3 years ago...

It is amazing to me how fast time flies. 3 years ago today was our 4th miscarriage and it seems like yesterday. I remember getting woke up by a knock on the door, it was a local florist delivering the most beautiful (and very large) bouquet of Gerbera Daisies I have ever seen...my husband had apparently called his sister to let him know and she had these beautiful flowers sent to our home. There were also many ladies in the church that dropped off food so I could take it easy and rest. I still have a difficult time understanding why the Lord had us endure December 14th 2003, August 20th 2004, January 20th 2005, and April 26th 2005...but for some reason he chose us. I guess I can count myself blessed to be able to see that the Lord sees strength somewhere that I personally do not. I also believe that if Jason and I would not have had the difficulty with pregnancy we would not have our Beautiful Ada Grace nor our Adorable Ethan.

There were so many questions that we did not get answers to, there are two things I am praising God that I can look forward to. #1 ~ I have trusted in my Lord Jesus Christ and know that when my time on this earth is through, I will be spending eternity in heaven. #2 ~ Because I know that heaven is my eternal home, I also know that one day I will be able to have the pleasure of meeting our 4 little ones.

Some people deal with things a little differently than others, I personally like to "celebrate" our babies "birthdays" in a quiet manner. For those of you that know me, you all know that I am not one to be quiet, I do get sad a few days before each "birthday" but the actual day is bittersweet. I am thankful those children do not have to suffer one minute here on this earth. At the same time I (selfishly) wish that I could have met them, known them, held them, and named them. You may notice that loved them isn't on that list...we loved them then, and we still do.

I will end with a poem that was sent to us by someone we do not know via snail mail after the third miscarriage...it is called "The Lamb Story"

In the summer time, when the grass in the lower valleys dries up and withers, the shepherds seek to lead their sheep up the winding, thorny, and stony pathway. The sheep are reluctant to take the hardships; so they turn back and will not follow very far. The shepherds make repeated attempts, but the timid sheep turn back. Finally, a shepherd reaches into the flock and takes a little lamb, and places it under his arm, and then he reaches in and takes up another lamb and places it under the other arm. Then he starts out up the precipitous pathway; soon the mother sheep start to follow, and afterward the entire flock. They ascend the tortuous trail to green pastures.

The Great Shepherd of the sheep, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Saviour, has reached into the flock, and He has picked your lamb. He did not do it to rob you, but to lead you out and upward. He has richer and greener pastures for you, and He wants you to follow. Will you follow Him? You will, if you catch a glimpse of Him.