It will bring tears, I PROMISE!

I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

8 Years

8 Years ago today started like any other day, though there was a question in the back of my mind for several weeks already.  A question that was answered with bad news.  Handsome was an Associate Pastor at the time and it was a Saturday.  We went to church like many other Saturdays and were going to be there when a mission group arrived, they were also going to be presenting our church's Christmas program the next day!  That mission group had car trouble or a snow storm or something that didn't allow them to make it.  So, our little church family pulled together that Saturday afternoon/evening to bring a Christmas program for the church people the next day!  As we worked I started feeling pretty tough, but didn't want to back out of my duties so tried to write it off.  That question keep playing in my mind, "Am I pregnant?"  "Are we going to be starting our family?"  As the afternoon rolled on, the cramping got worse and worse and I actually got physically sick.  Somewhere around 8:30 that evening I excused myself and went to the bathroom...where I met our baby.  Now he or she was too small to know that I had just met our precious little bundle...but blood tests later confirmed that I had been expecting and that he or she had been promoted to Heaven.  I remember being sad to learn this news, but at the same time I remember thinking something along the lines of 'it is common for couples to experience miscarriage the first time around.'  I did greive our first, but not as much as our second, third or fourth.  I did not fully understand what road we were starting down.  Since I was about 14 I was told I would not have children.  But this time around there was comfort in the fact that we were indeed able to become pregnant...

Well, at that point I was 20 years old.  That also began a rough battle with finding God's path for our family growth.  Little did I know that just 3 years later we would become parents to our Princess whom was carrying and born from another lady...not me. 

Amazing enough, God did allow us to become pregnant a second, third, fourth, and fifth time.  As you know the last pregnancy was the only baby we have been able to meet on this side of Heaven!  However!  We have hope!  Both Handsome and myself have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour, we know that one day when our life on earth is over that we will spend eternity in Heaven...where we will meet our first four children!

Time can heal many things, though I do not believe that time can heal a mother's greiving heart.  Sure, time will allow the pain of the loss of a child to be less of a sting...but the only real cure for the greif of a lost child is the Love of Christ!

At this time of year it is easy for many to put on their Christian caps and walk around proclaiming what God has done for us.  But it is this time of year that we celebrate the LIFE of Christ, He was born as a baby.  Many forget about the fact that he also died for our sins, and rose again! 

I have gotten to the point that I am thankful that God brought us through the difficult path.  My living children do not take the place of my children that have passed, but without the miscarriages I am fairly certain that I would not have Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake or Love Bug! 

I do wonder what it would be like had this pregnancy that ended so early 8 years ago been successful...what different dynamic it would have brought to our life.  But it was not God's plan at the time.  I look forward to knowing that one day I will spend eternity with my precious babies.

Makes you think!

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher

Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico

One was headin' for vacation, one for higher education

And two of them were searchin' for lost souls

That driver never saw the stop sign

And 18 wheelers can't stop on a dime

There were three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them Heaven only knows

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest, a home and 80 acres

The faith and love for growin' things in his young sons heart

And that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children

Did her best to give 'em all a better start

And that preacher whispered, "Can you see the promised land?"

As he lay his blood stained Bible in that hookers hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them Heaven only knows

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

That's the story that our Preacher told last Sunday

As he held that blood stained Bible up for all of us to see

He said, "Bless the farmer and the teacher and the preacher

who gave this Bible to my momma who read it to me."

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them now I guess we know

It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

 
 
So, my husband and I really enjoy Randy Travis songs...especially "Forever and Ever Amen".  We were fortunate enough to go to one of his concerts when he was in town a few years ago and what a blessing it was!  One of my favorite date nights with Handsome!  This morning when I was in the shower, "Three Wooden Crosses" came on my iPod and as I was singing the words really stabbed me in the heart!  How often do we over look the "least of these" in this world?  That pastors heart was in the right place as he lay there in his last few moments he was still thinking about eternity and making sure others knew about Jesus!  Think of how many people his last few moments impacted simply because he cared enough for that lady that many others probably snubbed because of her 'job!'  But he has enough compassion in his heart to share Jesus with her, she went on to teach her son about Christ -who then became a Preacher who's word was heart by many! 

I know that I cam guilty of looking past some people at times because I am too busy or because I am wrapped up in my own life...but I pray that I can change that around here.  It will take steps because, lets face it...I am kind of busy right now...but that doesn't mean I cannot share my Jesus with others when given the chance! 

This song, silly as it may seem, literally brought tears to my eyes this morning and made me think of how much I appreciate our Pastor who does not over look others...he has a heart for everyone and wants everyone to hear about Jesus!  Thank you to him and his wife for sharing their lives and hearts with our little town! 

"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ "

Matthew 25:40 ESV