A little encouragement...

I guess that I have not exactly been the encouraging type lately. Most of you probably know that Jason and I have been working with a fertility specialist for a few months now and I have to say it has been a journey! Forever ago a dear friend of ours told me that I should be checked out for polycystic ovarian syndrome, something that she had AND was successful in having 4 healthy pregnancies. I asked 3 doctors about it and every time they said, "no point in testing, you are not a classic case." Well, back when we started working with my current doctor, I actually went to her because we thought there was a good chance that I was expecting. I chose this Dr. because I have heard LOTS of great things about her and most of all that "SHE WAS THE BEST!" Well, I went in and they drew blood for a pregnancy test and without my knowledge also for the PCOS test...I wasn't pregnant, but I do have PCOS. Now depending on which side you take there are two different stories about what PCOS is...doctors say one thing and nutritionists say another. But that is a different debate. Anyway, due to some of the happening with my PCOS, my body actually was tricked into thinking it was pregnant when in fact I was not. All the classic symptoms AND THEN SOME and yet there would be no bundle of joy at the end of 9 months.

Anyway, the Dr. said that she thought there was a high possibility that she could help us so we decided, after much prayer, to go ahead and work with her. We tried some meds the first 2 times with NO results, and we have now tried a method where I gave myself shots in the tummy 5 days in a row of HCG. This has done some good things for me and we are encouraged that there is light at the end of the tunnel. ENTER SOME BAD NEWS! My doctor is moving her practice to New Zealand! ENTER BETTER NEWS: Her last day of seeing patients is September 30th! So, now we have a doctor that is actually helping and she is taking off on me! Whoa, this is great. Well, there is someone that she said would work with me in town and we are going to have a meeting with him in the near future.

But in the midst of all of this I have to say that I have not been the help meet to my husband that I should be. When dealing with PCOS it messes with the Pituitary Gland (basically the master hormone) and does funny things to emotions! Jason says he can tell which Ashley he is getting when he looks at me, this is not the way that I would like to be with my husband and I are praying that each time I have to do the shots that the effect on my emotions will be less and less.

Now with all of that said, I do not want you all to think that I have been a monster to live with or anything...but as the doctor stated it, it will make you very tired and you will have times that you act as if you were pregnant.

I guess why I am sharing this with all of you dear faithful readers is because I like to be an approachable open book to friends and family. There is also a certain level of accountability when you have shared a weakness with other people, and it will (or at least SHOULD) help drive a person, in this case me, to work at being better in particular areas of life. I need to work at not letting the shots get me down so bad that I neglect my responsibility as a wife. I also want to warn others about polycystic ovarian syndrome, it is the leading cause of infertility and a high cause of miscarriages. The thing that I really want people to know is if you have a hunch that you may have it to push your doctors harder than I did...the sooner you get a grip on it, the less cysts are there and the easier it is to deal with. My doctor says I have a 50% chance of conceiving, and after that a 25% chance of carrying full term. Not great odds, but I know that we serve a faithful God and if it is His will that we have a child naturally, it will happen.

In the mean time, if any of you are in a great giving mood...please feel free to send Adoption Donations our way as we would still like to adopt one more time!