Thankful Thursday ~ 2.24.11

You are probably getting tired of hearing about how amazing my husband is by now.  But really, I do not know how we would have made it through this pregnancy without his amazingness!

He is so caring and loving and protective of myself and our little Cupcake!  We found out yesterday that I am starting to dialate just a little and that I needed to 'chill out' so he is checking up on me and once again has taken over all household responsibilities.  I basically just run my daycare during the day and rest in the evenings.  Though for how often I get up I am seriously considering going to bed right after work and doing the up and down thing until morning!  Haaha!

He is making sure with the melting snow and then freezing ice that I do not walk without a good grip on his arm and making sure I am eating well to provide enough nutrition for Cupcake.  Tonight even though he has been busy every night this week instead of relaxing he will be hanging up the wall decor for the nursery because this pregnant lady cannot dream of bringing a baby home to an 'unfinished' nursery (and my parents are coming this weekend {as long as they can get through the snow} and I would really like to show off the mostly completed nursery to them!

Anyway, I am thankful for the amazing husband that God has blessed me with.  I do not know why I was so fortunate to be the woman to marry this man....but seriously, I don't deserve how amazing he is. 

I love you Handsome...you are the most AMAZING husband and AWESOME daddy anyone could ask for!

Hugs

Some people think hugs are just something little...I think a hug is a huge encouragment and a way to share your love (whatever love it may be) with someone.  You can tell someone you are concerned, you understand, you love them, you hurt for them, you celebrate with them, and many other things through a simple hug.  Nothing has to be said, but a hug can say it all!

Our Pastor gives me a hug often and asks, "how are you doing/feeling"...do you know that really says something to me!?!?

A 'almost' family member that has been around our family since my dad was a little boy is this tiny little lady but she gives the most amazing hugs!  Whenever we get 'home' and go to church in LB I always look forward to seeing Judy and getting caught up in the strong grip of her hugs!  It amazes me how strong she is! 

I get hugs from my little Pumpkins often, just tonight two sisters were going out the door and I asked if I could have a hug and before I knew it I was getting hugs from them and another little boy! 

A friend of mine who has a 6 week old baby while she was still pregnant would hug me and wiggle and joke about how our babies were playing together! 

My husband just last weekend, I was sitting on our bed crying because of some hurt that was caused by another person and while he didn't know what to say...Handsome came beside me and held me in a tight hug and let me cry.  Sometimes you don't need words, you just need a hug!

Princess has taken to hugging my belly so Cupcake doesn't get left out!

The list can go on and on about what a hug can do.  I will never forget some peoples hugs...my Grandma A used to pat me on the back every time she hugged me.  My Grandpa D used to squeeze very tight while saying 'bye-bye now'at the same time.  I will never forget how my little Pumpkin R squeezes my neck so hard when he wakes up I almost think I need to make a chiropractor appointment!  Or Judy's hug...or how my cousin C hugged me on my wedding day and whispered 'you look beautiful'...I don't remember ever getting a hug from him before! 

Hugs are amazing...and while I do not suggest just running up to random strangers and giving them a hug to boost their day, I do suggest maybe adding a hug here and there to friends and family that you love 'just because!' 

Yes, I am thankful for HUGS!

Thankful um *Thursday*

So I really need to officially change it to Thankful Friday because most of the time it actually comes on Friday! One of these days I am going to start pre-posting and then lovebeingmama will be back to daily posts! I have heard your requests to get back in the swing of things...and I will work on getting better~

But for today...I have to give some thanks to my Husband. I have been totally bogged down with the Patch lately and just exausted at the end of the day and he has been such a blessing! Even though he works hard all day he still musters up enough to help make super (and sometimes do it by himself) and he helps with major house cleaning, laundry, dishes, etc etc.

But this week especially, I must be fighting something off because by 6 I am wiped out...plus we had a feverish little girl for a day and a half so a good night of sleep was lost. That evening he took it upon himself to not only completly scrub the kitchen clean, but also to cook supper for the family! It was so appreciated, I was able to focus on the Princess and doing what needed to be done to get her fever down!

This isn't out of the norm for Handsome to help out. He respects the fact that I work from 7 to 5:30 and realizes that while I am at home all day, I cannot possibly keep up with all the stuff that needs to happen around here with so many little ones under foot that need me.

I really do not know how I could have found a better guy, he is the best and I love him more than words can even begin to explain!

Thankful Thursday, ahem, I mean Friday

Well, it has been one of those weeks, the kind that is basically a roller coaster ride that you cannot get off of! {Part of life with PCOS}

Anyway, my thankful post this week is going to be directed to my mom & dad. I am so thankful for the way that they stand beside us even if they are not on the same page. The love us, and they love our adopted children (apparently this is difficult for some other family members) with an unconditional GRANDPARENT kind of love (aka ~ spoil them rotten.)

But before there was grandchildren there was just us as a couple and before that there was just me their daughter. While I was a rather confusing teenager, and had a VERY strong opinion of my own (and most of the time acted on my own thoughts and beliefs) they still were there every time I needed to talk, or needed help with something, or even if I needed gas money! Sometimes I wish you could remember more from your younger days because it would be fun to remember what they were like at parents from my toddler years...but I know one thing, they sacrificed often for my brother and I. And even though I grew up to be someone far different than they could ever have imagined, I grew up to be someone that has alot of them in me too!

We were blessed enough to be able to be with them over Father's Day weekend, and now my mother will be getting in her car and driving the 7 hour drive any minute! We get to have her from today until a week from Sunday...Daddy will be joining her next week sometime to celebrate the 4th as a family. It is always so wonderful to have them around! We are thankful!

Thankful Thursday

There is a couple that really deserves an entire post, they sure have been a blessing & encouragement to us even before the latest disaster (being told we had until January 30th to get out of the parsonage the week before Christmas.) We bought our suburban from them in January 2008, and Handsome has continued to get to know them after that. I didn't really get to know them until the issue, but have gotten to know them well since.

Mark & Teresa are some of the most caring people you could ever meet. It just so happened to be that when we needed a place to live 'at the drop of the hat' they had a home for sale. They were willing to even help us out a bit until Pumpkin Patch DC is two years old and the bank recognizes it as income! To go through and list every single thing that they have done to help us out in the last 6 month would 1st off, embarrass them...but secondly be so long you guys would get bored! I used to joke around with Teresa about us being so needy and how I didn't understand why they would want to be around us because every time we turned around we needed help again! Well that all culminated on March 6th when I fell and knocked myself unconscious on the ice. After I was allowed to leave the ER that night Teresa came up and put her arm around me and said, "A, this sure bring your being needy to a whole new level!" I thought that was funny...and it has only been brought up jokingly since.

Our children have also fallen in love with these great people. The kids love to go to their house and spend time there, and I couldn't be happier with the fact that they are willing to watch our kids!

Well, I could go on and on about these great people....but they are definitely two people that we have come to love dearly over the last 6 months. People that I am so thankful that God allowed us to cross paths with!

***Countdown to my Birthday: 6 days!

Thankful Thursday

This week I am thankful for something that is so little, but yet makes such a big difference in life! LAUGHTER! Oh how glorious it is to hear someone laugh, but when that someone is a little someone...it just rocks your world. I have the pleasure of being a Mommy to 2 of the best kids in the world and they both happen to be around 2 1/2 years old right now. Don't get me wrong, there are days that are less than wonderful in the attitude department...BUT with them around there is A LOT of giggles and laughing happening in our home. Throw in 4-6 other less than three year olds with the Patch and we have a regular giggle fest! I don't know how many of you know of Patch the Pirate....but on the Afraidica Fever CD there are these giggle bugs. And there are days I do believe that my children slept with the giggle bugs because they wake up just CrAzY SiLLy! Oh how much fun to see little ones play together and enjoy each others company so much that they just laugh and giggle!

You try being grumpy on a day the giggle bugs have visited your littles...it just doesn't work out!

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful for at least one faithful working computer in our house! I am again, using my husbands computer because my computer came back to me not working properly. If I am paying $45/hr for them to fix it, it should work when it comes back! So this means no pics on the blog until it comes back!

Now for the real ~ Thankful Thursday ~ post (that was just the appetiser!)

This week has been kind of rainy & dreary, which for most people would be bad...and on the Daycare front it is...our house isn't big enough to be trapped inside three days in a row! BUT, on the beauty of God's creation side...it is GORGEOUS!

I had an eye doctor appointment last evening and did some grocery shopping afterward and on the way home I wished that I (#1) Had my camera to take pictures for you, not that I could upload them anyway! and (#2) could have stopped and taken it all in for just a few minutes or so! The way the rainy spring clouds were blowing over the beautiful hills was just AMAZING! Now I have tooted the "We live in the most beautiful place EVER" horn probably a million times on this blog...mostly because we do...but seriously folks, this was absolute WONDER! God's work at its FINEST!

The other side of having some wonderful spring rains is that everything around here is green, blooming and just plain lovely! I love Spring, it doesn't beat Fall in my eyes...but it is a close second!

I am so thankful for this wonderful Spring-like weather!

Thankful Thursday

This last weekend we were able to take advantage of the long weekend and go back and spend time with my family! It is always nice to be able to go back to the farm and do farm things with our children. We went for 4-wheeler rides, went to the SF Zoo, caught up with some friends from the past, planted flowers on the graves of my Grandparents & Great Grandparents, had 2 bonfires (with s'mores the 2nd night), went to the park, listened to stories about my mom & dad in their teenage years, explored some of where Handsome used to live (and pocketed a sword he made as a little boy), more 4-wheeler rides, ate at Olive.Garden, saw some extended family, slept in, and just had an all around grand time!

There will be pictures and videos to come in the next couple of weeks here on the blog, but it really made me realize how very much I love to be around family. Mom & Dad were great hosts, it was fun to see my brother playing at the park with my kiddos (and my mother who thinks she is a kid!) It was great to spend a day at the zoo with my aunt, her granddaughter, her sons gf, my SIL, my Mom, Handsome, Princess, & Boo! The bonfire the first night was full of people and it was OH so interesting! The bonfire the second night was really fun with just my mom & dad, Handsome, and myself! There were memories made this trip, memories that my children will probably be able to remember. There were times I wished I had my camera for that special kodak moment, for example when my husband took Princess and knelt down beside my Grandmothers grave (the one Princess is named after) and explained to her that this is a very special, godly woman who we felt was so important that we gave her name to our very important daughter...it was special! Or when Boo was helping Grandpa plant the flowers at my other grandparents graves...who would have thought to bring their camera to plant flowers at the cemetery!

But what a wonderful weekend, I am thankful for my family and how they love us for US!

Thankful Thursday

Today I am thankful for letters & cards received by way of the good old fashion USPS! You know the ones, they require someone to actually pick up a pen! Well with Mothers Day being last Sunday, I was fortunate enough to receive a card from my very own mother on this glorious day (there were too many Mothers Days' that brought tears and a heavy heart for it not to be glorious now!) This card had a good start even before opening it it has the gold.crown on the outside! It was one of those tri-fold connections cards, you know the ones that have a way of saying EXACTLY what you were thinking but couldn't put into words...yeah, the best! Well this one was actually for a Mother to give to her Daughter that was now a Mother herself...still with me? Anyway, it was beautiful and very sweet. My mother has a way of personalizing cards...and that makes each one from her special! I was thankful for this card that my Handsome and I walked to get from the mailbox at midnight Saturday! Just in time for the big day.

Then Sunday after church there were two more cards laying where I could find them. I opened the one that said "We Love You Mommy" first. And with the help of their Daddy, Princess & Boo told me how much they love me and appreciate all the work that is done for them and that they know they are a handful sometimes but know I can handle it because I am the best! How sweet is that!

The one I saved for last said "To my wonderful wife & a fantastic mom." I always love getting cards from my Handsome the best because even though he doesn't think what the actual card says means anything, he does take time to read them and pick out just the right one for me! The front of it said, "Someday many years from now, we'll look back on this crazy time in our life together and wonder how we did it all... I'll sit close beside you and take your hand in mine. We'll look at each other and say 'I'd do it all again...and I wouldn't change a thing.' " When you opened it up it said, "There's no one I'd rather go through life with than you...my partner, my love, my wife. Happy Mother's Day." He then wrote, "You are the best mother our children could ever have. I know that all the other stuff in life seems to cause distractions from all you want to do as a mom - but you do very well handling it all and raising our children in a godly, respectful way. I am proud of you and I love you very much - Handsome." (He didn't sign in Handsome...he signed with his name.) Those words, coming from the man I love with all of my heart were enough, they will ring in my head for a very long time. You see, I have this thought that because of the way things have turned out and me needing to work (even though it is daycare in our home) that my children are being sacrificed, I wanted them so badly and then they get a second rate life. But my husband thinks that they are okay and thankful to be with me...even though I have several other little ones to care for at any given time. And that means everything to me!

I know it is on a tangent yet again, but when you start thinking about being thankful...things just start rolling in your mind. But today, I am thankful for the 3 beautiful cards that came on a day that I used to ignore...a day that even hurt to send my own mother a card...a day that now I can be included in. I was able to stand up in church with the other moms and have my two beautiful children bring me one red rose from each of them! Oh how wonderful! For this, I am THANKFUL!

Thankful Thursday

Bright Blue Sky & White Fluffy Clouds hanging over beautiful green grass!
I just love this time of year, we do not always get to have all the green out here. In fact the Spring is really the only time and it is beautiful! After 3 huge snowstorms and a week of grey dreary weather after that, this is welcome. There is just something that can be said about how sunshine does good for a person! We have been outside every day this week and it has been great.

I am very thankful for living in such a beautiful place, next time you are in our neck of the woods...check out our sky! It truly is a brighter blue than anywhere else I have been!
Thank makes me smile, and for this I am thankful!

(This picture was taken just yesterday while the Patch was at the park!)

Happy Birthday Dear Husband of Mine!!!

Since my dear husbands birthday is today it only makes sense to be thankful for him, right? I know, I know, he was the subject of my Thankful Thursday post not that long ago...but after almost 7 years of marriage there are more that one post worth of things to be thankful for my husband for.

But seriously, I have had other ladies tell me that if they ever heard me say a bad thing about my husband they were going to get me because they just couldn't see anything wrong with him. Most of the time this is true (he is still human!) So since it is his 33rd birthday, I am going to list 33 things I like &/or love about him...
1. his smile
2. he has a big heart
3. the way he looks after really enjoying a meal I cooked for him
4. the way he takes so much care in having older, but nice & clean looking vehicles...have you seen how clean his truck is?
5. the way he can juggle both kids when they pile on his lap
6. the number of years he has been stuck with me
7. how he has put up with my emotional roller coaster called PCOS
8. how good he is at planting roses...we really should have kept a tally of how many you have planted for me!
9. how he has relaxed about life in general since we had children
10. how handsome he looks while he is singing with the praise team at church
11. the way he appreciates my blog
12. that he 'kicks' me out of the house once a week for me time
13. he isn't afraid to cook or clean
14. that he was in love with the thought of adoption
15. how he reads the Bible story to the kids every night
16. he knows something about everything
17. how quickly he learns new things
18. that he loves my family as much as I do
19. how crazy he gets when driving a stroller!
20. his tender heart
21. how if he wants a treat that he knows I love he will let me 'break' my rules so I don't have to watch him eat it
22. how he almost ALWAYS gets out of stinky diapers changes! (that is something to be amazed about with all the diapers changed at our house!)
23. how he has taken on folding the laundry as his task
24. how not being able to have children naturally didn't even throw him off his game
25. how much he loves me
26. that he is okay with the fact that I am not okay with some of his family
27. his laugh...the real, this is something that gets all the way to my belly, laugh
28. that is not legalistic
29. how he needs me to help him buy clothes
30. his faith
31. that he is always up for an adventure
32. how hard he works
33. how he is able to find good in everything

Now they are in no particular order, some silly, some serious...but I love him, all 33 years of him!

Thankful Thursday

I have been a little behind on my posting the last two days, but today I want to share my thankfulness of just a handful of the ways in which I have seen God work miracles, love, give mercy, and give grace over the last few years.

* Bringing J & I together and looking at our 7th (cannot believe it) anniversary this summer!
* We have children, two wonderful, beautiful , children!
* Our son is still with us, do you realize that it was just over a year ago that we 'found' his allergies and now he is a healthy & ALMOST normal 2 year old boy!
* He continues to provide for our needs it isn't always it an over abundance...but if we always had enough we all might be a little less likely to rely on God now wouldn't we?!?
* Friends, for the first time in a VERY long time we feel like we are surrounded with wonderful people. Of course E&M have been around for a couple of years now but we also have been meeting a ton of new friends that are just wonderful and godly and we are thankful.
* Even though it may not be the answer we were looking for, being diagnosed with PCOS is an answer...it is nice to know why I am broken and that if we had all the money in the world there could be things that could be done about it!
* I am thankful we do not have an easy street. DON'T GET ME WRONG! I wouldn't mind not having all of the trials all of the time, but by the same token...the trials we have seen in our married life have molded us into new people. We still need that molding and will for the rest of our lives, but my husband says he loves who I am now better than the person he married 7 years ago....and I feel the same way about him!

I could go on and on, but I challenge you to do the same. I have a problem with looking at the negatives and right now is one of those times...Jason always says when it seems I have nothing to be thankful for, those are the times that I need to be thanking!

My Blog...or blogs in general!

If you haven't started a blog of your own, you probably are going to think I am crazy, if you have one...you know what I am talking about!

I posted my first post on April 27th, 2007. My children were 7 & 4 months old. It was about that day and our new 2 ring blow up pool. Pretty cute they were, who would have known what that first post would lead to! My only regret about blogging since then: I didn't start sooner! I know that I have been spotty in trying to keep our life updated for you all to see, but being a mom to two 2 year olds and having a daycare kind of keeps me on my toes!

To the thankful part...I would have NEVER guessed how much I would enjoy 'airing out my laundry' for whomever wants to read. Sure, part of it is keeping all of our family members up to date about the newest craziness that is going on in our lives...but another part of it is just a way of expression. I used to write poems to express myself. I believe the last one I ever wrote was after our 3rd miscarriage back on January 20th of 2005. Life got pretty busy after that, and I needed a new way of expression. Look at all we have been through together on lovebeingmama.blogspot.com !

I know that there are times that it isn't beneficial for all of my family to be reading and seeing every tiny little thing that I post about, but my #1 thing that I want to be remembered for was being REAL! What you see is what you get.

So on this Thankful Thursday you get to hear ramblings, just tidbits of why I keep doing this! For those of you who do not blog yet, try it! And those of you that do, thank you ~ I so enjoy reading yours, almost as much as I enjoy keeping mine up.

Go blog hunting one day and see what you come across...I have lost track of how many I follow via google reader...it is one of the first things I do in the morning and one of the last before bed at night...go check to see who else has posted! If I don't check it over the weekend I usually have 100+ posts to read...wow!

I am thankful for blogging!

Where we live....

I am thankful for where we live. While growing up on the other end of the state it was a big deal to come to the Black Hills on vacation. As a family we tried two different times (I believe) and didn't make it out either. I had to wait until our honeymoon to get out here! Aside from the pure beauty of living in this area, there are all sorts of fun things around. Here is a list of some attractions that we have done and then some we have not but would like to do over the next few years, along with their sites so you can check them out yourself!

Have Done:
*Driving through Spearfish Canyon is always beautiful!
*Bear Country USA (one of my Favs!), Rapid City
*Reptile Gardens, Rapid City
*Several different Caves in the area, we have been to Rushmore & Jewel, I liked Rushmore Cave better of the two.
*Presidential Wax Museum, Hill City (I believe) It is a little 'old' for the kids to enjoy this but if you have an interest in our country's history it is lots of fun (or if you are like me and didn't really pay attention in History ~ I liked to have the visual to go along with the word tour)!
*Mount Rushmore, Keystone
*Crazy Horse, near Custer
*Devil's Tower, near Hulett Wyoming

Have Not Done:
*Roo Ranch, Deadwood
*Storybook Island (free), Rapid City
*The 1880 Train Ride, starts in Hill City goes to Keystone and back

I am sure there is more that I am forgetting and even more stuff I don't even know about...though I do hope this is helpful for you and if you need a place to stay or need anything while you are here please feel free to let us know! Just try not to come the first 2 weeks of August because everything costs so much more and is super busy with the Sturgis Bike Rally!

I am so thankful that the Lord has brought us out here, we live in what I believe is the most beautiful part of our state...and honestly one of the most beautiful places I have visited! In addition to that we have GREAT friends that we enjoy spending time with so often. We have an AWESOME church and church family that we have loved getting to know over the last few months. Both J & myself enjoy our jobs and we believe it is a great blessing to be able to live here and be living the life that God has for us! If you are in the area look us up...the H Hotel is always open!

Our Adoption Agency

I have decided that my "Thankful Thursday" post should be about our adoption agency: Family to Family Adoptions, Inc. So as not to ramble on and on, when we started the process we had signed a contract with a different agency & they falsely matched us 26 times and took around $10,000 of our money.

Enter the wonderful Family to Family! There are not really words to explain what I think of the ladies at F2F, they were so wonderful to work with and so caring. We drove 27 hours straight through to get from our Midwest home to Texas and arrived at the hospital when our beautiful baby was 22 hours old! We made a stop by the agencies office to do some paperwork first, but they only did what we HAD to do at that moment because they knew how badly we wanted to meet our little one! The faces of these ladies are forever in my memory, their sweet spirits and great smiles were just heart warming. When we first arrived we met P (secretary), J (our contact person), D (helped us with paperwork, and B (who went with us to the hospital.) We later met M (the founder of F2F) and R (who we were in most contact with dealing with legals afterwards.) Each and every one of these ladies played a very important part of growing our family and to them I am forever grateful! We are currently praying that we would be able to work with Family to Family again.

If you would like more information about adoption, please feel free to contact me through this blog or visit the Family to Family site here.

THANK YOU FAMILY TO FAMILY ADOPTIONS!

Today I think my wonderful husband deserves to be the object of my 'Thankful Thursday' post! I could not have asked for a more perfect husband! I mean what other guy would take a day off from work to watch MY daycare kids so that I could show up for jury duty...twice! And then the same day come home from work to find his wife sick in bed, let her sleep, feed the kids supper, get me Sprite, fold the laundry, organize my desk, work on my back, and just all around be wonderful? My husband is WONDERFUL!

He is a great family man, now that he has a little extra time on his hands family has become one of his favorite activities! On Saturdays AG & I have the morning together while EE & Daddy have sleep in, have breakfast, and make thei coffee rounds and then in the after noon we do something fun as a family!

He is the absolute best Daddy I know! What a special person he is. Our kids worship him, they come running to the door when he gets off from work and hardly let him in because they are tugging on both legs. You will have a hard time finding a Daddy that loves his kids as much as he does!

So today I am thankful for my husband, and not just for the reasons I have listed, but for many MANY reasons. It would take all day just to sit here and list every single reason I am thankful for him, so I will save you the agony of me bragging on him for so long and just let you know once again that I love him and thank God for him every single day!

My Children

I know that it is similar to last weeks 'Thankful Thursday' but to me entirely different. Princess & Sunshine have been such a blessing in the short time they have been a part of our life, and I couldn't imagine life without them! I know as parents of babies we do not often consider the fact that in such a short time they are going to be little people with BIG personalities or at least I didn't consider it too often. I knew to enjoy the baby times because they would grow up fast, but this personality stuff is amazing.

I am thankful to be called Mom (yep, not Mommy any more!) It is a privilege to have that title and I hear it many times through the day. But the crazy thing is to hear my little 2 year olds running around the house having conversations and getting concepts!

I could post forever about this topic, as I do not have any thing else in my life that I can honestly say has been as great. Parenthood is the one thing that has come with no disappointments...in fact it has surpassed all expectations! I thank God every day for my children and ask Him at the same time for the privilege to grow our family again some day!

Some closure

*Lots of reading ahead...

As many of you may or may not know, I have been working with a ministry here in town called the Bella Pregnancy Center. They help expecting ladies with things like pregnancy tests, ultrasounds, counseling, Earn while you Learn which affords them the chance to learn about being a parents and needs of a developing child and they can in turn 'buy' donated items through the Mommy Money or Daddy Dollars they acquire with their 'homework.'

Anyway, I have just been a part of the fundraising committee so far. They do most things through volunteers, but do have a few people on staff including a nurse to perform the ultrasounds.

Well this starts the part that I want to share my thankfulness for. Tuesday evening we had a fundraising meeting, the first I have been able to attend since November because of the move, and I was able to be early. (I know, me early..not usually!) But, it just so happened they had another meeting before our meeting in which they invite community members in to share what the ministry does, inform them of how they operate, and give them a tour of the building they have been blessed with. I got there in time to jump in on the tour. Now in the last few months that I hadn't been able to be there, quite a few things had changed. But where my story really starts is when we stopped by the ultrasound room. Jodi, the nurse, was talking about what she would generally do with a client and walking us through it. She got to the point of bringing out the little true to life babies from different stages of development in the womb. She passed a baby of somewhere around 30 or 35 weeks of development around. It was incredible! The baby was actual weight and the features (eyes, ears, nose) were all so detailed. But then she went backwards, and I was able to see a baby at 8 weeks of development. No one in that room could have even understood how speechless I suddenly was.

That baby was not just a blob of tissues like my doctor of the time led me to believe. That baby was slightly smaller than my thumb (I do have small fingers) and you could see the perfect little toes, the arms, details in the face...now I do believe that life starts at conception, but NO ONE ever helped me understand just HOW developed our little babies were! After the rest of the group moved on to the next room I strayed back into that room to have a closer look at that little baby. I know that one day I will be able to see my babies in heaven, but for someone who at that time had no children and wanted to be a mom SO bad....I counted this a blessing. It was the closest to understanding what was going on so many years ago.

I had to confess my deeds of sneaking back in to the director and the nurse after our fundraising meeting. I went to tell Jodi that I was so thankful for getting to be a part of the tour because no doctor had ever taken the time to explain t me what my baby was like, they only talked to me about the post miscarriage details. I couldn't hold back the tears, I still cannot...she couldn't either. She has had at least two successful pregnancies, but she had also had 5 miscarriages in between.

I am thankful to have seen that tiny little baby that day. I am thankful for the sense of closure it gives to know that I have not been crazy this whole time to think that I have babies in heaven and hold to that fact. I am thankful for the little conversation that the nurse an I had that evening with few words but it spoke so much. This again just shows me a way of how God takes care of the small things in our lives. I didn't have to be early to that meeting, I didn't HAVE to be at that meeting at all. I could have lived the rest of my life without this connection to our 4 precious lives that my wonderful husband and I created, but God didn't allow that. Instead he gave me this chance, that opportunity to come as close to holding our little ones as I could have ever come with them being so tiny.

I am sorry for the wordy post, but this 'Thankful Thursday' post is a great way to start in my book...I am thankful, as a mother, to have had the opportunity to have a small, but mighty, connection with our 4 babies nearly 4-5 years later! (December 14th 2003, August 20th 2004, January 20th 2005, & April 26th 2005)

***This is a picture of an 8 week old baby in the womb. See more pictures at this site. The one below is one from the same place, but I thought it was too cute since we do sign language in our home. The firs baby is signing 'owl' and the second is signing 'I love you.'