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So Satan always has a way of creeping into our home on Sunday mornings...I truly believe he is trying to either A) keep us from church all together or B) get us upset with eachother so that some or all of us arrive at church stewing about that rather than focusing our heart and mind on Christ and the message He is giving us through our pastor. Either way Satan is fighting us every step of the way to church!
This morning as I was trying to get myself and our 4 littles ready I was listening to Pan...dora on shuffle and a John.Michael.Mon.tgomery song came on that I have heard a million times before. As I listened to the words I kept thinking of the precious children that have been brought to our home in other ways than through my belly. I am speaking for our agency adopted children, our foster/adopt child and our foster children (past and current.)
Here are the first two verses of the song "Little Girl" by JMMontgomery
"Her parents never took the young girl to church
Never spoke of his name never read her his word
Two non believers walking lost in this world
Took their baby with them what a sad little girl
Her daddy drank all day and mommy did drugs
Never wanted to play or give kisses and hugs
She'd watched the TV and sit there on the couch
While her mom fell asleep and her daddy went out
And the drinking and the fighting
Just got worse every night
Behind their couch she'd be hiding
Oh what a sad little life
And like it always does the bad just got worse
With every slap and every curse
Until her daddy in a drunk rage one night
Used a gun on her mom and then took his life
And some people from the city took the girl far away
To a new Mom and a new Dad
Kisses and hugs every day!"
Sadly I do not think that many people realize how really severe the problems of today are. There are thousands of children in our very own country that wake up (on their own) every day...if they are 3 or older they are probably waking up to scavange food for their younger siblings. They tip toe around their mom and/or dad trying NOT to wake them because they are afraid of WHO or WHAT they will receive when they wake up! We have had a 2 yr old foster daughter placed just 1 month post her 2nd birthday and already knew to look in the corners of the house for crumbs, climb kitchens counters to find 'the good stuff', and check and change her 1 yr old brothers diaper (not well, but she still tried.) Her older brothers and sisters were old enough for school, so they were able to get meals when they were at school and they were also able to get a break from having to parent the younger siblings to go to school and try to blend in so they didn't put a spotlight on their parents. But while they were at school the babies were forced to live on their own. Sometimes there wasn't an adult around, sometimes there was but the partying was more important than feeding or caring for the child. Life was about survival and it was scary. There was not love, there was not structure, there was not stability. This is the story for child after child in the system (and many who are not) in our country.
My husband and I did not 'choose' to be foster parents long term. We DID decide to get licensed so that we could grow our family when agency adoption wasn't working well for us and I was desperate to be a mother. In that moment we never really could have known what God had in store for us. Yes, our first placement was precious adorable little baby boy that we were able to dress and feed and love. But that little boy quickly had so many doctors appointments that I was hauling our 3 month old baby girl along with to 30-40 appointments a MONTH!!! He was sick because his birthmom thought there was only way to feel loved by men. She had babies and was unable to care for them because no one took the time to care for her. She didn't know how to survive on her own, let alone caring for the 1st, 2nd, 3rd or 4th baby she brought into the world by way of getting 'loved' by men. Sure, that little boy is the CUTEST little blonde haired boy I have EVER seen, and we are blessed that he is permanently calling us Mom and Dad....but even in his short time that his biological mother was responsible for him (pregnancy) she made decisions for herself and against our son that has altered his quality of life forever. We are unsure if Sunshine will ever leave our home to live on his own...will he be married? Go to college? Have children? We simply do not know. Non Christian doctors have basically told us our best chance for him is to get on our knees!! Prayer is something I can do...but I do not know if God will choose to answer these prayers or try to teach us or reach others through my son. We will see. We fought for our son...we love our son...and when we FINALLY were able to go to court and legally adopt him that was not the end of our fostering.
No God had a bigger plan...far bigger than we would ever know and probably bigger than we would ever have chosen on our own. We just received our 'thanks for 8 years of service' certificate at the Foster parent Appreciation Picnic this month, I do not say this for 'congrats' or 'thanks' but for the fact that a decision we made to become parents was fulfilled in just a 2.5 year time after starting...so why do we continue. We continue because God needs people that will love these children, God needs people that can provide stability and structure for these children. God wants people to teach this precious souls about Him.
God has called us...
We are not 'good people' we are not the 'bleeding hearts' we do not 'love being foster parents' (okay sometimes, in some situations I do. I can think of at least 3 cases over our years that I have LOVED being involved in) but we do this because God has given us a job to do, God needs us to love these children.
Think about the repercussions of putting our own 4 kids to bed one night and having them wake up the next day to 2 strange children that came while they slept. Think about the fact that most of these children come from sad SAD situations similar to what the songs talks, or my example and that they do not just 'fall into place' in the family. There is fighting, screaming, destruction and crying...what gets me the most is that little child crying for the mother that has been putting her cigarettes out on her little one that is covered in round little burns all over their body. Crying for the Daddy that has used her as his 'enjoyment' when there was no one else around to fulfill his 'needs.' How heartbreaking is is that when you offer a bed to a child for the first time in their life, food on a regular basis, toys that look like they are never ending, and love...the child still cries for the people that abuse them because that IS ALL THEY EVER KNEW!!! But imagine this just for a moment. Yes when a child comes into my home I buy them clothes...I dress them as if they are my own...and we love and teach them like they are our own...because why should they have second best just because they may only be with us for a short time??? When they are in my home they are treated and taught just like mine...I have 6 kids right now...I do NOT have 4 children and 2 foster children. The child should not suffer because his/her biological parents need to get some things together in their life. But please remember, just because they 'look normal' doesn't mean they are.....
God has called us...
I write this to let you in on a secret...it isn't us at all. It is God working through us that allows us to do what we do. Did you know we have been talked down to by church pastors and leaders because we have foster children in our midst? Did you know we have not been welcomed in some churches because of our unique family? Does anyone really want to NOT be wanted or included? I do not, but neither do these precious children.
God has called us...to love the little children.
God has called us...to father the fatherless.
God has called us...to be a home for the lonely.
God has called us...to adopt and love children that may otherwise not receive those very important things in their lives.
Please pray for us as we continue on this journey that God has paved for us. It isn't easy, it isn't always fun....but it is where God wants us to be. Please pray for the children that are not receiving hugs and kisses every day, because they are everywhere and no where at the same time.
God had called us and that is why we do what we do.
Desperate
7 years ago
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