Children are God's gift

Adoption/Birthday Party!

2012-01-30T10:53:00.000-07:00

So my Cupcake is turning one and we are going to finally get to finalize Love Bug's adoption! Cupcake doesn't turn one until March 19th, but Bug's adoption finalization is on March 9th so we are going to celebrate both in one big party! I have been having a difficult time trying to figure out how to combine the parties and yet include something special for both of them! On the way home from our wearhouse shopping trip last night Handsome and I finally got a moment to chat! I was telling him how I didn't like how the Cupcakes and Ladybug themes were not meshing as well as I would have liked them too and how I love this song called "Blessings" by Laura Story and how it would be fun to turn part of that song into the inspiration for the party. On both accounts (Cupcake and Love Bug) we spent much time in tearful prayer begging God to grow our family because we knew it was a desire He placed in our hearts! And Handsome (who is such an amazing man) said we should do a garden theme because there is a quote "What if Your blessings come through raindrops, what if Your healing comes through tears." He said that would work for a garden theme because of the tear drops from our prayers falling and watering the seed He placed in our hearts for a family. That has grown into why we are celebrating; celebrating two little precious lives that are forever in our family! SOOOOO, we are going to do a garden themed party in pale pink, white, green and we will use red and black lady bugs for accents!

I am really excited about it, finally, something that is okay in my mind to fuse two parties into one! Love bug will have her own cake that my wonderful Pastor's wife will make and Cupcake will have, wait for it, CUPCAKES! I am not sure if I am going to try and make them myself or if I am going to have someone else do it...but either way, there will be cupcakes! But the fact that we can use a song that is very meaningful to me is huge too! Thank you to everyone that gave input while I was trying to find the 'perfect' party idea! It will be fun to start putting it together now! I will leave you with the lyrics to Laura Story's "Blessings" :

We pray for blessings

We pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for Your mighty hand to ease our suffering

All the while, You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

We pray for wisdom

Your voice to hear

And we cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

All the while, You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

And what if trials of this life are Your mercies in disguise

When friends betray us

When darkness seems to win

We know that pain reminds this heart

That this is not, this is not our home

It's not our home

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears

And what if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You’re near

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

Are Your mercies in disguise

7 Years

2012-01-20T14:54:00.000-07:00

(This ultrasound picture is of our Cupcake, as I never got the opportunity to see our first four)

I remember thinking on Handsome and my 7th anniversary that it just was not possible that we had been married that long. What had I ever done for 7 years of my life??? The only thing I could come up with was play the clarinet! Well now today I look at the 7 year 'anniversary' of our third baby going to heaven and I think to myself, 'it seems like an eternity ago!' Someone commented on a populare social networking site today after I had posted of what the day was, they were glad that we celebrate the day and the life we had for such a short time! I had not really ever thought of celebrating before...I almost always am sad or quiet on our 'remembering' dates of our 4 precious babies in heaven! But truly, a celebration is what it should be! Life starts at conception and none of us really know the number of days we will live on this earth...God does not guarantee us 90 happy, healthy years....He doesn't even say that 'once you become pregnant you WILL have a baby in 40 weeks.' That is not God's promise. From this day forward I will try to celebrate the life that God blessed us with in each of our first four pregnancies. They are children created in God's image just like Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake and Love Bug. They are children that God blessed my husband with as he did with the P, S, C and LB! They are NOT children that must be grieved for 70 years, they must be celebrated. I have realized last year that having our first four children in heaven was, indeed, God's plan for our life...and that is ok. I also realized, with that, that had our first four children not left us so early in their little lives that we most likely would not have the children we do now. If we were able to get pregnant the first time around, give birth to a happy healthy baby, and go on our merry way I am not so sure we would have been as apt to walk the adoptive path. THAT IS NOT SAYING that we think it is less of a path to walk, just saying that most couples that go about expanding their family the 'normal' way are a lot less likely to think of adoption. HOWEVER, I have found myself thankful for our path...I do have 4 babies in heaven and because I know Jesus as my Saviour I will hold my babies in heaven on day. This I am sure of. Eternity is much longer than my short little 85ish years here...but I also now know that becaue of the start of our family having the ending it did, we now have four beautiful (and hopefully more) children that we can teach about Christ and hopefully one day they will accept him also and then for spend eternity as one big happy family!

Now I know I rambled and the flow of this post just isn't there (when do my post ever really flow?) but today I choose to try and celebrate the life God had blessed us with for the short weeks that this little one made this Mama feel so yucky. But that yuckiness always meant there was someone there...and I would take it 10 time over to know that God is blessing us with more precious littles!

January 3rd

2012-01-18T01:50:00.002-07:00

January 3rd, 2002

It was a very chilly morning in SouthWest Minnesota. Handsome and I had spent the night at his parents home ~in seperate rooms~ and we were getting up fairly early to hit the road. He was taking me back to Chicago for college and then continuing on to North Carolina, where he lived at the time. We had already said good-bye to my family and so we were loading up his green Bonneville and then ate breakfast with his parents and got in the car. As we pulled out of the driveway we turned left, not right like we were supposed to. He said he wanted to say good-bye to our 'special spot' which is a beautiful bridge over a stream in the midst of a curvy gravel road. The summer before we had sat there for hours talking about this and that and I do believe this is the place where we finally confessed our love towards eachother...though we already knew it was there!

As we get there he put the car in park and gave me a hand written note, it was lovely. The way it ended was something about the picture God had painted for his (Handsome's) life and asked me if I would help to complete that picture and become his wife! When I looked up he had the ring box open (it had its own light in it!) and of course I said YES!

This explained why his mom was crying so much when we left, because though we were a mile away from their house we did not return, we drove all the way to Chicago from Minnesota and I wasn't allowed to tell anyone until I returned to college...sneaky guy! Of course both our parents already knew it was going to happen because in the gentleman like way that he has always been he asked my Dad's permission to marry me.

But how exciting it is to think that on January 3rd. 2012 I was promised and committed to my husband for 10 years! We had an interesting relationship, maybe even weird by today's standards, in that once we started dating we really only saw eachother face to face 5 times before we dates, maybe six. We also never kissed until we said 'I Do' on our wedding day! Most of our dating relationship was over the phone while I was at college and he lived in the South. We got to know eachother very well that way.

I pray often that God keeps my children's future spouses pure in the way he kept us pure. What an amazing gift to be able to give to the person you just married and will spend the rest of your life with...but on the other side, think of all the baggage that each relationship brings into your life. I was once told that as you give pieces of your heart to people you never get them back. There are 'holes' in my heart where, unfortunately, I gave those pieces to two other guys. And it was those holes that caused the most trouble between my handsome and I in the early years of marriage. Now, of course, I don't give them second thoughts if I hear their names or see pictures of them....but I do believe that those pieces are gone forever, because if you truly love how do you intend to take it back? If you can take love back it wasn't really love to begin with!

January 3rd, 2002~ The day that I knew God had brought the man of my dreams into my life forever and for always! Or as one of our favorite artists says, "Forever and Ever, Amen!" I am still unsure why God thought I was so deserving to receive such an amazing, godly, man....but I am sure thankful EVERY single day that He saw fit to bring Handsome and myself together! Here is to 10 more amazing years!

Sunshine

2012-01-17T10:46:00.000-07:00

Our Sunshine turned 5 on December 27th, it is crazy to believe that the child I always think of as my baby is already 5. It has been so easy to keep him my baby because of his extra needs, but the truth of the matter is he really is no longer a baby!

That came full circle on December 30th when we officially confirmed that he is autistic. Not a word I like to use around him, but not a word we are afraid of either. We have wondered for some time if that was the case, and really, we wouldn't have needed a doctor to tell us this...but there really is nothing more we can do for him than we already are. Sure, we can always improve on things....but schedule schedule schedule is very important to him, always has been! Also his gluten free diet is a big thing to. But yet, I do not consider myself to be a parent to a special needs child. He is not terribly high on the spectrum, but he is high enough that as we have slowly told friends and family they were not shocked to hear the news.

In other news, he is in love with beyblades. Sort of a modern day top, if you will. He REALLY like potatos of any form and likes that more and more foods are coming out gluten free! He takes every chance he can get to do fun things with Daddy or snuggle with Mommy. He is also such a sweet, loving big brother to his baby sisters! He is small for his age, only weighing in around 36 lbs and wearing sz 4 clothing (shirt are too big for him!) We have been working on hitting this 40 lb mark for a couple of years now....but in his time! The child eats like a horse but he doesn't EVER stop moving either. He will sit still if you give him something to keep his hands busy. Some of my favorites about him right now are his tender heart towards the feelings of others, his sweet snuggles, his beautiful blue eyes and last but NOT least, HIS GIGGLES! What a precious addition to our family....he really is a ray of Sunshine!

Some happenings....

2012-01-16T13:23:00.000-07:00

First with Miss Cupcake...she will be 10 months on Thursday and has no teeth! She finally decided that scooting might be a good way to get things as of last night. It was a very sad and pathetic attempt and scooting 18 inches to get her bottle, but she did accomplish about 10 of the inches by way of scooting and then decided it was easier to turn and roll! She is such a stinker sometimes! Though almost always a very good natured baby! She has moved up to size 6 month or 6-9 month clothes (mostly because baby sister pushed her out of the 3 month ones!) and just moved into size 3 diapers. What an adorable blessing she is to our family!

(The first picture was from early December, she went through a phase where her mouth was almost always open and yet made hardly any sound! The second picture was from our trip to the middle of our state to meet with our case worker for our monthly home study and she needed a bath, so she decided just to chill out in the hotel sink for a while!)

And now for Miss Love Bug! She will be 5 months one week from today. Hard to believe my baby is getting so old for how tiny she still is. As of today she has started solid foods...she started with squash and seems to like to very well. She attacks the spoon as it comes toward her mouth, which makes me think I should have started sooner. Either way, she is enjoying it! There are still some Newborn sized outfits she is wearing but she has mostly moved up to the 3 month or 0-3 month sizes. She is still rocking size 1 diapers though (they pretty much go up to her arm pits, but Newborn diapers just do not hold enough!) She is starting to grasp at things and bring toys to her mouth, she also is very quick to smile with her entire face and go back to her worried, serious look. At times you can really get her going and she will make sweet little baby noises for you! So thankful she is doing so well! On 12.30.11 she was 9 lbs 11 oz, so not yet 10 lbs! What an honor it is to be her Mommy!

(Both pictures are taken on random days in December while we were just haning out together!)

Ideal Protein after Cupcake...

2012-01-07T11:02:00.000-07:00

So I started my Ideal Protein diet on 1.5.12 after having my baby, and pumping for 9.5 months I NEED to get back to loosing! Of course I have several goals to meet...my first weight goal is 1 lb further than I got before Cupcake came along! I have a LONG ways to go...I actually when I started my diet had 9 lbs to loose to get back to my lowest I was after having Emi! If I reach that goal...49 lbs lost from 1.5.12, I would like to loose 35 more lbs after that. For a total of 84 lbs lost! HOWEVER, I do not intend on reaching the second goal...maybe not even the first goal because my biggest goal is to be able to have another beautiful baby! We will see which of these goals happens and in what order! Haaha, here we go! I would say loosing 3.5 lbs in the first 2 days is off to a good start!

It will bring tears, I PROMISE!

2011-12-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

8 Years

2011-12-14T08:29:00.000-07:00

8 Years ago today started like any other day, though there was a question in the back of my mind for several weeks already. A question that was answered with bad news. Handsome was an Associate Pastor at the time and it was a Saturday. We went to church like many other Saturdays and were going to be there when a mission group arrived, they were also going to be presenting our church's Christmas program the next day! That mission group had car trouble or a snow storm or something that didn't allow them to make it. So, our little church family pulled together that Saturday afternoon/evening to bring a Christmas program for the church people the next day! As we worked I started feeling pretty tough, but didn't want to back out of my duties so tried to write it off. That question keep playing in my mind, "Am I pregnant?" "Are we going to be starting our family?" As the afternoon rolled on, the cramping got worse and worse and I actually got physically sick. Somewhere around 8:30 that evening I excused myself and went to the bathroom...where I met our baby. Now he or she was too small to know that I had just met our precious little bundle...but blood tests later confirmed that I had been expecting and that he or she had been promoted to Heaven. I remember being sad to learn this news, but at the same time I remember thinking something along the lines of 'it is common for couples to experience miscarriage the first time around.' I did greive our first, but not as much as our second, third or fourth. I did not fully understand what road we were starting down. Since I was about 14 I was told I would not have children. But this time around there was comfort in the fact that we were indeed able to become pregnant...

Well, at that point I was 20 years old. That also began a rough battle with finding God's path for our family growth. Little did I know that just 3 years later we would become parents to our Princess whom was carrying and born from another lady...not me.

Amazing enough, God did allow us to become pregnant a second, third, fourth, and fifth time. As you know the last pregnancy was the only baby we have been able to meet on this side of Heaven! However! We have hope! Both Handsome and myself have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour, we know that one day when our life on earth is over that we will spend eternity in Heaven...where we will meet our first four children!

Time can heal many things, though I do not believe that time can heal a mother's greiving heart. Sure, time will allow the pain of the loss of a child to be less of a sting...but the only real cure for the greif of a lost child is the Love of Christ!

At this time of year it is easy for many to put on their Christian caps and walk around proclaiming what God has done for us. But it is this time of year that we celebrate the LIFE of Christ, He was born as a baby. Many forget about the fact that he also died for our sins, and rose again!

I have gotten to the point that I am thankful that God brought us through the difficult path. My living children do not take the place of my children that have passed, but without the miscarriages I am fairly certain that I would not have Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake or Love Bug!

I do wonder what it would be like had this pregnancy that ended so early 8 years ago been successful...what different dynamic it would have brought to our life. But it was not God's plan at the time. I look forward to knowing that one day I will spend eternity with my precious babies.

Makes you think!

2011-12-07T12:13:00.000-07:00

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher

Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico

One was headin' for vacation, one for higher education

And two of them were searchin' for lost souls

That driver never saw the stop sign

And 18 wheelers can't stop on a dime

There were three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them Heaven only knows

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest, a home and 80 acres

The faith and love for growin' things in his young sons heart

And that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children

Did her best to give 'em all a better start

And that preacher whispered, "Can you see the promised land?"

As he lay his blood stained Bible in that hookers hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them Heaven only knows

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

That's the story that our Preacher told last Sunday

As he held that blood stained Bible up for all of us to see

He said, "Bless the farmer and the teacher and the preacher

who gave this Bible to my momma who read it to me."

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them now I guess we know

It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

So, my husband and I really enjoy Randy Travis songs...especially "Forever and Ever Amen". We were fortunate enough to go to one of his concerts when he was in town a few years ago and what a blessing it was! One of my favorite date nights with Handsome! This morning when I was in the shower, "Three Wooden Crosses" came on my iPod and as I was singing the words really stabbed me in the heart! How often do we over look the "least of these" in this world? That pastors heart was in the right place as he lay there in his last few moments he was still thinking about eternity and making sure others knew about Jesus! Think of how many people his last few moments impacted simply because he cared enough for that lady that many others probably snubbed because of her 'job!' But he has enough compassion in his heart to share Jesus with her, she went on to teach her son about Christ -who then became a Preacher who's word was heart by many!

I know that I cam guilty of looking past some people at times because I am too busy or because I am wrapped up in my own life...but I pray that I can change that around here. It will take steps because, lets face it...I am kind of busy right now...but that doesn't mean I cannot share my Jesus with others when given the chance!

This song, silly as it may seem, literally brought tears to my eyes this morning and made me think of how much I appreciate our Pastor who does not over look others...he has a heart for everyone and wants everyone to hear about Jesus! Thank you to him and his wife for sharing their lives and hearts with our little town!

"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ "

Matthew 25:40 ESV

Sunshine

2011-11-20T11:40:00.000-07:00

So when getting Sunshine dressed today a pair of pants he has had on recently seemed a little short to me, so we measured him on the wall where we 'keep track' of our kids' growth only to find out that he has grown almost an inch since October 7th! That explains why the child is eating like a horse! But before I told him how big he was getting he told me how he knew he was getting bigger, 'and you know why Mommy?' as he lifts his pant leg and says, 'because look how much hair I have on my legs!' Haaahaa, that cracks me up! I asked him if that means he is getting big and he said yes...and then I asked him who said that hair on your legs meant you were getting big...'Um, I don't know, I just figured that is what it meant!'

Life stays interesting with the four kids God has blessed us with, that is for sure!

One Year Ago Today....

2011-11-17T08:50:00.001-07:00

Last Year on November 17th, we had a VERY exciting day!

↑↑↑↑↑

The above crazy lady was doing dances in my belly...as we watched her on the big screen while we discover she was a SHE! I still remember right after the ultrasound tech. said "it's a GIRL" the first thing I did was look at Princess' face to see what she thought! She was thrilled and her eyes were all big and her smile was HUGE! I then, of course, looked to Handsome and he was excited and then Sunshine...he had a very sad face! What a difference a year will make! Cupcake started off this 'special' day with a bang...we ended up having to give an early morning bath and start a load of laundry with her crib sheets, PJ's, and blankets because she had waited a few days to mess her pants! I cannot imagine being more blessed. Cupcake has been a wild spirit but at the same time a very easy baby! God has blessed us richly! I am thankful for that!

Click HERE for my post from November 17th, 2010!!!

7 Months 19 days....

2011-11-06T05:15:00.001-07:00

7 Month 19 Days:
The amount of time that passed from when Mama found out she was pregnant with you until the time she was able to hold you in her arms...August 1st was a Sunday and I took the test that morning as we were rushing around getting ready for church. I used the 'guest' room rather than the master because Daddy was taking a shower and I remember running up to him with the test in hand and just showing him because I had no words...nothing, I had no idea what to say! I was excited and shocked. You see Mama had been told by several doctors that I was no longer able to have children because I was no longer ovulating....so how could I be pregnant. It was one of the plain tests that just used lines. So we decided that after church I would run pick up a digital one...in less than 30 seconds that one showed the beautiful word "Pregnant"! But my excitement soon turned to fear....what if this little one joins her 4 siblings in heaven? What if this ends in another miscarriage and another one of my babies I have to wait to meet until after my life on earth is over? Praise the Lord that wasn't the case!

Today is November 6th, you are now officially 7 months and 19 days old. While I know you exsisted inside of me for several weeks before I knew you were there....it is something to me that you have been in my arms as long as I knew you were inside of me! There are times I wish I could feel your kick just one more time....but most of the time I am so excited that you are here and not inside any more! You see my saying all throughout my pregnancy was, "I am just ready to meet her, I know how to care for and love a baby once they are born...but this pregnancy stuff I am unfamiliar with!"

I know the 7 months and 19 days has gone my much quicker since you have been more than the time before!

Thank you Lord, for sending us our healthy and precious Cupcake!

Baby Smiles and Loose Teeth

2011-10-06T21:15:00.000-06:00

Love Bug just smiled at ME! She has already smiled at Handsome (lots) and at Princess (lots) but she had not smiled at Mama yet....but she did! That makes me happy! Thanks Bug!

Princess and Sunshine went to the 'tooth doctor' today and when they arrived home The Princess ran in the door and said very exitedly, "Mama, my teeth are started to get loosed!" I asked if she could repeat and this time she said the very same thing while pointing and one of her large front teeth on top and said after, "it is a little wiggly, that means it is going to come out soon!" I officially have to embrace the fact that while I do have two babies....Princess and Sunshine are no longer even close to being babies. I have reached a new level of parenthood, actually I am pretty sure it happened a while ago; I just have tried very hard not to notice!

6 weeks and Newborn Diapers!

2011-10-04T09:36:00.000-06:00

Today our little one is 6 weeks old, I do not know how time flies so quickly! She is much more alert than she was even a week ago and the withdrawals are starting to get better! She even sleeps through the night sometimes! She is starting to make little 'chatty' sounds once in a while and as of today....we have outgrown the Preemie sized diapers and have officially moved into the Newborn sized diapers!

Last Friday she was 7 lbs 2 oz....keep growing little Love Bug!

1,116 Days

2011-10-02T01:12:00.000-06:00

That is the number of days from the time we knew God was calling us to grow our family through adoption for a third time until our little Love Bug was born!

Or 3 years, 3 weeks, and 1 day! It is amazing to me to hear God's call and see Him work it out according to His plan and His time!

5 years and 5 days ago Handsome and I still had an empty house and were crying out to God to grow our family by adding a baby. A real, living child. Our Princess is 5 years and 4 days old, we had no idea she was coming until the day before she was born! Three months later the phone rings and our social worker wanted me at the hospital in 15 minutes to bring a baby home...that baby was our son, Sunshine! His adoption finalized on August 1st, 2008 and since August 2nd of that year we knew God wanted us to adopt at least one more time! There were many times it didn't seem possible, finanacially to undergo adoption again. But God had a plan, obviously! Last summer after a terrible situation with infant twin foster girls we knew it was time to start the adoption process and that God would lead us through. So we started, a month and a half later for some UNKNOWN reason I had the urge to buy a pregnancy test and it was positive...me, the one who wasn't suppose to ever ovulate again! We figured that the pregnancy would not be maintainable and our 5th precious angel would be going to Jesus' safe arms before we could meet him/her. We were wrong, our Cupcake would not go to be with her 4 sibilings in heaven, she would join our family via C-section on March 19th of this year. An now, our Love Bug was born on August 23rd...5 months and 4 days behind our Cupcake! As you can see in the above picture this Mama couldn't be happier!

Handsome and I were talking today, while life isn't full of tons of fun at the moment...it is a lot of rather hard work...it is a life we would not trade for anything! Princess is 5 years and 4 days....Sunshine is 4 days short of 3 months from turning 5. Cupcake is 28 weeks old and Love Bug is almost 6 weeks old already! God had a plan for us and even though we couldn't imagine adding to our family RIGHT.NOW, we do pray that God is not finished with our family. We would love to be blessed with another miracle as we both feel our family is not yet complete. God may have different plans, but for now I am enjoying the late nights (like tonight when Love Bug wants to smile and have eye contact with Mama) and all the diapers, meals, hours on the breast pump to provide all the milk for both babies, and everything that goes along with being a Mama to 2 preschoolers and 2 babies. I couldn't do it without my amazing Handsome, and with God's strength and guidance. His plan is amazing! You may say we are insane, but in reality we are just doing what we feel God lead us to do. We are blessed and forever thankful!

Praise the Lord!

Sincerely ~ Our Crew,

Handsome, Mama, Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake & Love Bug

Out of the Mouths of Babes!

2011-05-04T16:24:00.000-06:00

So we have been talking with Princess and Sunshine about salvation and what it means to be saved. We have been reading verses like the Romans road and answering many MANY questions they have about asking Jesus into your heart and the difference between heaven and hell. Their minds are constantly amazing me in how much they are soaking up these days!

Well after the normal round of "Jesus Loves Me" while Princess, Sunshine and the other Pumpkins were waiting for me to finish getting their plates loaded up at lunch today my two started talking about heaven and hell. Princess all of a sudden says, "when I am in hell Jesus will save me if I ask him into my heart." It was yet another opportunity to explain that if we find ourselves in hell it is too late to ask Jesus to save us. She asked me if I was going to go to heaven or hell when I died and I proudly told her that because I trust Jesus Christ as my personal Savior that I know there is a home for me in heaven when I die, and that is very exciting!

After a few more minutes my son says, "Mommy, do you think it would be okay if I talk to Daddy more about this at bedtime tonight because I have so many questions and he knows a lot about the Bible without even having to look it up; sometimes Mommy when I ask you, you have to get your Bible and read it before you answer me!" It is true, Handsome and I are a good team that way! Except it isn't that I have to look up the verses, it is the references. But the secret is that I remember the verses and Handsome remembers the references!

Anyway, it just makes my heart smile to know that they are starting to ask many MANY questions about salvation and we pray that one day in the future our children will ask Jesus into their hearts!

I am VERY thankful for such a godly husband that does such a good job explaining these very important things to my children!

Family of 5!

2011-05-03T18:44:00.000-06:00

All these pictures are from when Cupcake was 2 weeks old!

Happy 1 Week Birthday Cupcake!

2011-03-26T17:19:00.000-06:00

Last week at this very time I was laying on an operating table as my beautiful Cupcake was being welcomed into the world! The birth story will come soon, I just have not been able to bring the emotions together to write it yet!

This week has been one of the most amazing weeks of my life. I love my Princess and my Sunshine, but there is something about having an instant bond with a baby...the kind of bond that just being in my arms sooths her...just gazing into my eyes calms her...and just simply being enough for her makes her happy! Now those things came eventually with Princess and Sunshine, but with Cupcake the minute Handsome placed her in my arms that was all there already! I have shed many tears this week over what an amazing gift it has been to experience pregnancy and now having her here is even more amazing!

Happy one week birthday Cupcake, Mama and Daddy love you so very much ~ you are our miracle baby!

Letter for Cupcake~

2011-03-18T03:25:00.000-06:00

My Precious Cupcake, Mama doesn't really know what is all about to happen that will finally bring you into our world, but she is very excited to finally get to hold you in her arms. We do not know if today will be your birthday or tomorrow, but we do know there are a great number of wonderful people praying for you to join us safely! Your big brother and sister are very excited to meet you and I think they even have a gift for you when they do!

Sweetheart, you are a miracle. Mommy and Daddy were told many time that you would never be...we believed them! I think back to August 1st 2010, the day that wonderful test had the two lines and remember how much disbelief I was in! It was a Sunday morning before church and I couldn't even talk to tell your Daddy....all I could do was show him the test and he looked at it and asked what it meant! It was so hard to believe that after church Mama went to Walgreens in Grandpas convertable and bought a digital test so I could specifically read 'pregnant'! The next day I begged the receptionist at the doctor to see me right away and we did get in that day.

There have been scary points in the last 9 months, but alot of happiness and some disbelief! Mama even now is having a difficult time sitting here thinking about the fact that God is about to bring you into our world! We have been taking pictures of Mama's belly almost every Sunday since 15 weeks and you have made my belly VERY big! That is why the doctors decided to induce Mama two weeks early! But your Daddy and I think that this is right in time! I remember the first time I felt your tiny little flutter inside me, and have been in awe lately as you don't really kick but more just 'adjust' yourself while making my belly funny shape in the process!

Sweetheart, you are coming into a family that will love you more than you can ever imagine! We are a special family that God has pieced together in His own way and in His own time! I cannot wait to see if you look like Mama or if you look like Daddy. If you really have as chubby of cheeks as it looks like on the ultrasound! If you have hair or not and all those other things!

My precious baby girl, I do not know how long we have left until we get to hold you in our arms....but one thing is for sure....when that does happen we will NEVER let you go. Sweetest Cupcake....we are excited to welcome you into our world and looking forward to the days and weeks and years ahead with you!

With all my love,
Your Mama

Happy Birthday Cupcake!

Mama Thoughts

2011-03-17T09:22:00.000-06:00

Something has hit me over the past 12 hours that I wasn't ready for. Something that has brought tears to my eyes several times in that short time! Last night as we were having Princess and Sunshine say their verse and sing to Cupcake one last time before she is born and then we have bedtime prayers with them I couldn't keep my tears away! All these thoughts started running through my mind, thoughts that I had not even really considered before then. You see our children are leaving at noon today with our Pastor and family and will be with them until after Cupcake is born (hopefully sometime tomorrow if the induction goes well!) So the next time we will all be together we will be a family of fine. Something we are all very excited about, and I believe Princess and Sunshine are very excited too. But no one knows how bringing Cupcake into our home will effect our 4 year olds!

I am sure there will be a transition time where things will be less than lovely with attitudes and behaviors...but I am also sure that big brother and sister will love their baby sister VERY much! But as a Mama you start thinking about things like 'have I used my time with JUST them well enough' 'have I loved them enough that they know I will still love them even with a baby?' and things of that sort. They just started creeping into my head! We have had 'extra' kids around most of their lives through the Patch and also foster care, but all of those children end up going home at some point...they do not stick around! We are still a very spontaneous family...there are times when at the spur of the moment we decide to run out of the house to get ice cream for fun and with a baby you need to be a little more prepared than that. So things are going to change.

Anyway, just some thoughts on the day before my induction. The day my big kids will leave my home with people I fully trust to care for them, but the day that they will take a piece of my heart and a life that will no longer be the same with them only to return to an entirely different situation in a matter of 72ish hours. So I cry, I cry because I am so happy that we are so blessed. I cry because I am sad that their lives will change (though in a good way, they may not see it as good at first) and I cry because I am still pregnant and that is what pregnant ladies do!

But I want Princess and Sunshine to know how very much their Mama and Daddy love them...we love them today, we love them tomorrow, and we love them forever....and bringing Cupcake into our home isn't going to change that!

In God's Time

2011-03-16T05:36:00.000-06:00

A year ago right now my husband and I had just prayerfully committed to going on a missions trip that took place a month ago. We were also very seriously considering joining the Panama team and moving down there to work in an orphanage. We went to several meetings, chatted many times with dear friends and were part of some of the planning details.

Until May of 2010 when all of a sudden I got what I thought was cold feet. There was this tugging feeling saying, 'you cannot go on the mission trip in February 2011' and I continued to wrestle with that thought for some time thinking it was just me being scared to go! One day I mentioned to my Handsome to pray for me was I was battling this and that is when he informed me that he was having the same feeling. We started praying together and the more we prayed and trusted the more it seemed we should cancel our plans. We had no idea why and no reason to give when we did decide to cancel our plans, we just knew God was telling us it wasn't going to be okay to go!

Fast forward to now: what we didn't know then is that God was blessing us beyond what we could have imagined with our little Cupcake and after a somewhat risky pregnancy there is no way I was going to be able to go on a mission trip at 8 months pregnant! Who would have ever guessed that was going to be the reason why!

As I sit here this morning thinking about God's plan and how we have been on pins and needles for so much of our married life waiting for God's path to be open to us it amazes me! You sometimes wonder, 'why could He just not have shared this information with us so we didn't look so unstable backing out of a mission trip for no reason?' and other things like that. Well, honestly, if we knew everything we wouldn't need to trust Him for those life details and we might try to make our own plan. Now obviously in our case we would have still welcomed Cupcake into our lives because we love being parents and have desired more children since Sunshine's adoption was finalized...we just knew our family was not complete. But in other cases there were times that we would have chosen to go a different route with knowing what was coming, but that doesn't do us any good because God's plan is always the best and even when it is a trial we need to go through you learn from those and lean on God to get you through them. The tough stuff in life can make you or break you. Without God and being by Handsome's side I would have never become the person I am today and probably would have stopped a long time ago!

But now I think of the news we received yesterday, Friday we will be induced and should be meeting our Cupcake! I know that many are excited for us and there are some that think it isn't the natural way to go and that we should just let God work and she will come when He is ready for her. But with the troubles that we had in the past with pregnancy and the new issues that popped up over the last few weeks how can we not say this was God's plan all along. He knows how long Cupcake has been growing in my belly and He knows if she is going to be okay or not. He also know that with the high blood pressure as of late and the very high fluid level it may not be as safe for her to stick around for another 2-3 weeks. We are trusting God that He knows what is best. We are excited to finally get to meet her, and we believe that when it comes to having babies God does give us doctors to help us through that.

God always has a plan, I have been impatient for the past oh 4 months or so, but His plan is best. Would we still love to one day go on a mission trip, we sure would! Would we still love to continue to grow our family? Of course, but in God's time! Obviously there isn't much we can do to change His plans...we tried very hard and put a lot of money into tryint to have a biological child several years ago and that wonderful doctor couldn't even 'help' me ovulate and then one month shy of 4 years later all of a sudden we end up expecting on our own! God's time! And lets not forget to mention that we desired to turn around in the Fall of 2008 and contract with our amazing adoption agency right after finalizing Sunshine's adoption but for some reason it just couldn't come together. God opened all the doors and helped us contract this year...just one month before we found out about Cupcake. Once again I know many people think we should have backed off on the adoption through the pregnancy....but it was God's time. Our Texas baby may be a year away....or he/she may decide to come in the next few months....we do not know, but God does! In His Time!

If there is anything the last year has taught me, it is that even when it seems you are doing the right thing and God gives a little tug on your heart that says, 'wait a minute, lets talk about this' there is always a good reason! Now I just need to work on my patience....but that is going to take a while because I have been trying for years!

In God's Time!

Frozen Hot Chocolate

2011-03-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

We just tried this tonight and it wasn't bad (and I don't really LOVE chocolate!)

Frozen Hot Chocolate

*3 ounces chocolate (I used Hersey's bars!)
*2 teaspoons store bought hot chocolate mix
*1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
*1 1/2 cups milk
*3 cups
*whipped cream, for garnish
*Chocolate shavings, for garnish

Chop the chocolate into small pieces and melt in a small heavy saucepan or in the top of a double boiler over simmering water. Stir occasionally until melted. Add the hot chocolate mix and sugar, stirring constantly until blended.

Remove from heat and slowly add 1/2 cup of the milk, stirring until smooth. Cool to room temperature.

In a blender, place the remaining 1 cup of milk, the chocolate mixture, and the ice. Blend on high speed until smooth. Pour into a giant goblet and top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings!

Seriously...a must try!

Sorry

2011-03-04T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have been alittle low in the posting lately, partly because I don't know what to post about and partly because when is on my mind Handsome thinks I talk too much about these days. Well, how is one supposed to NOT think about the fact that a baby is about to be born from my belly and that was NEVER supposed to happen.

There are people upset with us because we are still trying to adopt even in the middle of pregnancy of a miracle baby. That is fine, we will do what we believe God has lead us to do in His time. AND, as it turns out, unless something pretty amazing happens we will be having Cupcake shortly and still are not matched. So the adoption will happen after Cupcake anyway. Sorry, this has been on my mind for a while. To me the excitement of looking at welcoming Cupcake into our lives soon (hopefully) and looking at welcoming our Texas baby into our live sometime in the future are both equal. They will both be blessings God has choosen for our family.

Cupcake will not be more to us than Princess, Sunshine, or Texas baby. They all are members of our family that God Himself pieced together in His own way and time! I could not imagine my life without Princess or Sunshine. I am sure it will be the same for Cupcake and Texas baby. Our family is unique but what an amazing story it is! I do not know how someone could hear our story of how we became a family of four, soon to be five, and then six after that and not see God's amazing grace in the story!

How many people go through 4 miscarriages to go on to adopt two children 3 months apart in age, then have their young body go into menopause to just when God leads the couple to start the adoption process a third time find out that the body that stopped working 5 years ago had all of a sudden started working and now are close to delivering a baby! Seriously...AMAZING!

I am thankful for my amazing husband.
I am thankful that we agree that a family does not need to have the same blood in their veins in order to be a family.
I am thankful that we also agree that a family doesn't mean the 1.5 kids and a dog that is our national average!
I am thankful that we have the children we do have and that he isn't ready to say our family is complete!
I am thankful for the people in our lives that are not calling us crazy but standing beside us and saying, 'it may not be for us but it is amazing for you!'

God is good....and yes, pregnancy and children are pretty much on my mind 23/7 these days. I am a mom, I am pregnant, we are looking at adoption again, and I am a daycare provider...pretty much all has to do with children....how could that not be what is on my mind?!?!?

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thankful Thursday ~ 2.24.11

2011-02-24T09:09:00.000-07:00

You are probably getting tired of hearing about how amazing my husband is by now. But really, I do not know how we would have made it through this pregnancy without his amazingness!

He is so caring and loving and protective of myself and our little Cupcake! We found out yesterday that I am starting to dialate just a little and that I needed to 'chill out' so he is checking up on me and once again has taken over all household responsibilities. I basically just run my daycare during the day and rest in the evenings. Though for how often I get up I am seriously considering going to bed right after work and doing the up and down thing until morning! Haaha!

He is making sure with the melting snow and then freezing ice that I do not walk without a good grip on his arm and making sure I am eating well to provide enough nutrition for Cupcake. Tonight even though he has been busy every night this week instead of relaxing he will be hanging up the wall decor for the nursery because this pregnant lady cannot dream of bringing a baby home to an 'unfinished' nursery (and my parents are coming this weekend {as long as they can get through the snow} and I would really like to show off the mostly completed nursery to them!

Anyway, I am thankful for the amazing husband that God has blessed me with. I do not know why I was so fortunate to be the woman to marry this man....but seriously, I don't deserve how amazing he is.

I love you Handsome...you are the most AMAZING husband and AWESOME daddy anyone could ask for!

People Around

2011-02-22T14:09:00.000-07:00

Today I have been thinking a lot about the people around my life. When we have been through different adoption/foster care trainings we have been told to make a dot (that was me) make a small circle around the dot (immediate family) make a larger circle around that one (close friends, non immediate family) and to start making little circles that interact with each of the other circles.

A person can quickly have a very messy, busy page! I look at the fact that we have been in 6 churches officially since we have been married (not counting the ones that Handsome just preached in and we met wonderful people there too!) But also friends through family or business or adoption or foster care or the list goes on and on!

As you look at your social network how many friends do you have? Does that even begin to touch the number of people in your life? Mine doesn't, I used to have close to 600 friends on there but have since realized I would rather just keep in touch with those that are not 'negactive connections.' So have cut it down a great deal.

But still, I have 2 parents a married brother, 5 Aunts & Uncles, 12 cousins (7 of whom are married w/17 total children), Elementary & High School Classmates, church friends from back in the day, College friends, Opera House friends, friends of the family...etc etc etc. The list could go on and on.

So where is this going? Well, I have been thinking about how terrible it is that we do not connect with people more...with all the latest and greatest technology it should be easy to keep in touch with as many people as you would like. I look at pictures of family and friends often and rarely comment. (Though lately it has been in the middle of the night when my mind is not exactly clear so who knows what the comment would say!) BUT, still, why should we go so long in between 'coversations' with people. I am thinking specifically of my cousins and their famlies right now....I have a picture in my 5 picture rom on FB of my cousins on my Dad's side and myself at our Grandpa's gravesite. I look at it every day and wonder how they are all doing, yet I do not communicate with them often! Granted we range in age alot! My oldest cousin is probably around 45 and my youngest is 22 and with me being 28 there is a pretty good difference!

BUT, again, that shouldn't stop me from interacting with them!

I am going to try harder to stay in touch with family and friends! (Not my smartest time to decide this with a new baby coming soon and possible adoption this summer!) But I will try!

34/36 Weeks!

2011-02-19T01:47:00.002-07:00

14 weeks!

15 weeks!

16 weeks!

17 weeks!

18 weeks!

20 weeks!

22 weeks!

23 weeks!

24 weeks!

25 weeks!

28 weeks!

29 weeks!

30 weeks!

32 weeks!

33 weeks!

The weeks until we get to meet Cupcake are getting less and less! What an amazing thought to have! The weeks listed under the pictures coordinate with our April 2nd due date, but would could be 2 weeks farther along than that so that is why the post title says '34/36 weeks!' We are trying to be patient in waiting for her arrival, but it is getting more and more difficult! Just cannot wait to see our chubby little Cupcake!

Little Builder

2011-02-18T12:47:00.000-07:00

My Sunshine has been working very hard at figuring out how to build stable structures with his Lincoln.Logs for over a month now! This is by far not the most impressive piece he has built, but the one Mama finally woke up and took a picture of! As you can see he is very proud of himself for accomplishing what he does accomplish! One time he had a goal of using as many of the logs as he could in his building and he used most of them, another time he tried to build what he saw on the box and did a great job! So proud of my little Sunshine!

Hugs

2011-02-16T18:23:00.000-07:00

Some people think hugs are just something little...I think a hug is a huge encouragment and a way to share your love (whatever love it may be) with someone. You can tell someone you are concerned, you understand, you love them, you hurt for them, you celebrate with them, and many other things through a simple hug. Nothing has to be said, but a hug can say it all!

Our Pastor gives me a hug often and asks, "how are you doing/feeling"...do you know that really says something to me!?!?

A 'almost' family member that has been around our family since my dad was a little boy is this tiny little lady but she gives the most amazing hugs! Whenever we get 'home' and go to church in LB I always look forward to seeing Judy and getting caught up in the strong grip of her hugs! It amazes me how strong she is!

I get hugs from my little Pumpkins often, just tonight two sisters were going out the door and I asked if I could have a hug and before I knew it I was getting hugs from them and another little boy!

A friend of mine who has a 6 week old baby while she was still pregnant would hug me and wiggle and joke about how our babies were playing together!

My husband just last weekend, I was sitting on our bed crying because of some hurt that was caused by another person and while he didn't know what to say...Handsome came beside me and held me in a tight hug and let me cry. Sometimes you don't need words, you just need a hug!

Princess has taken to hugging my belly so Cupcake doesn't get left out!

The list can go on and on about what a hug can do. I will never forget some peoples hugs...my Grandma A used to pat me on the back every time she hugged me. My Grandpa D used to squeeze very tight while saying 'bye-bye now'at the same time. I will never forget how my little Pumpkin R squeezes my neck so hard when he wakes up I almost think I need to make a chiropractor appointment! Or Judy's hug...or how my cousin C hugged me on my wedding day and whispered 'you look beautiful'...I don't remember ever getting a hug from him before!

Hugs are amazing...and while I do not suggest just running up to random strangers and giving them a hug to boost their day, I do suggest maybe adding a hug here and there to friends and family that you love 'just because!'

Yes, I am thankful for HUGS!

Our Cupcake!

2011-02-16T08:45:00.000-07:00

We were able to have another look at Cupcake on Valentines day to see if she was still measuring ahead...she was! She is beautiful! We cannot wait to meet her!

The ultrasound tech. said she could see hair on her head and that she is 'plump!' I can clearly see she has chubby cheeks! So basically we could have a baby any time or we could have another month left to go! We are on pins and needles waiting to meet her!

Valentines Weekend pt 2

2011-02-15T01:27:00.000-07:00

We closed out the weekend playing Hi Ho Cherry-O and Candy Land! Our kids thought it was a beautiful way to do it, though the getting ready for bed when we were done wasn't the easiest of nights...but we had fun while it lastest!

Concentrate!

Cannot wait to see if we are a family of FIVE or SIX for Valentines 2012!

Valentines Weekend

2011-02-14T09:37:00.000-07:00

Pottery 2 Paint ~ Princess making a pizza plate!

Sunshine making a piggy bank!

Hard work on everyone's part!

She put red 'polk-E-dots' on top for pepperoni!

Sunshine thought his piggie needed glasses, so Handsome put some on...would have been a really cute pig without them!

Psalm 119:105 is their very first Sunday School memory verse!

Every Valentines weekend for the last 3 or maybe even 4 years we have had a 'family weekend.' We usually take the Friday before V-day off and get a hotel for two nights so we can swim and just have a fun family day! This year with me being SO pregnant I didn't want to sleep in a bed other than my own and really didn't feel like swimming so we just spent Saturday together as a family. We went to the local pottery store and the kids each picked a project...Daddy broke the rules by helping Sunshine way MORE than he was supposed to, but the kids had fun any way! We were given OliveGarden giftcards for Christmas so we used them for our lunch date and then we did a little shopping! It was a fun LONG day (we actually closed down the mall!)

While we are not huge on traditions, our kids are starting to remember certain things and that is fun to me! Valentines family weekend, I believe, will be sticking around for years to come!

Thankful Thursday

2011-02-10T03:25:00.000-07:00

*WARNING*

Some people may think I am a little crazy after reading post!

*WARNING*

Today I am thankful for a four letter word, one that has become rather 'dirty' in many of your minds, especially thins year. But to me it is so much more than just a four letter word! You also have to take into account where we live, this four letter word isn't such a curse around here, it is actually welcomed rather nicely around here! Know what I am talking about yet?

SNOW!!!!!!

I know, many of you have been hit hard this year but I look at snow as a way to start over; give the world a fresh start. It is always so beautiful the morning after a snow when you look out and see the sun shining like diamonds across the fresh, white snow! It is beautiful! You can also see all of natures tracks and what they have been up to over night. We have deer, squirls, bunnies, and even mountain lions around here and it is always fun to see their footprints. Though I must admit when I saw a mountain lions paw prints in the snow last year it kind of freaked me out a little...right through our back yard between the swing and the 'castle' climber. But other than the fresh start, snow also adds a little bit of brightness to the scene. In the winter when the trees are bare and brown, the grass is brown, the landscape is rather dreary....along comes beautiful bright white snow to liven things up a little!

The kids always get excited about it too....while they are not huge fans of playing in it for hours on end, they do enjoy it here and there for short periods of time!

But it also reminds me so much of something else that is rather ugly that was made clean! Our nasty sin is washed 'white as snow' through the blood of Jesus! He died on the cross for our sins so that all we need to do is accept Him and He will make us pure and give us a home in heaven one day! How amazing, think of all the terrible things we have done and imagine someone else remove those terrible things from our lives at the cost of their suffering! We do not even deserve it!

So I am thankful for snow, it is only here for a season (a rather long one) and then it will give way to the beauty that Spring brings with fresh grass, beautiful flowers, and adorable babies of all kinds! I am also excited that this year we will not only be seeing the baby birds and other animals but we will be seeing our very own baby! Cupcake!

What are you thankful for today?

"You Are MY Sunshine"

2011-02-09T03:39:00.002-07:00

When Princess and Sunshine were little tiny babies, I sang 'You Are My Sunshine' to them every morning when they first woke up. Over the years it has become 'Sunshine's Song' so much so that he heard it on my Patch blog the other day and said, "Mommy, it is MY song!" I think it is cute...we all know the words to the chorus, and maybe the first verse...but did you know there is A LOT more to this song?

You Are My Sunshine

My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

The other nite, dear,
As I lay sleeping
I dreamed I held you in my arms.
When I awoke, dear,
I was mistaken
And I hung my head and cried.

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

I'll always love you
And make you happy
If you will only say the same
But if you leave me
To love another
You'll regret it all some day;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

You told me once, dear
You really loved me
And no one else could come between
But now you've left me
And love another
You have shattered all my dreams;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Louisiana my Louisiana
the place where I was borne.
White fields of cotton
-- green fields clover,
the best fishing
and long tall corn;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away.

Crawfish gumbo and jambalaya
the biggest shrimp and sugar cane,
the finest oysters
and sweet strawberries
from Toledo Bend to New Orleans;

You are my sunshine,
My only sunshine.
You make me happy
When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away

When I first read the rest of the song I was bummed, because it is about two people that go different ways after being in love....how could that be a song I have 'given' to my son. But then as both are getting excited about being 5 next, they do grow up quickly and before we know it they will be married and not need us as much as they do now! So it can still apply! I love that my son and I have this special thing between us. He is my handsome little man, and his smile really does bring sunshine to my life!

Love you Sunshine!

My 'Funny' Little Issues

2011-02-08T04:30:00.000-07:00

So I have this thing, okay so I have lots of 'things. But this one in particular is how a smell can instantly bring me back to a certain event, place, time, thought, moment, memory....it can be days, months, or years ago.

But one 'thing' is how the smell of lavendar brings me back to when my little Princess was a baby. To me little girl babies should smell like lavendar ~ that just the way it should be! Any time I smell it I think of the week that her and I stayed in a small little apartment in her birth state many miles away from home and Daddy! I used lavendar soap and lotion on her from the beginning and now that smell brings me back to her tiny baby days!

So naturally, since Cupcake is a girl, my thought is that the very same scent should be used for her so I can remember them both as babies by smelling the beautiful purple scent! So much so that I had to buy a special body wash for myself to use at the hospital and shortly after we get home so that I will be brought back to the very first few days of her life! While we were shopping today I told Handsome my thoughts and expected him to think I was crazy (I already had some stocked up body wash and lotion packed in my hospital bag...but it wasn't sitting well with me!) He either didn't want to disagree with a pregnant lady or he really did think it was logical. He does know how scents bring me back and he knows what 'smell goods' he should stay away from because they bring me back to the other couple of guys I dated before him....not what a husband wants to do! So we spent 10 minutes in the body wash isle trying to find an adult lavendar body wash and there was only one. Not one I would have normally chosen because of the brang, but there was one....and we bought it! My next shopping trip I plan on parking it in the lotion isle to find a same scented lotion to use too!

Oh the craziness...and I cannot even blame this one on pregnancy!

Thanks Handsome for understanding!

Belly Button Song

2011-02-07T03:12:00.000-07:00

My kids have been soaking up all sorts of things lately, and have enjoyed 'silly songs with Larry' on Veggie Tales! Just Friday we were watching the "God Made You Special" one and they were all of a sudden cracking themselves up while I was making lunch! I had to peak on them without letting them know I was there to see what was up...it had gotten to the 2:59 part of this video and they were singing the 'UH UH' part and it literally had my kids laying on the floor laughing! I am thankful that my children still find such sweet and innocent things funny! I pray it stays that way for a while!

(you may want to pause the music player at the bottom of the blog)

32 weeks! (or 35...)

2011-02-05T03:10:00.000-07:00

We are officially at 32 weeks with the possibility of being up to 35 weeks along in our pregnancy. Each day that goes by makes it more and more difficult to wait any longer to meet our precious Cupcake, but I know God is in control and when He knows she is safe He will bring her 'birth'day! I cannot wait for that day, but in the mean time I am enjoying all of the pokes and bumps she is giving me on a regular basis!

Mommy, Daddy, Princess, and Sunshine are waiting for you Cupcake! We love you and cannot wait to meet you!

Churros

2011-02-04T14:08:00.003-07:00

Just ran across this and think it sounds good! Might have to try it sometime!
*EDIT*Just made them tonight and they are pretty good, at least I think so!*

Churros

Oil for frying
1 cup water
4 ounces butter
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all purpose flour
3 eggs

Prepare to fry the churros by heating 1 to 1 1/2 inches oil in a deep pan to 360 degrees F.

To make churro dough, heat water, butter and salt to rolling boil in 3-quart saucepan; stir in flour. Stir vigorously over low heat until mixture forms a ball, about 1 minute; remove from the heat. Beat eggs all at once; continue beating until smooth and then add to saucepan while stirring mixture.

Spoon mixture into a piping tube with large star tip. Squeeze 4-inch strips of dough into hot oil. Fry 3 or 4 strips at a time until golden brown, turning once, about 2 minutes on each side. Drain on paper towels.

My kids!

2011-02-02T09:00:00.000-07:00

I have to say, once again, that I LOVE being a mama! There are days that are trying and difficult, but at the end of the day when these two precious kiddos say their verses and share what is important to them that we pray about it just melts my heart every time! Or the best is when they are REALLY tired and do not really know what they are talking about and start saying stuff that doesn't make any sense!

While I have to admit 4 isn't my favorite year, it has been fun so far! Their minds, imagination, thoughts, hearts, playtime, and love for people and tasks is encouraging and amazing! I love listening to them play and talk to each other just to hear what is going on in their minds!

I have been blessed beyond measure with these two beautiful people....they are everything to my husband and myself!

February 2011

2011-02-01T04:26:00.003-07:00

Happy February!

*This month is the first of 3 that our daughter COULD be born (since we do not really know our due date!)
*This month Handsome and I will celebrate 8 1/2 years of married life!
*This month holds VALENTINES DAY (a big thing in my book!)
*This month will start off very cold, but we could also see some nice temps too!
*This month holds no negative memories for me!
*This month will be a good one!

Amazing!

2011-01-31T15:42:00.000-07:00

Who would have known that 8 1/2 years ago when Handsome and I said "I Do" that the best man in the world was officially unavailable because he was married to me!?!?!?

I have known he was amazing and wonderful all along, but this pregnancy has shown to me an entirely different level of amazing about my husband!

He takes over the Patch when I have appointments (should out to his bosses for letting him! Thanks!) He has taken over much of the house responsibilities and now officially the bathing of our children (I cannot hang over the tub any more!)

But yesterday he went about and beyond the call of amazing! I wokr up at 1:30 am with pains in the sides of my belly but did not want to wake him because I wasn't sure if there was a reason to. But a little before 6 am he heard me and asked what was up. He ended up making an early morning trip to the store for 7 up! I finally fell asleep while he was gone and when he returned home he got the kids ready for church and the 3 of them went - leaving me to rest...and I did! I slept until about 15 mintues before they arrived home - when I found an 'I Love You' card in which he thanked me for being willing to carry our daughter! Who does that!?!?!?

He made lunch and fed the kids, kept me hydrated through the day, and did other things that really were not his responsibility! He is Amazing!

Cupcake rewarded him at bed time by moving and kicking him ALOT! He hadn't felt her move for a while now....so that was fun!

What a blessing my Handsome is!

Exciting News!

2011-01-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had my 30 week appointment and it was all good! Her hearbeat was still strong in the 150's, bloodpressure was good, everything was good! And her is the most fun news, I am still measuring close to 3 weeks ahead! They are not officially changing my due date just 'warning' that she may be here a little earlier than planned. According to our due date of April 2nd, I am to turn 31 weeks tomorrow....BUT, if I am 3 weeks ahead of that she will be 34 weeks tomorrow! That means that in 3 weeks she would be considered full term! I have been wanting her to come on March 27th and for the last 12 weeks it was looking like she wasn't going to hold on that long, but now a February 27th baby could be real! We are excited that we are getting so close to the time that she can safely come into our world!

In case you are wondering why the 27th, while I do not believe in lucky numbers...27 is a good one for me. Princess was born on the 27th of her birth month, Sunshine was born 3 month later on the 27th of his birth month. That alone was good enough that 27 was a good number, however, Cupcake likely came about right around my 27th birthday and will be born while I am still 27....all the more reason that 27 is a good number! So February or March 27th would be my picks for a baby to be born...we will see if she cooperates!

Thankful Thursday

2011-01-27T08:28:00.000-07:00

Today (and every day) I am thankful for music. But one hymn in particular has been a blessing and encouragement lately!

It is an old Scandinavian hymn written by the "Fanny Crosby of Sweden," Karolina W. Sandell-Berg. Lina was born in Frvderyd on October 3rd, 1832, the daughter of Jonas Sandell, pastor of the village's Lutheran church. Though frail in body, she had a strong spirit, feasting on the artistic, literary, and religious influences of her home life.

But tragedy struck when she was twenty-six. Lina and her father were enjoying a boat trip on the east coast of Sweden mear Gothenburg when the ship suddenly lurched. Before her eyes, Rev. Sandell pitched overboard and drowned. Returning home alone, Lina began processing her grief trhough the Scriptures and expressing her faith in poetry. Fourteen poems were published that year, 1858, one of which is sung to this day: Children of the havenly Father / Safely in His bosom gather; / Mestling bird nor star in heaven / Such a refuge e'er was given.

Seven years later, her best-known hymn, "Day by Day," was published. In it, Lina spoke from personal experience about the daily strength the Lord provides for His struggling children: Day by day, and with each passing moment, / Strength I find, to meet my trials here; / Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment, / I've no cause for worry or for fear.

If you need strength for a particular trial, take this grand old hymn into the day with you, and claim some of the wonderful promises God has given:

* "The LORD is my strenth and song, and He has become my salvation" Exodus 15:2
* "As your days, so shall your strenth be" Deuteronomy 33:25
* "Do not sorrow, for the joy of the Lord is your strength" Nehemiah 8:10
* "God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble" Psalm 46:1
* "Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength" Isaiah 40:31
* "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness" II Corinthians 12:9
* "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" Philippians 4:13

"Day by Day"

Day by Day and with each passing moment,

Strength I find to meet my trials here.

Trusting in my Father's wise bestowment,

I've no cause for worry or for fear.

He whose heart is kind beyond all measure,

Give until each day what He deems best,

Lovingly, its part of pain and pleasure,

Mingling toil with peace and rest.

Ev'ry day the Lord Himself is near me

With a special mercy for each hour,

All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,

He whose name is Councelor and Pow'r.

The protection of His child and treasure,

Is a charge that on Himself He laid,

"As your days, your strength shall be in measure,"

This the pledge to me He made.

Help me then in ev'ry tribulation,

So to trust Your promises, O Lord.

That I lose not faith's sweet consolation,

Offered me within Your holy Word.

Help me, Lord, when toil and trouble meeting,

E'er to take, as from a Father's hand,

One by one, the days, the moments fleeting,

Till I reach the promised land.

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whome shall I be afraid? Psalm 27:1

With promises like this we have so much to be thankful for! "Ev'ry day the Lord Himself is near me / With a special mercy for each hour, / All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me, / He whose name is Councelor and Pow'r." Just one of my favorite parts of this hymn! The music is so beautiful too though! I am thankful that we have such a loving, faithful Lord to serve that is in control of each and every moment of the day!

What are you thankful for today?

*Information and exerpts about the author and her writing of this hymn came from "Then Sings My Soul" but Robert J. Morgan

Trials

2011-01-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

I was going to write a post about an ongoing trials that has been facing us since May of 2009, but have since decided that I do not want to be known for someone that complains whenever something doesn't go according to planned!

There are many things that have been on my mind about how people can get cranky and crabby and take all their frustration out on internet and technology. Have you ever sat down and read someone's 'status' updates from the last month or more? What do your 'status' updates relay about you? I have had my share of grumbling and complaining on FB, but have really tried to turn that around in the last year or so!

It is really unfortunate the way people use their FB account to manipulate people or talk down people without using names. I read a status yesterday from a schoolmate of mine who was asking people to at least tag her in their posts if they were going to 'smack talk' her so she could know about it then instead of hearing about it a month later.

What a coward of a person to talk bad about someone all over the internet and not use names! My husband taught about the tongue to our 6-11 year old Sunday School class on Sunday. How it is the most dangerous part of our body. You see the thing is that what is in your heart and mind will always come out. If you have wicked thoughts they will come out eventually. How do you use your tongue? How do you use your freedom to have access to writing whatever you want on the internet for hundreds/thousands of people to see (yes I do have friends that have thousands of FB 'friends') daily/hourly? Is it not right to be honorable? Do you think that it is really pleasing to people to selfishly bash people or talk them down just because it will momentarily make you feel better? Does it really make you feel better after all?

How often could some of the 'issues' be taken care of if we would truely communicate with people. Communication can come in many forms. I believe FB is a wonderful form of communication because you can be in touch with people when it is convenient for you and for them...but instantly at the same time. There are other forms of getting in touch with people too.

I have been trying and will continue to try and keep my 'paper trail' free from bashing others or just simply being cranky or grumpy consistantly. So if this is for no one else it is a reminder to myself that we need to be kind, be respectful, be loving, be friendly and many other positive things!

Thinking Back!

2011-01-25T09:19:00.000-07:00

We love where we live! There are so many fun places to go and beautiful things to see and most are free! One of our favorite places is the drive up the canyon where you can see a few waterfalls. This past summer we did that often, because there is also hiking that you can do too! Well this particular time we went with my mom and Handsome's parents. I remember feeling 'fat' that day and after looking at pictures thinking my belly was swollen and not being happy because of the hard work I was putting into getting healthy and in shape! Well looking back that swollen belly was working on growing the smallest little one that is now less than 10 weeks from entering our world! What a shock it is to look back at pictures from June & July 2010 now and say 'cute, my little belly was swollen due to Cupcake and I didn't even know!" But then when I looked at the pictures I was just discusted that I wasn't working hard enough or what have you.

God is good to us in so many ways! We have our Princess and Sunshine, we are expecting our Cupcake, and still waiting to hear news about our Texas baby! When the time is right God will allow the 'perfect' birth mommy to find our profile and pick us as her precious babies adoptive family. But we also are looking at 8 1/2 wonderful years togeter as a married couple. Meeting some of the greatest friends in the last year and all sorts of other amazing things! While there are many things that feel like they are falling apart, we feel solid as a family. Handsome, Mama, Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake, and Texas baby are a solid family that will be together and enjoy life every single day! That is a blessing!

Baby Belly to 30 weeks!

2011-01-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

14 weeks

15 weeks

16 weeks

17 weeks

20 weeks

21 weeks

22 weeks

23 weeks

24 weeks

25 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

30 weeks!

The Beauty

2011-01-21T15:00:00.000-07:00

I have to say that I am rather enjoying winter this year! In know, I know, all you Minnesota family and friends probably want to throw your frozen tomatos at me or something for saying that since your actual temps today were negative 20-30 degrees! But I work at home (a blessing) and have been excused from shoveling duty (thanks Cupcake!) and it has been beautiful. Now while we have had over 40 inches of snow, it usually melts in between our 6-12 inch falls! We are looking to get another system this weekend that should bring us something (they say 3-6, but I am guessing it will be more because it usually is!) good and this is fine by me. I have only had one snow day with work and that has been okay too!

This picture is from last February, we did have snow on the ground but the thick frost on EVERYTHING made it all beautiful! I am a crazy and would really have a difficult time moving somewhere where we would not get the chance to experience all four seasons. Fall is my favorite, but they all have their own beauty. God knew what He was doing when creating the seasons, He gave them to us to celebrate the beauty in each one!

I enjoy winter, I enjoy snow, and I enjoy the excitment of my own two children plus the Pumpkins with each time beautiful snow starts falling from the sky. What do you enjoy about winter?

Disclaimer~ However, if Cupcake decides to come in the middle of one of our no travel PERIOD 3 foot Spring snows I might have a different outlook....but that would only last a little while! 8-)

Thankful Thursday

2011-01-20T07:41:00.000-07:00

I have been having a difficult time this week trying to decide just what I was going to write about today. We all have SOOOO many things to be thankful for and it is difficult to pick just ONE! But I think that I am going to be thankful for Facebook this week!

I know this is crazy, I do not always love FB and there are times I do not even like it. But there are a handful of ladies I do not live close to that FB helps me stay in touch with! What a blessing to be in immediate contact with a friend from Washington State that I (up until last month) hadn't seen since college to hear her good news, and trust me she has had some GREAT news over the past few months! Or another friend from the other side of the state who is a Mama to one little girl and expecting her second that is very godly and always an encourager! I also know she will be finding out big news on the 10th of February and sweet little FB will help to get that news out! It also is how 2 of the 3 wonderful ladies that did fundraisers for our adoption found out that we were adopting again and in need of financial help! Or just simply some of my good friends from college/the past that are spread through the country! New York, Indiana, Missouri...etc. etc.!

There are also family members that do not live anywhere close to me, yet I am able to 'shoot them a note' as quickly as I want to just because! Or when you have cousins serving overseas (or friends) and you can stay in touch with them and keep up with them to know they are safe and sound!

FB was also a great encouragement while I was on my diet, I was open about my weight and it was a great place to be accountable.

Now, I know that there have not always been the best of outcomes through FB....but I have learned you do not have to have the most friends on FB but have the friends that matter! It was a big lesson to learn! But when people are only being cruel and critical they are really not 'friends'!

So today I am thankful for the technology that FB is! I am thankful for a place to go and see friends with encouraging scriptures or quotes on their status, or being able to just stay in touch! I enjoy being able to stay in touch via FB!

Milk

2011-01-19T15:44:00.000-07:00

Milk ~ liquid gold (though gas is becoming more of liquid gold) ~ but I have always thought of milk as such. I love milk, I grew up on a farm and we were never without milk! Going away to college I didn't have as much milk as I did growing up at home and that was a problem for me, but it helped set the pace for married life without a ton of money. When we first got married we literally lived paycheck to paycheck and didn't usually have alot left over. So we would buy milk because it is important to the body, but we only were allowed some on our cereal (if we had cereal) and a glass at the evening meal. None of this ~ drink all you want ~ stuff!

Then kids entered the picture, and while I do not let my children drink all the milk they want, it is important to their growing bodies too...so we started having a little more around. Now I have a daycare and so we have a little more than that around. Until Sunday.

Being in my 3rd trimester I have not exactly had the most ambission in the world and when my day at the Patch is finished I am pretty well tired so getting to the store isn't something that happens like it should sometimes, but if we are getting low on milk that is usually insentive enough ~ LIQUID GOLD!~ However, in the midst of another busy weekend some how we managed to drink the last of the milk on Sunday night and I was not able to get out and get some before work on Monday. Then Monday we had plans so we went two entire days without the beloved liquid gold. This is terrible, I know, and being pregnant my body needs that milk. Having a daycare we NEED that around! So when we finally made it to the store we bought 4 gallons!!! I feel like I am trying to make up for lost time and am enjoying greatly going to the fridge several times a day for a glass!

Not the most important post in the world....but liquid gold is an amazing thing and I can promise that unless it happens while I am giving birth to Cupcake, we will not be running out of milk any time in the near future!

A quote and my thoughts...

2011-01-18T04:45:00.000-07:00

"One woman will brag about her children, while another complains about hers; they could probably swap children without swapping tunes"

I found this quote (without author noted) and it really hit home to me. I have always tried very hard not to sound like a mother complaining about my children. Have I failed, YES, but I try each day to be ONLY thankful for my children and where we are. Do I complain about other things, more than I should...but why would I complain about one of the top three most amazing gifts God has blessed me with?

I know many women who have very little good to say about being a mother, or sharing the experience with their spouse. Is being a mother hard, YES! It is probably one of the most difficult hats I have to wear. But it is amazing, and I find it amazing how God has pieced our family together in His most perfect way! Now I know I have complained of situations before, but what do you hear fairly new mothers complain about out of the gates?

"I am so tired, this child wakes up for nightly feedings and I cannot sleep." I always found the night time feedings a blessing. The house is quiet, the lights are dim, and there are no distractions and absolutely nothing else for me to be doing but feeding that precious baby. I find this true of all my babies, even our foster babies, I have never minded getting up for that precious bonding time no matter what the hour.

"Changing diapers is for the birds, those blow outs are the worst." Here, I do tend to say that it isn't the most pleasant thing in the world to do...but having two children that struggled to go 'stinky' more than once a week as little ones I was always relieved when they would go...no matter how the outcome showed itself. Pleasant, no, but you had to know this was bound to happen when you started thinking about having children.

These are just a couple of things that I hear often even at baby showers when the blissful expectant mother is 'getting advise' from the already 'experienced' parents. It makes me sad that such things have to be brought into that precious happiness that expecting your first baby brings!

Now I am getting to experience a new level of parenthood. Both of my children to this point are adopted, because I was 'pre-menopausal' (however you spell it) and would not have any children after our 4th miscarriage. God prooved Himself to be still in the miracle business when in August of 2010 we discovered we were expecting! As I sit here now we are at 29 weeks and still doing well! You hear many women with a vast number of complaints about pregnancy. Here is another place I try very hard not to complain...this is a blessing, I know MANY people that would do almost anything to be in the state I am in right now. They wouldn't be caring about how much the scale has changed in 7 months or that they waddle everywhere they walk or they are not sleeping all the way through the night or that they cannot fit into 'normal' clothing or how uncomfortable they are or all the other things you often hear from pregnant women. Here again, I have tried very hard to not complain...have I failed, most likely, but my desire is to be thankful for this pregnancy that God has blessed me with. It has been exciting to get to experience the amazingness of a baby growing inside of my womb and feeling the kicks, and while my pregnancy hasn't been a bed of roses, even that has been somewhat exciting. We have had something like 7 ultrasounds since 6 weeks, 5 days and our last being just two weeks ago. I get to have at least one more before she is born too!

So going back to that quote, what kind of a mother do you want to be. If I were to constantly complain about my children, now that they are 4 years old, they would be hearing that and what would that do to them? Not only that, but what does it do to the people you are complaining to? Do they have children of their own? Do they not? Are they having trouble having children and are sitting there thinking 'lady if only you knew how much I would love to take your children off your hands and love on them' because of what they have been through? Our words strike farther than we think sometimes, and when dealing with such a precious gift as children we need to watch what we say....not only for ourselves, but for our children and people around us!

2010 in Pictures ~ Our Sunshine!

2011-01-17T04:39:00.002-07:00

West River Birthday Party!

Painting his ice cream bowl for Valentines Day!

Playing in the snow

Friends birthday party in March

Spring pictures

New bikes in April!

Annual Mother's Day pictures in May!

Swimming at the Patch in May

I love his many faces!

Riding the 1880 Train with Mama!

Dancing with Mama

4th of July parade (Cool Dude!)

Wild bowler at Sissy's birthday!

Visiting the fire station

Family pictures in October

Getting spoiled at Grandpa and Grandmas for Chritmas!

2010 in Pictures ~ Princess Style!

2011-01-14T07:33:00.000-07:00

Some months I couldn't pick just one!

Playing in the snow in February!

Nice Spring pictures in March!

The kids got their bikes in April!

Dance recital in May

Annual Mother's Day pictures in May!

Roughlock Falls in June....family time!

Helped Mama make carmel rolls in July!

4th of July parade!

4th Birthday Pictures!

Still talking Daddy into doing the 'Daddy Dance' in October!

Family pictures in October!

Our dancing Princess!

Getting spoiled at Grandma and Grandpa's for Christmas!

Thankful Thursday

2011-01-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

"Jesus answered them, "I told you, and you do not believe. The works that I do in my Father's name bear witness about me, but you do not believe because you are not part of my flock. My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father's hand. I and the Father are one." John 10:25-30

I am thankful the Jesus died on the cross and did not stay dead! He is alive! He was resurrected! I am thankful that he really made it so easy to trust in Him and to be part of His flock! I think sometimes Christians take for granted the life Christ has opened for us through salvation in Him. Do you realize that once you make the decision to put your trust in Him forever that He has adopted you? By today's standards when you adopt a child the state would have a more difficult time taking that adopted child away from you than if you had birthed them, that puts a larger relationship between you and your Savior than that of you and any other human being on earth! What will you do with this blessed relationship?

I will be thankful for it and strive daily to grow that relationship!

Homemade Orange Julius!

2011-01-13T12:35:00.001-07:00

My sister-in-law shared this with me about 8 years ago and it has stayed a favorite treat in our home!

1/2 can orange juice concentrate
1/2 cup sugar
1 cup mik
1 cup water
1 tsp vanilla
10 ice cubes

Blend on ice crush for 10-15 seconds!

Enjoy!

January 3rd!

2011-01-03T01:55:00.002-07:00

On this day 9 years ago my Handsome proposed and I said YES! What a fun 9 years it has been committed to you Handsome! God has brought us through many tough times, but He has also richly blessed us. I cannot put into words how thankful I am to have such a rock in my life! Every day is an adventure but I know every day this man is going to be the leader of our home and a godly example to our family! What a ride to have such an amazing man to walk through life with!

Thank you for choosing me Handsome! Thank you for loving me! Thank you for becoming the best friend I always wanted....thank you for being YOU!

In 7 months and 7 days we will celebrate our 9th Anniversary...I still think it was so special of you to calculate the time between engagement and wedding day (yes, we had our wedding day picked out before he asked me to marry him...but my dad is a farmer, and we needed to make sure to plan around hay cuttings!) and how perfect, 7 months and 7 days!

While your attention to little details like that is not the same as it was then, we have added a few other details to our lives since then. I look forward to each and every day that I get to spend with you. You are an amazing husband and the best Daddy! While I see you with Princess and Sunshine every day, I look forward to welcoming our cupcake into our family with you in just a few months!

I still say YES!

Love you HANDSOME!

January 2nd

2011-01-02T01:47:00.000-07:00

January 2nd 2011 marks a very special day, our Sunshine has been in our lives for 4 years now! While he was born in December 2006, we was not released from the hospital into foster care until January 2nd 2007 ~ when he was just six days old! We were blessed enough to be the ones that got the call to be his foster parents and then even more blessed to become his legal parents!

I still remember sitting in the basement of the church (where we lived at the time) feeding my 3 month old daughter (Princess) and getting and unknown number call that turned out to be our social worker! It was 3:41 PM and the worker asked me if we had an extra crib...I told him we had a pack n play but that I didn't allow people I don't know to use our things. He replyed with a, "we don't want to barrow it, we want to fill it!" He explained there was a newborn at the hospital here in town that they needed a foster home for and were wondering if we would like to be the foster parents for this child. Without calling my husband I said, "YES!" and was asked to be at the hospital in 15 mintues! I went not knowing how old or if I would be picking up a boy or a girl...the ladies on the maternity floor thought I was nuts when I came walking in with my 3 month old daughter in her carseat and said I was there to pick up a newborn foster baby! We also didn't realize then that this foster baby would become our legal son! What a blessing!

That day stands out in my mind like it was yesterday! Sunshine, yet again I can say we are so thankful that God put you in our lives! While you make each day a little more difficult, you also brighten it too!

*******

On another note, Happy 29th Anniversary to my parents!

2010 in pictures

2011-01-01T23:47:00.000-07:00

A picture a month for 2010

January ~ Sunshines' East River birthday party

February ~ On our Valentines family weekend we painted ice cream bowls at Pottery 2 Paint...they have enjoyed using them!

March ~ We were able to attend a friend and fellow Pumpkin at her birthday party!

April ~ We drove to MN to spend Easter with Mama's extended family!

May ~ The annual Mother's Day photo shoot

June ~ Grandma and Aunt C came to visit and we road the 1880 train!

July ~ Our yearly trip to the rodeo...it was chilly this year!

August ~ the terrible mother I am have no pictures in August of people, just nature! But we do have much beauty in that department around here!

September ~ A second trip to Devils Tower for us this year, this time with our Pastor and family...we have enjoyed getting to know them since then!

October ~ Family night at the Fire Station open house! The kids had a BALL!

November ~ We were blessed enough to have Mama's parents here for Thanksgiving so we set up our Christmas tree earlier than ever before!

November II ~ We had our family pictures taken by a dear friend in my home town of LB, MN!

December ~ Our children had the chance to be a part of their first church Christmas program! They did pretty well and were excited to have our Pastors children (their new best friends) in the program too!

********************

There are so many other pictures I could share with you, and throughout this week I will do a post for pictures of Princess 2010 and pictures of Sunshine 2010! What a blessed year we had, God has given us more than we could ask for in 2010 and we already know 2011 will be a wonderful year as we look forward to the birth of our Cupcake in March or April!

Happy New Year!

Shy Girl!

2010-12-29T10:16:00.000-07:00

I was wanting to have this be something more than a 'on this date, this happened' kind of a post....but I have not found a cute way to relay the news.

On Sunday night, December 26th, our Cupcake finally let her Daddy feel a kick. One kick was all she could manage to give him, but she did allow him that one kick! He now has proof that Mama is not just gaining weight and 'taking it easy' for nothing! (Handsome never thought that, he has been very amazing with this pregnancy)

Then in this amazing journey yesterday (the 28th) I was laying in bed before getting up for the day and she started doing an amazing little dance that allowed me to feel her, for sure, for about 15 minutes with my hand on my belly! It is interesting to feel someone moving inside of you...and an entirely different ball game when you are also feeling that little person move on the outside too!

Now if only you could be so kind as to let your big sister feel you, she would be so excited! She is singing faithfully to you every night and patiently (though the patience is not going to last much longer) holding her hand on my belly often to try and catch you kicking....so PLEASE Cupcake, your Princess is so excited for you and would like to feel you move!

Happy 4th Birthday Sunshine!

2010-12-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Four years, wow, how time does fly away! How is it possible that my 'baby' is turing 4! You no longer need Mama to help you dress, eat, change your diaper...but one thing has not changed...you still need Mama for occasional snuggles! Oh how I dread the day you grow out of that soft side of needing a Mama snuggle! You have always been the one that would crawl up on my lap and snuggle in for lengths of time, I love that!

Sunshine it seems that we are finally in the area of not battling anything with you...before we knew for sure that you would be our Sunshine we battled for your life with so many doctors and tests that I thought it would NEVER end. When we finally got to the end of that we battled in court for the right to be your parents since we were the only people that you knew! God has given victory over both of those battles and for that we are thankful!

I still remember the day in March of 2008 when the doctor told us to 'go home, love on him, spend as much time with him, but get final arrangements in order.' My mind raced, for 14 marvelous months God had placed you in our home as a foster baby (though we loved you so and considered you ours) and now He was going to take you away from us. Nothing legally had been decided so would we even get to have a say in your 'final arrangement?' That is when God helped us find your gluten intolerance. You all of a sudden (literally over night!) became a different child! What a miracle!

Here we are almost 3 years out from that and while you are still eating a diet free of gluten, you are walking, talking, growing, laughing & smiling...and it isn't all just a memory! You are living life! It is no mistake that we call you Sunshine, your smile and warm eyes bring sunshine even to the most dreary times. Your sweetness can melt a stone...you are my precious baby boy (sorry, you will always be Mama's baby!)

Your Mama and Daddy love you more than we could ever express to you...the fact that God has privilaged us to be your parents is something we are thankful for every day. To see you and your sister interact with eachother as best of friends one day and then have troubles getting along the next day is fun to watch. I also love how you get distracted by the smallest things (it does get frusterating at times too) but to walk outside and see your eyes light up because a leaf blows by in the wind or to see you riding your bike at the park and be filled with joy because two squirls are chasing each other across the grass! You never walk in a straight line because you are observing all the little details around you. I also love to see how sweet you are with your unborn baby sister and enjoy hearing you sing your favorite song, "Today is the Day" to her at night after prayers. Your smile and eyes are something I look forward to seeing when you wake up with your wild and crazy hair every morning. What a blessing it is to get to work at home and be with you every day! Thank you for loving, thank you for being our Sunshine!

Happy Birthday my baby boy...we love you!

Merry Christmas from our family!

2010-12-25T04:48:00.000-07:00

This year has been full of many blessings with a few trials mixed in - like most years - but this one was unlike any year we have lived before!

Mama started the year with the Ideal Protein Diet that allowed a loss of 48 lbs in 5 months! It helped level out her PCOS which brings us to the biggest news of 2010: we are expecting our Cupcake on April 2nd 2011! A shock for sure, but we are thrilled!

Handsome's biggest project for the year was taking on the addition to our house! We needed more room for daycare and the growing family and while we did hire some of the work, Handsome did much of it too! He also took on most of my 'wifely' duties at home while I was 'taking it easy' turing my 1st trimester.

We also made the decision to help plant Connection Church here in town. It has been a blessing to get to know our Pastor & family, while seeing God work at the same time!

Princess had her 2nd dance recital in May and looked forward to the start of her 3rd year in the Fall! She turned 4 in September and was excited to finally get her ears pierced!

Sunshine has enjoyed being Daddy's helper but does best with the destruction side! It seems he may finally have the potty thing down and will turn 4 two days after Christmas!

Now the last big news of the year, one month before we found out we were pregnant we started the adoption process again! We have had three friends offer fundraisers to us and all our paperwork is done. We are now waiting to be matched with our Texas baby!

While 2010 has been packed full, we starive to live each day to bring glory to our King. Let us each take time to remember Jesus' birth at this time and all year through!

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Love,
Handsome, Mama, Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake & Texas Baby

Christmas Eve 2009

2010-12-24T04:39:00.003-07:00

This is our family last year...Christmas Eve was a little different than normal in the fact that we were not able to go to the church service for the first time in YEARS due to a massive cripling snowstorm! I still dressed the kiddos up and we took some family pictures. I cannot believe how much a year has changed this picture! Princess and Sunshine have grown (it seems like more than a year's worth of growth!), Handsome lost a little over 25 lbs this year, and I not only lost almost 50 lbs but am working on gaing a good bit of that back due to Ms. Cupcake growing inside of me! Who would have ever guessed that a year would make so much difference...makes me excited to see what our 2011 Christmas Eve picture will look like!

A little sibling love!

Merry Christmas

Thankful Thursday ~ Our Little Family Christmas

2010-12-23T04:09:00.000-07:00

Saturday night we decided that we would have our 'own' little family Christmas! We spent the day together (after the Princess' dance class) and we were able to finish buying the supplies for what we need to do to finish up the addition. And Handsome allowed me to get a pedicure (as my stocking stuffer) while we were out and about too.

Our 'little' family Christmas has become a tradition over the last few years...we do not actually buy gifts for our childre, just stocking stuffers...but sometimes the stuffers are too big for the stockings so we end up wrapping a couple! 8-)

Princess opening her first stuffer...

There is always some kind of clothing in the stocking for each of them...this year she had a 'beautiful pink sweater' ~ Her words!

Sunshine was able to open his clothing item next!

He had been feeling so left out because Mama & Daddy AND Princess all had scarves, but he did not. I tried and TRIED to find him a 'little boy' scarf, but couldn't. So ended up just buying a cheap black ladies scarf and that made him VERY happy!

The Princess' other stuffer she had to open...anything with a princess on it is good for her!

Sunshine is looking forward to playing his 'wild' game!

Then we actually got down the stockings and I forgot to take any other pictures!

Princess was excited to find the VeggieTales Jonah movie, a Strawberry Shortcake doll, a My Little Pony, and some Resse's Pieces

Sunshine was excited to find some (6) animals for his barn, a Buzz & Woody poster, and Resse's Pieces

Handsome received some AE socks he had been drooling over, an AE necklace, new earphones that stay on for his ipod, AND the Princess Bride DVD (huge sacrifice on my part because I DO NOT LIKE this movie at all!)

Cupcake even had a stocking (more for Daddy's than anyone because Princess and Sunshine each picked out something for her) but she received a set of pink keys (from Sunshine) a pink rattle (from Princess) and a little pink sleeper with cupcakes all over it (from Mama!)

I am still enjoying that my toes are beautiful once again, especially since it is uncomfortable for me to reach them these days!

It was a wonderful time together as a family, and we were able to take time and share with the kids again what Christmas is really all about...not the gifts, but The Gift of baby Jesus!

I love that my children are getting old enough to understand some of these things!

So many things to be Thankful for!

Anyone China ready?

2010-12-23T01:19:00.001-07:00

Time is running out for THIS CASE. If he has not found his forever family by his 14th birthday in February his chance of adoption will have run out. His family must already be China ready....please pray for him!

First Christmas Program!

2010-12-22T04:01:00.001-07:00

Last Sunday the kids were able to be a part of the Christmas Program at Hills of Grace and it was the first time we have been in a church with A) enough kids to do a program or B) a church that did a program, since they have been born! They were so excited because their 'best friends' (Our Pastor's Kids) were Mary & Joseph and Princess was able to be an angel and Sunshine a king! He looked so tiny up there! But I thought it was adorable, Princess was up there first and she looked for where I was and waved at me right away with a big smile! Sunshine did the same thing as soon as he got up there...found me and waved with a VERY LARGE smile! Proud Mama right here!

She was looking at me...

This was just as they were exiting the platform...so happy they were so excited to serve the Lord in such an important way!

35%

2010-12-21T08:55:00.000-07:00

35% is how much of this pregnancy is left...if they let me go to my due date! It is crazy to me that we are that close to be done! 102 days...Christmas Eve will be our first day under 100 in the countdown.

This morning as I was laying in bed waiting for Handsome to finish in with his shower so I could, Ms. Cupcake (not only does she already have a name, but we already have her nickname too) was moving my belly all over the place. It was crazy! It wasn't like the other times where it just looking like someone was tapping on the other side, this time it was an actual movement of a body part (still not sure which one!) Like my entire belly shifted for a second, CRAZY! I am enjoying being pregnant, and even all the comments when people ask how long we have left and their responses of, "WOW" or "REALLY, I would have guessed it was much sooner than that!" are not bothering me. I know that is the 'nice' way of saying, "WOMAN, you are HUGE!" But seriously, with all the 'taking it easy' this pregnancy has brought and the fact that I have high fluid and am possibly further along than they originally stated what is a person suppose to do?!?!? I look forward to the day that someone other than myself can feel Cupcake moving inside of me too!

Each of my family have their own way of communicating their 'special' things to Cupcake. Princess sings Jesus Loves Me to her almost every day now, has been doing it for almost three weeks and now every time she sings it Cupcake starts dancing like mad! Hopefully one of these days she will give Mama a kick hard enough that Princess can feel her baby sister move! Sunshine just started singing his favorite song to her last night after seeing sissy do it for so long...so every day Cupcake will get to hear Lincoln Brewster's "Today is the Day!" While he was singing last night the phrase, "I won't worry about tomorrow, I'm trusting in what you say" really caught be off guard and reminded me I need to worry alot less about Cupcake and our Texas baby because God knows and my worries cannot change anything any way! Handsome and I talked a week ago and he is narrowing in on a select few verses that he is going to start reading to Cupcake every night before bed (that seems to be when she is most active.) It does seem that Cupcake likes the repetitiveness of hearing the same voice saying or singing the same thing and that does get her moving!

So in 102 days or less we will meet Cupcake, and everyone is VERY excited!

We ordered her crib and dresser/changing table this morning too! So next week sometime after getting home from all the Christmas craziness, we should have that here waiting to be set up! SO EXCITED! She's coming!

Where Else Would a Lamb Be Born? Performed by Steve Amerson

2010-12-20T18:10:00.000-07:00

Thankful Thursday

2010-12-16T21:10:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for memories. What would life be like without the memories? Good OR bad! I think it is interesting how you can not have thought of something for years and a smell, a song, or something else all of a sudden brings you back to that moment in time that had been forgotten! That happens to me all the time...there is a certain shampoo and a certain discontinued fragrance for lotion from a popular mall store that specializes in that sort of thing that brings me back to my college years. The shampoo is the one I used the entire time I was at college and the lotion was sent to me in a care package from my church.

There are also songs that bring me back to certain times too. When I hear "Fingerprints of God" by Steven Curtis Chapman I always think of my senior year of high school and the amazing youth group I was a part of at that time!

I could go on and on...

But something that I think I do not take enough time is to MAKE memories on PURPOSE with my children. So we did just that the other night. They had been asking to make cookies for weeks, so we finally did. I hadn't done this with my children before...and so when thinking about it when you make cookies with your children what do you think of? CUT OUT SUGAR COOKIES! But you see, I am not a baker....I can cook (sometimes~my husband thinks I am better than I am) but to bake is something I have not enjoyed or gotten into! ANYWAY, so I made a trip to the grocery store to make sure I had all the proper ingrediants and we started.

First right after naps we mixed up the dough because it had to be cooled for a couple hours before we could roll it out. Then after supper (and a very long, tiring day for Mama) we embarked on what turned out to be a trial of patience for this Mama. The kids loved every minute of it, I hate to admit the fact that there were many times throughout the process that I had the thought, "why did I do this? how much longer can it possibly take?" But when it was all said and done, the kids have told me a million times in the last two days that they had so much fun and want to make cookies again! Memories are important, and they will remember the time Mama made cookies with them for a long time! So lesson learned: the memories are important, but next time Princess and Sunshine want to make cookies we are going to make chocolate chip or peanut butter!

All in all it was much fun!

Princess rolling out her first batch of dough...she cut out shoes and handprints!

Sunshine concetrating VERY hard on rolling out his dough...he cut out all Christmas Stockings!

What's for supper?

2010-12-15T20:23:00.000-07:00

The last two Wednesdays I have overlooked the construction mess, and then today also the house mess that comes from not doing laundry or dishes for a couple days due to plumbing issues...and had different friends over for meals. Tonight we had a recipe that I hadn't made in a while but remember after eating it how amazing it was! It came out of a Taste of Home magazine when we were first married!

Cheesy Ham 'n' Rice Soup

4 celery ribs, chopped
1 large onion, chopped
1/4 cup butter or margarine
4 medium carrots, shredded (I just cut them into bit sized pieces)
1/3 cup all-purpose flour (to make gluten free you can sub 2 TBSP & 2 tsp of cornstarch for this)
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp pepper
2 cups half and half...I didn't have this and tonight used heavy cream instead
8 ounces process cheese (Velveeta), cubed
4 cups cooked wild rice (I only had brown rice on hand and subbed that)
3 cups cubed fully cooked ham
3 TBSP chicken bouillon granules
8 cups water
Slivered almonds, optional

In a saucepan, saute celery and onion in butter until tender. Add carrots; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes (if using cut up pieces maybe do 5 min.) In a large kattle or Dutch oven, combine the flour, salt and pepper. Gradually stir in cream. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thinkened.

Remove from the heat; stir in cheese until melted. Stir in the rice, ham, bouillon, celery mixture and water. Return to a boil. Sprinkle with almonds if desired. I always throw in a little parsley because in my mind all homemade soups need a little!

Yummy!

My kids are getting big!

2010-12-14T16:33:00.000-07:00

I know, I know "every mom goes through this" and "at least they are growing, that means they are healthy" and all those other good comments...but seriously! It seems there isn't a thing they cannot help with any more. From laundry to cooking to cleaning to even entertaining one Pumpkin while I diaper/feed another....they are very good little helpers these days!

How did this happen? How do they go from tiny little babies to such big kids with personalities and opinions all of their own? It is funny to me to look at this picture an realize they are 3 months apart...and that Sunshine was bigger than Princess by over a pound when he was born! CRAZINESS!

The newest excitement around our house is that the kids get to be in their very first Christmas Drama at church next Sunday! They are very excited, Princess will be an angel and Sunshine will be a king! While being in the drama means that we are going to miss out on Handsome's family Christmas, but we are excited to see the kids serving the Lord in this capacity!

We do hope you are celebrating Jesus' birth this time of year and that you can have a 'Merry CHRISTmas' Will be posting the family Christmas Card and letter sometime next week...if anyone wants one in the mail email or message me on FB with your address and I am still working on sending them out!

The difference 10 weeks makes!

2010-12-13T13:46:00.000-07:00

Here we have the first picture we took at 14 weeks and the picture we have from this weekend at 24 weeks! Needless to say little Grasshopper is taking up plenty room...and she is kicking me like crazy these days! I cannot believe I have 15 1/2 weeks left, not sure where she is going to grow in that time as it seems my belly is stretched as far as it can be!

Family Time

2010-12-12T01:43:00.002-07:00

Last night we managed to squeeze in a little family time between coats of paint in the daycare room! We went to the city's 'Holidazzle Light Parade' and saw some of our Patch clients! The kids got all excited to see B sitting on top of a chair with a Santa hat on a a bright light! Then not to much farther down the line up we saw his wife J pushing little A in the stroller! That really made the kids excited! Afterwards we came home and had supper, did baths, drank cider, folded clothes (yes, my kids think that is quality time!), and watched Daddy put the first coat of color on (he already had primed it and painted the ceiling!)

It is so much fun to watch life through a 4 year olds eyes! The excitement over little things and the joy that comes from normal! We are blessed to have Princess and Sunshine in our lives! Thank you Lord, for blessing us in such an amazing way!

Saturday December 11th...

2010-12-11T10:04:00.000-07:00

We are 24 weeks with only 16 weeks left to meet our little Grasshopper (if they let me go to my due date!) Excitement is starting to overtake any worry or fear about this pregnancy! She is moving regularly and I {may} have felt the slightest of movement with my hand last night!

Our Princess thinks she did too...except I didn't feel little Grasshopper inside when she felt her outside 8-) Oh the imaginations of excited 4 year olds!

A little info...

2010-12-10T00:59:00.002-07:00

So I think there are some things that I would like for people to know:

Our adoption, we have desired to adopt another child since the time we finalized Sunshine's adoption (8.1.08) and have been praying for God to guide us and direct us as to when it should or should not happen. In May/June of this year God brought us to that time, the time when we knew it was His time to start the process. We started with paperwork, contracts, background checks, and also with some payments...but we were committed. The very day we signed our first contract we were 2 weeks pregnant but did not know that. God knew, but we didn't.

God has also brought into our path 3 people that offered to do fundraisers for us. We are thankful for this.

The urgency that came about in November was due to the fact that if we got all of our paperwork finished and to the agency by the 30th of November we would save $3000! That is huge! So the fact that we may have seemed to be 'pushing' things in the Thanksgiving month was due to trying to be frugal and save that large sum of money!

Now that the paperwork is in we have no hurry. If God brings us our adopted baby tomorrow, we would be thankful and excited. If He chose to wait until after Emi was born or even a year down the road, we are happy with that too! We want to do what God wants for our lives...never push ahead of Him and never hold His timing back. Now are we perfect? No, not at all! Have we messed up? YES! But we know that God clearly brought us to the decision to adopt again at the very same time He created and {so far} has sustained our little Emi's life. We also know that he brought us to the very end of November with the paperwork just to show us how AMAZING He is...we did get the $3000 credit, on the very last day of elegibility! Do we still have some financial things to work out to be able to finish the adoption? YES! We do, but we also know that God can to amazing things and in His way and His time it will happen!

I hope this clears some things up for some of you, I know that there are many people that think us continuing to persue adoption while expecting is not a wise decision and there have even been a few that have said they think we are stepping out of God's will for our lives. I appreciate those that will sincere hearts have asked questions and tried to figure things out before jumping to conclusions and throwing names and accusations our way. I am always happy to answer questions! But we pray every day for God to direct our steps!

Thankful Thursday!

2010-12-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

Today I am VERY thankful for friends! Yesterday I was able to have a good long conversation with my dear pregnant friend whos baby is coming in a month or so! Sometimes you just need to talk to a friend and be able to 'vent' but what is best when they can understand and walk with you through it! Thanks L!

Last night we also were able to meet with our Pastor and his beautiful wife. We had them over for supper and were able to 'bounce' some things off of them. It was such a blessing to have someone to go to for godly counsel and wisdom! We appreciate them more than they can ever know. Have you ever met someone and shortly after meeting them realize that it just 'works?' Well we met these wonderful people and their amazing kids in the middle of July and it seems like we have known them forever! It is very much a blessing!

~Was there ever a time in your life where you felt trapped by circumstances and unable to escape, yet somehow things worked out? Praise God for His steadfast love and His promise never to desert us.!~

It seems we may be in a couple of those 'trapped' circumstances. We are praying for God to work in all three areas! I am sure he will, we just need to learn the lesson He is trying to teach along the way. But both our Pastor and wife & our friends J and L have been a blessing to us at this time! I am thankful for friends!

Dearest Emi~

2010-12-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Last night for the first time I saw my belly move with your movements! It was so precious, your Daddy was able to see you move a couple of times too! So you may not allow us to 'feel' you move from the outside yet, but at least you are letting your Daddy see your movements! Thank you for that sweet memory!

Love,
Mama

Adoption Help

2010-12-07T00:49:00.002-07:00

Does anyone know any ideas about helping raise support for a family trying to adopt? We have had a few fundraisers that have helped with small things like mailing contracts, renewing our homestudy, and things of that sort, but we really need to raise about $9000 more.

Over the last 4 years we have personally paid (barrowed and are still paying) $68,000.00, including $17,500 for our current adoption. But that is the end of the road and we took this step in faith knowing it wouldn't be easy. We will need roughly $9000 more in order to bring home our Texas baby. We will be applying to a few adoption grant places, but many of the preface the grant applications with things like "grant will be given to families with greatest need, whether financial or childless homes." Since we have two adoption children already and are expecting our little Grasshopper we are not expecting to be high on their priority list, but we are applying because we know God will do this some how, some way!

I am thankful to Paradise Massage for the 5K in September that raised enough to completely pay for our homestudy renewal.

We are also thankful to Rita who did a Pampered Chef fundraiser for us and also to Yolanda who is currently running a Blessings Unlimited party for us!

We are also thankful to D&R.H and L&L.H for their $50 (each) personal donations that totaled $100! What a blessing that was! So kind of both you couples to do that! It is appreciated more than you know!

So we are curious if anyone is willing to donate to our adoption, or ask your church if they could help in some way (bake sale, special offereing, garage sale, etc).

Also, does anyone know what we would need to do to be okayed to put out donation buckets around to local businesses? I would imagine you need to get permission from someone, but who?

Any advise or help is especially apprecaited!

Dear Grasshopper,

2010-12-06T07:25:00.000-07:00

Dear Precious Little Grasshopper,

     On Friday night your big sister and brother went to bed a little early and Mommy & Daddy sat down to watch Th.eBlin.dSid.e for some rest and together time! We didn't make it all the way through the movie before we needed to go to bed, but I just wanted to let you know that we have come to the conclusion that you are a little stinker! Your Daddy sat with his hand on Mama's belly for most of the movie and every time he would move it for a second you would start moving and kicking, he would put his hand back and you would stop instantly! We are so excited to meet you and get to know you, but you still have a few months before you can safely enter our world....so until then all we have is your movements and while I enjoy them daily, would you please be kind enough to let Daddy feel you SOON!

     We love you tons....and look forward to seeing when it is your time to meet us!

                                                                                                          Love,
                                                                                                          Mommy

We are ACTIVE!

2010-12-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

We were able to get all of our paperwork and things in to our agency, Family to Family, this week and we now are active! That means we are just waiting to be 'matched' with our little one and then wait until he/she is born! We are very excited to see what God is going to do through this adoption, and what His timing with be with our little Grasshopper 17 or less weeks away!

If you have ever considered adoption....in any way...I would highly encourage you to at least give the wonderful ladies at Family to Family a call! They are AMAZING! We are going back for a second time, that says something! 8-) Great ladies that really do become part of your family! We are excited to be working with them again!

On that note, a friend of mine has been kind enough to do a Blessings Unlimited fundraiser for us to help with the cost of our adoption. She said order take only days to arrive at your door! To see the details about the fundraiser, that goes through midnight on December 11th, you can visit the FaceBook event page! We would apprecite your help!

Will keep you posted on our 'Texas Baby'

Thankful Thursday, I think!?!?

2010-12-02T13:12:00.000-07:00

Today is Thursday, right?!?!? That is kind of the way this week has gone...

BUT, I do have something to be extremely thankful for! While our pregnancy has ben very up and down in the risky end...I am now (and have been for a while) feeling little Grasshopper on a regular, almost scheduled, basis! I am thankful for this as feeling her wiggling and dancing inside of me is a constant reminder that she is there...ALIVE! I have to say, while it is the neatest thing I have ever experienced...it is also the STRANGEST/WIERDEST thing I have evet felt in my life. I am really enjoying feeling her move, wondering if she is going to look more like Handsome or myself...will she be blonde or dark haired? It is pretty much a given that she will have blue eyes...I hope like mine were pre-miscarriages! Will she have Handsomes ears? Will she have my large nose? Will she have his chin...on and on the list goes! I think of these things almost constantly, because if I do not dwell on the positive the 'what ifs' of our risky pregnancy creep into my mind!

On Saturday we will be 23 weeks, just 17 weeks from our estimated due date...that means that she could be 14 weeks from being 'full term' and that is thrilling to me! Pregnancy has been one of the most wonderful journies of my life and I am thankful for the chance to experience it....even if every part of life right now I hear 'take it easy' and 'don't do that!'

On the other side of things, we also are completely and fully contracted with our adoption agency and will start being presented to birthmothers as they come in! With that comes much prayer because we need a minimum of $7500 raised to complete the adoption....we had $17500 in a loan at the start knowing it wasn't the full amount, but also knowing God was leading us to adopt again....so it will be fun (and because I'm human - stressful!) to see how He works!

So much to be thankful for!

National Adoption Month

2010-11-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

As we bring November to a close, it makes me think of the fact that November is National Adoption Awareness month. There are so many different 'causes' people can take up as THEIRS, obviously God has put adoption on our hearts. We are blessed to have our Princess and our Sunshine in our lives...and we are looking forward to meeting our newest addition to the family whenever we are matched and that little one is born.

But something I was to point out is that adoption costs ALOT! Not just financially, though we will talk about that too! But emotionally, while we {adoptive families} are celebrating our joy of growing our fmaily, there is a birth mother and her family that are grieving the loss of that same little one. In a perfect {or even semi-perfect} situation you are able to maintain contact so that loss isn't AS great, but still there. In both of our situations contact is not in place. With Princess we had contact with her birthmother until Princess was 6 months old, but then her birthmother disappeared, we have not heard from her nor has the agency. With Sunshine there are legal restrictions the prohibit any contact between him and any of his birth family due to the situation he came out of.

But just because Princess' birthmother left us and Sunshines' birthmother isn't allowed to have contact with him doesn't mean they do not hurt. I cannot imagine {especially now that I am experiencing the joy of pregnancy myself} having that little one grow and kick inside of you and go through the pain of delivary without getting that reward of parenting and loving on that child at the end of it! I am sure both of these caring women still have hurts from the fact that these children are not in their lives, and I want you all to know it is something I think about often. I am forever greatful for the fact that these mothers chose us to parent their precious little ones that now call us Mommy and Daddy, but I forever hurt for those two ladies as well! Now I know in Sunshines situation it was not healthy nor safe for him to be in his birthmother's care, but that doesn't take away her emotions...maybe it even makes it a little worse for her!

There is emotional pain on this end too. My kids are getting old enough now that they are asking questions....LOTS AND LOTS of questions...but we made the decision when they were babies that they would grow up knowing that they were adopted, it wasn't going to be some secret we kept from them until later in life. Princess knows she grew in *****'s tummy and Sunshine knows he grew in ****'s tummy and now their question of 'why' is starting to come into play. While I am thankful to their birthmother's for allowing my husband and I the chance to be parents, it still hurts that I was not able to be EVERYTHING to my children. Now does that make them less of children, NO! Does it really make me less of a mother, NO! But sometimes it feels that way. We see people in the community that disreguard them as our children because I didn't birth them...that hurts too, to see children rejected because they were born to someone else. But Princess and Sunshine love us, know us, and call us Mommy and Daddy...they just know their stories are a little 'extra special.'

Now on the financial end of it, there is great sacrifice on the end of most adoptive parents. Princess' adoption cost us right around $27,000 that we took out almost completely in loans. We did receive $1200 as a gift to help with travel expenses and one of my Aunt & Uncles sent us $500 to help with the cost, but otherwise it was all loan that we are still working on paying for! Sunshines adoption was slightly less, and with him we received no help, so again there was around $25,000 in loans we are still paying for! This time we have tried fundraising. Last Spring we did a coffee fundraiser that helped us raise about $200, this fall one of my wonderful Patch moms did a 5K for us that helped us raise $350, and we just wrapped up a Pampered Chef fundraiser and have a Blessings Unlimited one starting on Sunday. My guess with the PC is that we raised about $40 and I am praying for at least $100 with the BU one! So while we have had fundraisers and we are thankful for every bit that comes in, the cost of the adoption will still be right at or a little more than $25,000! We do not expect other people to just hand out money to us, though we have had a neighbor hand us $50 and a friend also send us $50 (Thank you L&L and D&R, we are VERY appreciative!) we are praying that there might be a little more help out there somewhere. We have already sent a $10,000 check off that we have in a loan, and the next payment is due when w are matched. That payment is $7500, and another $7500 is due when the baby is born. It would be wonderful if some how a miracle could take place and both of those payments could be raised so we didn't have to take out loans for them! We are applying for grants, but since we already have two children and are now expecting that isn't going to put us up high on lists for receiving grants.

So my question is, would God lay on your heart to help out an adoptive family somehow? I am not saying just us...there are hundreds of adoptive families out there. In fact I know several families that the only thing stopping them from adopting is the money, they just simply cannot afford the $25,000+ it costs to adopt a child. But there are also great organizations out there that help adoptive families in need of financial assistance. ABBA Fund in North Carolina gives Christian adoptive families no interest loans so if you give to them your gift will help more than one family, because as the families pay back their loan that money is recycled and used with other families! Steven Curtis Chapman also has a grant association I believe his new website is showhope.com. Parenthood For Me is a new grant not for profit in New York I personally have donated to to help get them going, they give grants not only for adoptive families, but also for families going through fertility treatments! The list goes on and on, but maybe donating financially isn't something you can do...that is okay, there needs to be people willing to pray for families going through the adoption process because it is a rollercoaster ride!

Just my thoughts as National Adoption Awareness Month comes to a close!

Black Friday

2010-11-26T03:35:00.001-07:00

Happy Shopping Everyone!

Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T01:48:00.000-07:00

"Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude." ~E.P. Powell

I love Thanksgiving! It is my favorite Holiday...it reminds people to be thankful (though we should be year round!) But people are generally happier on Thanksgiving, than even Christmas...because they do tend to focus more on giving thanks...which does make a person happy!

I look back over the years of my husband and I spending Thanksgiving together and we have spent it in several different ways!

With his sister and huband (pre children), with a Pastor & wife (friends), with different families, on our own, we even hosted it once too! But since our children were born I particularly remember Thanksgiving.

2006 ~ We had a precious 3 month old baby girl and we drove more than 14 hours through the night to get to Hudson, WI where my mom's older sister lives and mom's family would gather for the holiday. I was so proud to be bringing Princess to a family get together, really her first! She was showered with so much love...I wouldn't say the weekend went without a hitch, but there was a big one involving myself and my grandmother...but that was getting to be kind of normal. It was amazing to have that time with family and see my daughter being passed around and loved on!

2007 ~ I believe this was the first year we started the 'new' tradition! We broke away from Mom's family and decided to have Thanksgiving at Mom & Dad's house with just them, my brother & wife, and our family...which had grown since the year before. We now had our Princess, our Sunshine, and three foster children that were 3, 2, & 5 months old at the time! It was a lively house to say the least! But it was still wonderful. I remember sitting at the table after we had finished the meal and seeing my Seester-in-law holding our little 5 month old foster girl, Sunshine was sleeping, the 2 & 3 year old foster boys were playing, and my mother and husband were trying to get Princess to hang a toothpick out of her mouth! It was beautiful! Mom was also successful in teaching my newly standing on her own Princess to stand and snap to Elvis! lol

2008 ~ We had the privilage of hosting Thanksgiving this year, only Mom & Dad made it to our home in the Hills...and we did without a snowstorm this time! Scratch that, I think one came in before they went home...don't remember! Anyway, we were down to our two children only, but were starting to pray that God would permanently grow our family again...and SOON! We also had a gentleman from the church join us, our kids called him, "Papa Denny" and he was such a sweet man to be around! It was a marvelous time.

2009 ~ We were back at my parents house again and once again it was too much fun! I always enjoy being together with family...we did have to sneak away a little earlier than planned to beat the snow storm, but it just allowed us a longer time to be there with them!

2010 ~ We have been told that November I should take it easy and not travel more than an hour away from home just to be safe, so once again Mom & Dad are HERE! We have been invited to join our Pastor & family/good friends for the Thanksgiving Meal. It should be fun...our kids love their kids and Pastor and D. are tons of fun to be around. This year brings extra things to be thankful for, Grasshopper being just 18 1/2 weeks away from birth and also the knowledge that any time we could receive our phone call from our agency in Texas letting us know a birthmother has chosen us! There are so many other things, but those two in particular are at the front of our minds.

Which brings me to being thankful...how many times a day are you thankful, yes I said A DAY!?!? Really, each day brings to reason to be thankful and trials too...do we take time to be thankful for the little things? Water running from our tap? Socks that keep our feet warm? Soap to wash our bodies? Tires on our car? Shingles that help our homes shed water? The people in our lives? The fact that there is a positive balance in the checkbook, even if only a few dollars? Your every living moment is something to be thankful! I, for one, do not take enough time to be thankful...I am too busy or full of worry.

It is interesting how God works, in the midst of typing about Grasshopper my phone rang and it was my clinic informing me that they found my ultrasound to have extra fluid around the baby...which can mean nothing at all, or can mean alot too. I can instantly worry about premature birth, or a baby with birth defects...or I can be thankful that there is a baby to be worrying about!

Anyway, there is a reason to be thankful every day....today being Thanksgiving is also one of my 'Thankful Thursday' posts...

I am thankful for family & friends...and haveing knowledge of the need and importance of being thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Patch!

2010-11-24T00:33:00.000-07:00

*Photo from file, 2 of those kids are mine, 2 are drop ins, and three of them are no longer attending the Patch...I just realized when searching for a picture that most of my pictures of The Patch are on my phone and not on my computer! Sorry for an 'out dated' picture!

Yesterday was kind of a funny day at the Patch. I had my regular Tuesday crew: a 4 year old (Princess), an almost 4 year old (Sunshine), an almost 3 year old, 3 - 1 year olds, and little sweetie that is 7 months old.

Anyway, with the addition of our house there are people coming and going all day and funny noises that are happening outside all the time. Yesterday was no different. Two guys came in the morning to deliver sheet rock and it let a bunch of COLD air in the house. I planned ahead and had all the kids that were awake pile on the couch and snuggle under a blanket while watching Toddler Action Songs on TV. I had the three oldest, and 2 of the 1 year olds sitting on the couch snuggled up together. At first they thought it was tons of fun because they are not usually allowed to sit on the couch, but after about 10 minutes the little ones started getting restless. I actually asked Mr. R if he would like to sit on the couch or take a nap...he responded with nap! Too funny...

Anyway, it was just so sweet (the first 10 minutes) while they were allowed to sit there and snuggled up together. Some put their arms around their neighbor, some kept making sure those next to them were snuggled in warm and moving the blanket closer to them! For the first 10 minutes I saw nothing but concern for the other Pumpkins sitting with them. These days around here are fun. While we have been dealing with sharing and attitude adjustments, it is moments like these that remind me why I love my job. Not only do I get to be with my children all day every day, but I get to be the one to take care of other peoples' children too. What a great honor!

Children make life fun!

The Princess and the REALLY BIG FISH!

2010-11-23T10:37:00.000-07:00

Last Friday while feeding the little Pumpkins lunch, one of the kids did something naughty and I corrected them and said they needed to speak kindly and have a good attitude. Also said it is better to do what is right than things that are bad.

After that I went about cutting up the apples for the Pumpkins and I hear my Princess telling the little girl who had just been 'naughty' that one time 'last week' (because anything that happen in the past was 'last week' I stole some of my brother special crackers and that is a SIN. Then I went potty on my floor one morning 'last year' and that is a SIN. And when I do not obey my Mom and Dad, that is a SIN and it makes Jesus pleased (think she forgot the 'dis' in displeased!) And we shouldn't sin because if we do we will get eaten by a REALLY BIG FISH!

We hadn't talked about Jonah in a while, which just goes to show how important it is to be cautious what you put into your kids' minds because IT STICKS! I think that a 4 year old's interpritation of the fact that Jonah didn't obey God (which we have taught our children if you disobey God that is a sing) so God sent the 'REALLY BIG FISH' to eat him up is simple and to the point, not to mention precious!

Now just yesterday she thought it would be good that her and I pray together every day for all the people that we know that 'have babies growing in their tummies' so that the 'babies can grow big and strong and be born.' Now we do at every meal pray for our Grasshopper and the 'other 6 babies' but with this request we are going to set aside a time of the day...maybe right before nap time when everyone else is laying down already...to pray specifically for the Mommies & Daddies, babies, and older siblings (were there are older kids!)

As a Mama to little ones, sometimes they are the ones to knock you off your high horse and make you realize that faith doesn't have to be as complicated as what we adults make it sometimes!

I am thankful for my children's interest in learning about God!

Baby Belly!

2010-11-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

14 weeks

15 weeks

16 weeks

17 weeks

18 weeks

20 weeks

(I was sick at 19 weeks and forgot to take a picture!)

21 weeks!

I am fearful of how big Ms. EMH is going to make my belly over the next 18 1/2 weeks! But as one of Handsome's relatives said last night, "You are short so there is no where to go but OUT!" I'll take it!

Thankful Thursday

2010-11-18T04:48:00.000-07:00

Today I am thankful for my wonderful Patch Parents! I have 5 families at this point and one family that uses me as a back up daycare and each of them are great! Everyone of them have been so understanding and helpful since we found out about the pregnancy and I appreciate it greatly!

All of my little Pumpkins are also wonderful! My pumpkins are all excited about baby 'Grasshopper' and I get to hear about that excitement daily! My youngest Pumpkin is almost 7 months old and my oldest is my daughter at 4! We have much fun day to day and look forward to the addition of two more Pumpkins in April & May of 2011!

Thank you Patch Parents for being an amazing group of people that are so thoughtful, kind, and understanding!

It's a...GIRL!!!!!

2010-11-17T13:46:00.002-07:00

We had our ultrasound today and found out that we will be adding a girl to our family in the Spring! Mom & Dad are very happy (we would have been happy either way) but Princess is especially happy with this news!

Happy Birthday Blog!

2010-11-16T09:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was my blogs 3rd birthday and I didn't even remember until today! Thank you all who have read and left comments on this in the last three years!

Tomorrow is the big Day!

2010-11-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow morning the Patch will be closed and we, as a family, will be heading to the hospital to find out if Grasshopper is a boy or girl! This is something that I have personally been looking forward to almost since we found out we were expecting! But especially since we reached the 12 week mark and looked like everything was still going strong! I would love to hear you weigh in...what do you think?

Mama ~ Girl
Daddy ~ Girl
Princess ~ Girl
Boo ~ Boy
Best Friend A~ Boy
Best Friend D~ Boy
Grandma~ Girl

It would be fun to see your comments on if it is a boy or girl!

*I have not been sick really with this pregnancy
*The heartbest started in the upper 170's, and has settled as of the last few weeks in the 150's
*I think I am carrying in the middle...but I would say low middle.

Back Track...July 3rd 2010

2010-11-15T04:27:00.002-07:00

Somewhere in June...Julyish my blog wasn't letting my upload photos. SOOOO, I am gonna do some 'catching up' here and there! Here are Princess & Boo getting some snuggles in with Grandpa!

Boo & Princess eating some yummy treats from our friend the Ice Cream Man (in the yellow truck!)

A couple shot at the rodeo...I was down 50 lbs here...before Grasshopper started the scale going the other direction!

The only picture from the rodeo I have this year....apparently I am learning to enjoy it more and take less pictures!

Tomorrow

2010-11-12T04:20:00.000-07:00

*Not a new ultrasound picture...just the latest (uncomfortable looking) one!

Tomorrow is a big milestone in our pregnancy journey, we will be 20 {twenty!} weeks! I never in my life ever imagined being here, when we found out shortly after we were married that we could have trouble with having biological children it was harsh but God had already prepared us for adoption and so we focused our efforts on growing our family through adoption. What was not without its own set of trials, but now...we ARE here. We ARE going to be half way through this pregnancy it doesn't seem real. I still have my, "wait, I'm pregnant, what?!?!?" moments...because when for 8 years you are told NO NO NO how is your mind suppose to just switch like that!

I am working on our Christmas letter and having a difficult time writing it this year. Usually I sit down one evening and have at least my draft for my husband to slice apart for my bad grammar, but I have been working on this for over a week now...and really have nothing to show for it! We have had so many changes this year, GOOD changes, but changes none the less. How do you encoperate that into a letter (year after year) without sounding unstable? God did some amazing things this year. He opened and closed some great opportunities and allowed some miracles to happen in our life as well! We could be raising support to be missionaries in Panama right now, and working on getting ready to go on our first trip down there in February. We backed out in April/May, at that time we had no idea why we just felt God closing the door. Well, first off, for the mission trip...I would be almost 8 months pregnant and both Handsome and I agreed that our next mission trip we wanted to do together, not apart! SO, God knew I would be unable to travel at that time! But He also knew there would be another adoption coming around the corner too, there were children in the USA that needed us. The stories like that are endless when it comes to the 8 1/2 years Handsome and I have been married. I am sure my mother has had many heartattacks when I called her and said we are looking at: Boston, the South, Panama, etc. etc. all so very far away from 'home.'

God does amazing things in a persons life. I look at the pain and heartache that was endured (barely) when we lost our four precious babies early in our marriage and while it was a great pain that still hurts, look at all the joy that our Princess and Boo have brought. I can honestly say we wouldn't have such a heart for adoption if Grasshopper would have come along 8 years ago! We miss our babies, I really would have loved to at least know if they were boys or girls so we could properly name them, but God has plans. So now, while we are working on all the paperwork and legal stuff to contract for adoption in the midst of this pregnancy and getting much criticism for it, that is fine. Handsome and I both know that the very day that we decided in June that it was time to start the adoption path again God already knew that Grasshopper was working on planting himself/herself into his/her cozy warm bed for the next 8 1/2 months! I was already pregnant when we knew God was leading us in the direction of adoption again, but we didn't know that I was. It was the thing farthest away from our minds because of all the medical evidance supporting the fact that I would NEVER (they did use NEVER) carry a child again!

This may not be the path you would choose for yourself or your family. This may not even be the path we would have choosen for ourselves and we have certainly made our share of mistakes along the way, but it is the path God has put out for us to travel. Besides, how cool is it that we are going to have 4 children born from four different wonderful ladies (3 more amazing than myself) and 2 of our children will have been born here in our hometown and two in the same (most likely) hospital in a very large state 23 hours away from here!

We are thankful for where God has led us to be. We are thankful for our life God has given us. We are thankful for our Princess, Boo, Grasshopper, and whomever God is going to bring into our lives through our wonderful Family to Family Adoptions, Inc! I am excited about what the next year will bring!

Thankful Thursday

2010-11-11T04:54:00.000-07:00

This week I am thankful for my amazing husband! I could not even begin to explain all the things he has done in the past few months while we have so much on our plate. With my pregnancy being one of certain risks, there has not been much tht I could do...so he has taken up my slack, along with his regular work, and doing as much on the house project as he can to save money! This is one amazing man and I am very thankful that God saw fit for us to be together! What a blessing he is to me, my children, my family...and I see him being a blessing to other people often too! I am greatly blessed to have Handsome as my husband...thank you Lord for such a strong, Godly man!

Family Pictures 2010

2010-11-10T04:18:00.002-07:00

I couldn't decide which one of my 'favorites' really were my favorites, so be prepared for LOTS of pictures in this post!

(Though I think the very first picture {which is the first picture of the entire day} would be my favorite if it would have been warm enough for Princess to be without her purple sweatshirt!)

Keep an eye on Boos silly faces throughout the photo shoot!

Clearly a family of 5, rather than of four! Grasshopper is making his/her presence known via my huge belly!

Thought this was a cute idea...don't know if one of them will make the Christmas Card cut, but a cute picture anyway!

I think this one is my favorite of the kissing ones!

Again, love this picture...just not the purple!

This picture isn't turned like this when I upload it...but then every time it comes onthe blog it is....sorry for the uncomfortable twist you will have to do to view it straight on!

Like this one alot! Grasshopper is the center of attention!

One week until we know if Grasshopper is a boy or girl!

Lake Benton isn't as beautiful as our Hills, but the lake is a fun back drop!

Possible Christmas Card contender!

Or maybe this one!

This one is fun too...so many choices! Hopefully I will be able to steal my husband for a while and get our Christmas Cards ordered so they are ready by Thanksgiving!

Boo Bear

2010-11-09T04:12:00.000-07:00

Boo has always had so many different faces that just are too cute, it was a fun day with him to see what he came up with!

Love this one!

His, "I'm up to something" face!

He was suppose to be my little boy forever, and now it seems he isn't so little any more! He told me yesterday that he was ready to be a big brother and more of a helper to Mama! Too sweet!

Princess

2010-11-08T04:04:00.002-07:00

It just isn't right that kids grow up so fast! Looking at these pictures, I do not even see toddler...but I do see a big girl!

My beautiful little Princess!

Princess & her Daddy!

Princess loves to dance!

Love this one!

Pretty Pretty Princess!

Family Pictures 2010

2010-11-05T10:04:00.000-06:00

It is getting more difficult to get everyone smiling and happy in the same picture!

Probably the last professional (I would consider you pro Barb!) photo of just two children...next scheduled ones are for Mothers Day and Grasshopper should be at least a month old then!

Thankful Thursday

2010-11-04T09:13:00.000-06:00

I am thankful for having a reason to be proud of my belly! I by no means think it is beautiful or attractive, but am very thankful for the reason that I have a belly to be proud of! These pictures were taken at 18 weeks, thanks to a great friend!

I went against everything in me and allowed a few bare belly pics...this, however, is the only one you will see on here! The rest are for the privacy of my eyes to look at! Not that they are racy, just that I don't show off my mid-section!

Thankful for Grasshopper! 9 days until we are half way, 13 days until we find out if we are having a boy or girl!

ER Follow-Up

2010-11-03T07:32:00.000-06:00

So I had my doctor appointment yesterday that was suppose to follow up to my ER trip and the doctor said that she believes that I am having growing pains, just very bad ones. They said that they may come and they may go, but it is something I should just get used to! I don't know how you get used to someone stabbing you in the belly (that is what it feels like...regularily!) But, I know getting used to it is better than living on the pain meds they gave me that have narcotics in them!

Grasshoppers heartbeat was back up in the 150's which in my opinion is better than the 144 the got on Sunday night! While the news we received was good {at least I am some what normal...kind of} it has me back to the 'taking it easy' frame of life. I also cannot travel home for Thanksgiving, but my parents might be coming to our house...so we won't be alone at least. And then maybe, just maybe, we might be able to go 'home' for Christmas! That would be good so we can all be together!

Now today marks 10 days from our half way point, and 2 weeks from {hopefully} knowing if Grasshopper is a little girl or a little boy! So excited!

Trip to ER...

2010-11-01T10:44:00.000-06:00

This past weekend we made the trip across the state to see my parents/family & also to have our Christmas pictures/belly pictures/Boos birthday pictures, and other fun shots taken. The trip there was rather uneventful (thankfully,) we stopped no less than every 1 1/2 hours so I could walk...get something to drink and that sort. That kind of trip is my idea of fun...it included two different malls!

We were able to meet up with my parents, brother & his wife for supper. There was some family drama on my husbands side that took up the rest of the night. Kids got to bed late and I couldn't sleep...great way to get good family pictures the next morning!

Met up with a wonderful lady from my home town and she snapped away for 3 hours! We had several different locations we tried out, it was pretty fun and I think we may have managed to capture one good family picture to send out for Christmas! 8-) My mom took us out for lunch afterward and we drove over to spend a little time with my husbands parents. I was able to sneek in a short nap before leaving the kids with my wonderful sister-in-law so we could have a date to the Olive Garden! HOW WONDERFUL! We had about 3 1/2 hours of just us time to talk about lots of things that we hadn't had a chance to chat about lately! When we arrived home the kids were sleeping (great job Seester!) and we had a time of midnight coffee (not me!) and doughnuts! It was great fun!

Sunday morning I woke up rested, but not feeling well. So we took it kind of lazy and didn't hurry to get on the road. I ate breakfast, drank some water & juice and we finally decided to head home just after noon. About 2 hours into our 7 hour journey I started having cramping pains in the right side of my belly. They were dull, but almost constant along with my hands and feet swelling up to crazy sizes!

I finally decided I was going to call in and see what they thought. With all the travels they figured my body was just reacting to that and lack of water...they suggested I drink at least a liter of water and get my feet up and if in a couple hours it didn't stop that I come in. It didn't stop, in fact it progressed and we ended up going to the ER before we even went home!

Grasshopper was fine, bouncing around (actually dancing) on my bladder, doing acrobatics all over in my belly but his/her heartbeat was slower than it had been, but still in the normal range. They gave me an IV for fluids and ran some tests. It may have something to do with one of the cysts on my left ovary, I go in to my regular doctor tomorrow afternoon to be checked out again. The pains are still there, but they sent me home with a list of things to do...eat more bananas, drink lots of water, rest\take it easy, and if any of a list of things changed or got worse to come back.

Scary! And still is! But we are watching it and we will now be watched even more...again! I am not suppose to travel farther than an hour away until further notice and have pain meds for if it gets too unbearable!

If you think about it...would you mind praying for Grasshopper? I know they said at this point he/she was not at risk, but it still makes me nervous!

We did get an ultrasound picture last night...18 weeks 1 day, Grasshopper is all crooked necked in there!

Thankful Thursday (finally!)

2010-10-28T10:06:00.000-06:00

So I have thinking about the past and future alot lately. We have lived in 6 houses (well one was a church basement..but you know) in our 8 years of marriage...have had somehere around 14 cars (no less, maybe more...but 4 were free), 6 churches, 5 pregnancies, 4 miscarriages, 2 adoptions, 16 foster children, I don't remember how many rounds of fertility treatments, several jobs, and countless times of joy, trial, laughter, tears, sleepless nights, and you could go on and on about what the last 8 1/2 years have held for Handsome and myself.

I remember being so excited to buy our first house together in 2003 (a turn key 4 bedroom (we turned into 5) with basement, main level, & upstairs...fenced in backyard...beautiful trees, garage...oh it was amazing for $35,000! I remember that all 4 of our precious angel babies were in that house...I remember feeling so sad when we sold that house in 2006 because it held so many good memories! I couldn't imagine selling that beautiful house...but we did, and we sold it for $65,000!

I remember being so excited to build our next house. Making plans for a babies room (we were thick in adoption right then) and where we would put our Christmas Tree and things of that sort. But it came down to it we sold the house so we could afford to raise our two babies!

I remember being so sad that I had to bring my two babies home to a church basement...we didn't even have a real home at that time. I remember being grossed out when they learned to crawl there, learned to 'sort of' go up stairs there...and being so dissappointed in myself that I was late for church most of the time...AND I LIVED THERE!

I remember being so thrilled to move into the parsonage because of the space...and it being clean....and allowing the kids to have bedrooms...and having a real kitchen with a real dinning room...and our OWN bathroom! Our kids learned how to really go up stairs here, and walk here, and we went through most of Boo's medical trials here, and we were excited the day we started fertility treatments here...we housed so many wonderful people and memories here. We had a beautiful rose garden and fun windows and a 'daycare room' and our Meshach and Nema had 2 different sets of puppies here. But at the same time this place really separated our family. Handsome was so busy with his electrical job and with the pastorate that it didn't leave much time for family. I went through some really tough times with the PCOS and if effected my normally bubbly nature and I was drained from having to young ones, one of them being VERY sick.

Now we are here...at this place in life were again...so much is happening. Struggles with trying to figure out what to do. Our marriage and relationship is stronger and more solid than it ever has been. But we are also adding on to our house, our family, and our daycare! As I type the workers are out putting walls up on what will be Boo's room...or the boys room and little Grasshopper is swimming around inside of me...all 6 inches of him/her! AND I have at least 2 of my Patch moms who are experiencing the same thing, one is about 3 weeks behind me and the other about 8 weeks behind me. But we also are going ahead with another adoption. We should have all the paperwork signed and be contracted by the end of November...fitting, as it is National Adoption Awareness month! We very realistically could be looking at Grasshopper having a brother or sister very close in age

There is so much history in 8 1/2 years...but one thing that has not changed in that time is God. He has been there through it all and while it isn't always easy to lean on Him...we have. I know personally I could not have made it through all the trials the last 8 years have brought without my personal relationship with Jesus Christ my Savior! Being a Mama to a boy that I was afraid to check on him first thing in the morning because I was sure he wasn't going to be with us any more! Getting pregnant 4 times and loosing each one so early in their little lives. The adoption process, marriage, church, people, oh how difficult it would have been without God!

Do you look at your life sometimes and wonder WHY?!? Do you ever look around and think it is all pointless? If you do maybe you should seek to find God...with God all things are possible, in His time. I believe our 8 years can be a testiment to that. We wanted to adopt SO BAD and in HIS time it happened. We tried fertility treaments and 3 years later in His time Grasshopper came around with no medical help. We prayed to be used of Him and sometimes almost forced the issue, but in His time the church that we were suppose to be with came knocking on our door! Seriously over and over you can see how God is still in the miracle business and He wants to be working them in your life! You just need to call on Him!

"For the wages of sin is death, BUT THE GIFT OF GOD IS ETERNAL LIFE THROUGH JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD!" Romans 6:2

I am thankful for our history...but more than anything, for my relationship with my Heavenly Father!

Camping Trip 7.23/24.10, Part III

2010-10-27T05:48:00.002-06:00

We really live in a beautiful place!

Handsome, Big J, Princess, & Boo going out for a morning of fishing...the kids' first time!

Postcard Perfect! It was beautiful there!

Can you see our Fisher-People?

Our friends have a great black lab named Trigger...this couple and their 16 month old daughter came over to watch as A was throwing Trigs ball into the water over and over again...the little girl thought it was fun!

We have talked about going there again next year, for two nights instead of one, but it will be interesting since our friends will have their first baby Jan/Feb, our Grasshopper will come Mar/Apr, and we may also have our precious little adopted bundle by then too! We shall see...needless to say it was tons of fun and a beautiful location! A great time was had by all!