in ways that she can be understood. Sign language also helps us out too. On her rough days she doesn't like to be around the daycare kids and actually prefers playing in her crib so she can just lay down and nap as needed. I breaks this Mama's heart to have her spend so much of the day alone, but at those moments that is what helps best. She has occupational therapy every other week and physical therapy every week. In the new year we will be doubling both PT & OT and adding Speech also. </div>
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We are blessed to have two little dark chocolate foster babies that have been with us for just over a month also. That brings the ages of our 6 kids living here to 7, 6, 2, 2, 2 and 1! It makes for a busy household...but can I just tell you how amazing it is to remember back to 10 years ago when we had our first miscarriage and hearing that is was unlikely we would ever have children! </div>
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My hope for this blog is to post weekly (sometimes more or less.) I would be happy if you would follow along, but understand if you are not interested. Love Being Mama ended up being more for me to remember all the ways I LOVE BEING A MAMA, and I look forward to continuing on that journey!</div>
AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-72645548890041268982012-02-28T03:32:00.000-07:002012-02-28T03:32:00.564-07:00Children...<em>***Notice: I do not claim to be the parent that knows everything, has perfect children, or responds correctly to every circumstance that comes up throughout the day. HOWEVER, I do try very hard to look to the future as to what is best for my children and then apply life lessons to the children God has blessed me with today, that will help prepare them for that future. Also, this is not written with anyone in mind...it is a reminder to me ~as a parent~ the battle I am fighting daily for the Lord.</em><br />
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As I mentioned yesterday, "Children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Children are a gift from God, but so often times we forget that while they are blessings and they are precious and cute...they also need to grow up to be respectable hard working adults. That isn't going to happen by chance, parenting takes hard work...there is not a specific 'how to' manual...each child IS different. But God's Word is a good place to start! "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 Do we really think the child who is allowed -without repremand- to tell that man how fat he is, or to kick the nice lady at the doctors office, tell their own parents to shut up, or to throw food at the person sitting at the booth behind them at the restaurant, ect. is going to just stop after they exit the 'terrible twos' aweful threes or confusing tweens....um, NO. Their repulsive acts will just grow with their age. NOW, before you start throwing a fit (these are all things, and many more, I have personally witnessed) kids will be kids and we all know they like to 'test the waters.' But as we are clay in the Potters hands...so are children in their parents hands. Many a times my children have opened their mouth or done something that is not allowed or even for the first time trying something in public...BUT they do not get away with it. <strike>You know what needs to happen, the parent is to make a big dramatic scene and yell and scream at the child forcing them to say they are sorry and leave before any more embarassement happens</strike>....NO. Did you know a child will hear far better if you speak with kind quiet words rather than yell and put on a show?<br />
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Another thing that is good is to set up consequences in advance. If you have been having trouble in a particular area lately let them know before it starts what will happen if they act up and what will happen if they are good. <em>For example</em>...we have been having trouble with our two oldest being wild at church ( I know, I know...they are not that bad...BUT they are doing things that we do not allow as parents to our children) so, before we left for church we told them the struggles they have been having at church lately...they agreed. We told them what is expected of them while at church, again they agreed. We then ASKED them what a good consequence would be if they broke our rules while at church...<strong>we</strong> agreed it was a fair decision. I was unable to go because of sick babies...but Handsome again reminded them of the discussion once they were buckled in the Suburban. They broke our rules at church. Plain and simple...they disobeyed their Mommy and Daddy. When they loaded up in the Suburban after church Handsome asked them...so how do YOU think you did at church today? They both spoke in turn explaining that they were naughty and did not obey. Handsome they asked what we should do about it. Almost together they both responded by stating the consequence decided upon before church. And do you know what? They faced that consequence with no bad attitude, no tears, no trying to get out of it...they faced it and accepted it. In a sense they 'owned' their actions! Do you know how we got to this point in parenting? HARD WORK! Consistant teaching of obedience and the consequences of wrong doing from the time they were 6 months old!<br />
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Now the hardest thing that I am finding for me as a parent is having to try and teach your children to do what is right even when people around you will not back you up. It is no secret we have higher or stricter expectations for our children than many people around us. I am not saying this to put myself above anyone, please understand this, but my 5 year old children are to remain in control of themselves at all times. Not acting wild and loud at inappropriate times or places etc. etc. I get that, but if you know that my child is not suppose to be running in church (accourding to their parents rules) doing laugh at them and let them run by...stop them! Remind them that is not something they are supposed to be doing! Back a fellow parent up! If you are at a play group and my child is the one hitting someone else's child with a toy...stop them! As a fellow parent of more than one child you must know that one parent cannot be on top of all four children at all times. This is a common problem in society today...people around are destroying the authority of the parent. Sometimes purposefully and sometimes unknowingly. Did you know that being told NO is not going to send my 5 year old into the depths of depression to the point that as a 37 year old they will not be able to stay in a relationship or hold a job because 32 years before their Mama told them they couldn't have the extra treat or that THIS weekend we are not going to go 'do something fun' we need to work on keeping the house. Character...let us all go work on it, for ourselves and for our children.<br />
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So to sum it all up, raising children is not something that is just going to happen. But with hard work and dedication you and your child will have a great relationship and you will have a responsible adult child that is a hard worker and actualy respects the authority God has placed in their life! AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-6945768414406399162012-02-27T15:31:00.000-07:002012-02-27T15:31:56.683-07:00A ValleyDear ones, this is more for myself than anyone. But feel free to read thoughts as they pertain to you...maybe someone can find something worthwhile in here...<br />
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Have you ever heard the phrase that goes something to the effect of, "if Satan is attacking you regularily and people are leaving your side often...you must be doing something right?" I suppose that is supposed to mean that if we serve God we are all supposed to be lonely righteous people that just keep suffering in the name of Jesus? <br />
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While there are seasons that it does seem this to be true, if you are walking the walk He has given you...you are not alone! God is always there! "I will never leave you for forsake you!" What a comforting thought. I know that God is with me and I also know what direction in life He wants me to go! <br />
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Another amazing thing is that God as placed someone else on this earth for ME that has the same direction, the same Path God has placed him on! Handsome is an amazing man all on his own...but the thing is he isn't all on his own. He is an amazing man because he allows God to lead his life. He allows God to be the one to direct us as a couple and as a family. I have not met many, if any, other people in this short life I have lived that are as true to God as my husband. Sure there are many that try to proclaim that they are...but seriously, you cannot speak that you are a believer and follower of Christ...your fruits will speak for you. "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth unto rightwousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." I am not saying that if you are saved that you can loose your salvation....because Romans 10:9&10 says right there that if you truly believe you are saved. What I am saying is that there are many people that taken Gods mercy and grace a little too far when 'liveing for Him' and start living for themselves much more. Sure, the things they are doing are not bad...they may even look good on the outside, but if it is for personal gain (money, reputation, status, etc.) it isn't for God. God does want us to be successful in every thing we do, but for His glory...not our own. "For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)<br />
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Now another side to not being alone while walking in Christ is the beautiful family He has blessed us with! 5.5 years ago today we found out we were going to become parents THAT DAY! Up to that point it looked rather bleak. So the simple fact that we are parents to four beautiful precious children is something that is a reminder of Gods love for us! We should not take a minute with our children for granted because they, in fact, are not ours...but Gods children! <br />
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Friends, if you are fortunate enough to have A friend you can run to for encouragent and to lean on...or that you can uplift or encourage yourself you are blessed! <br />
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What I am saying is that even when it seems you are in a valley, you are not alone...if you look around you God is there! And I am blessed enough to have a godly husband to walk through this life as well! Many times it seems that it is just the three of us..God, Handsome, and myself...but why could that not be enough? God alone should be enough...<br />
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Again...just my thoughts...for me. AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-55294510795906378732012-02-16T13:56:00.000-07:002012-02-16T13:56:10.060-07:00Back to reality...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgLJahaEJZRM8o60xw74rIlwpssdIHeZ-b8u1S8-_OchfyMZUfyzYP3C3PMDJ8YyC-AyKsyKXtxeVyGDYH5Wiyjj4AzuHwFi2Pi-YionQEBYfUA2D5nZ_EPiUfBDdP_miCmc6eGH7JFfdJ/s1600/m_0f3e5a3970f65da74656967f7e12bd3f1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgLJahaEJZRM8o60xw74rIlwpssdIHeZ-b8u1S8-_OchfyMZUfyzYP3C3PMDJ8YyC-AyKsyKXtxeVyGDYH5Wiyjj4AzuHwFi2Pi-YionQEBYfUA2D5nZ_EPiUfBDdP_miCmc6eGH7JFfdJ/s1600/m_0f3e5a3970f65da74656967f7e12bd3f1.jpg" yda="true" /></a></div>I have to say how incredibly thankful I am for the opportunity to experience being pregnant. From the minute I saw the positive on August 1st 2010 until she was born on March 19th 2011 I had the opportunity to experience what reality was like. God gave me the biggest blessing He could ever have given...he gave me the opportunity to feel 'normal'! And then again, when I started producing milk and until I finished pumping on January 4th 2012...normal! It was a ton of work to keep milk flowing and we had a few bumps in the road but with time, research, and hard work the only thing my babies are still drinking is my milk. Cupcake will be 11 months next week and Love Bug 6 months! I was given the opportunity to produce milk for both of my babies...Cupcake will have enough to make it to a year and Love Bug will make it at least to 7 months..maybe a little longer. <br />
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Why is this a big deal, I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and had 4 miscarriages early in our marriage to get to the point of pre-menopause. I know that is A LOT of information that some of you may wish they didn't know, but this one I'm throwing it all out there. Women with PCOS often struggle with their weight, they cannot loose for ANYTHING in them. Women with PCOS often struggle getting pregnant, and if they do get pregnant it is a fight from day one to keep that precious little once tucked so nice and cozy inside. IF you are one of the bless women with PCOS that made it through all of those hoops and actually have a healthy baby you will most likely struggle with milk production. I know women with PCOS who had not even one drop of milk come in to feed their baby. Baby may be latching and sucking like a pro and NOTHING is coming....<br />
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So for 17 months I was able to feel like a 'normal' person...to temporarily forget occasionally that I have something that can become very serious if not kept in check. While the pregnancy was not an easy one, and PCOS did play a role in how we proceeded with caution, I was still pregnant and that was a victory every single day I woke up bigger and bigger and HUGE! But while I was pumping milk and freezing milk I also could feel normal...like PCOS had not gotten a complete victory over me.<br />
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Enter January 4th, 2012. My last day to pump any milk for my girls...I had been clinging to pumping since September 19th. Handsome and I agreed back in August that I would pump until Cupcake was 6 months old, but then something amazing happened. Love Bug quickly entered into our lives and I knew she needed to get to 6 months also on breastmilk also. November/December were difficult on us though. The ugly PCOS monster was really starting to rear its nasty head for this Mama. I was not happy, I was not well, I was not friendly, I was not kind. I was not alive...and it was because I have PCOS. All the time I was trying to eat right for the babies and eat what was needed to make sure my milk was good for the girls it was slowly doing me harm. I thought it was slow, but Handsome will report that it was a sudden attack. One minute everything was good, the next minute PCOS had left only a disaster behind. It was sometime in mid-December that after praying and crying out to God I decided it would be healthier for all of my children and my relationships and my marriage if Mama came back and started kicking PCOS out again. So after a few calculations I knew with my milk I could get Love Bug to 6 months and Cupcake to a year on my milk...and then a very generous Patch Parent offering to give me some of her extra milk to keep Love Bug on breakmilk even longer....it was time. Time to go back on my healthy for ME diet. Now, I am getting all food groups and I am getting enough nutrients...but they are the right ones for a person with PCOS. My girls are still drinking my milk and I am not the monster I had become! <br />
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Did PCOS reclaim its place in my ability (or lack thereof) to become and stay pregnant? Only time will tell. But I can promise this one thing, PCOS is not taking my life. PCOS is not going to take my precious moments of happiness away from my time with Handsome and my children! I am going to win this victory once again! AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7353855042378791873.post-10529542666132534332012-02-01T21:48:00.000-07:002012-02-01T21:48:08.720-07:00Cupcake!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLiawOBclPBwGDuAEYEi4ssD5qF2mmgXlSEsHrX_wrtl8raVR4n7nZNiTzZS_Z5CwATJHQoEttvPdijXGts4v4trZzPFWhGVh9wN5lHfq50-1KNBjMjRjjJ5a8OrCORHOuppe2GXYurZMy/s1600/EMH12.3.11g.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290px" sda="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLiawOBclPBwGDuAEYEi4ssD5qF2mmgXlSEsHrX_wrtl8raVR4n7nZNiTzZS_Z5CwATJHQoEttvPdijXGts4v4trZzPFWhGVh9wN5lHfq50-1KNBjMjRjjJ5a8OrCORHOuppe2GXYurZMy/s320/EMH12.3.11g.jpg" width="320px" /></a></div>SO, my beautiful little 10 month old Cupcake decided to melt her Mama's heart tonight and say MAMA! Clear as a bell and more than once! <br />
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This is after mastering her fun little praying/clapping/army/inch worm crawl over the past week or so! <br />
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Oh, how does one decide to stop having babies in the house?!?!? How precious is this little one? Keep on melting Mama's heart baby!AJHhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14968469954352006212noreply@blogger.com0