7 Years

(This ultrasound picture is of our Cupcake, as I never got the opportunity to see our first four)

I remember thinking on Handsome and my 7th anniversary that it just was not possible that we had been married that long.  What had I ever done for 7 years of my life???  The only thing I could come up with was play the clarinet!  Well now today I look at the 7 year 'anniversary' of our third baby going to heaven and I think to myself, 'it seems like an eternity ago!'  Someone commented on a populare social networking site today after I had posted of what the day was, they were glad that we celebrate the day and the life we had for such a short time!  I had not really ever thought of celebrating before...I almost always am sad or quiet on our 'remembering' dates of our 4 precious babies in heaven!  But truly, a celebration is what it should be!  Life starts at conception and none of us really know the number of days we will live on this earth...God does not guarantee us 90 happy, healthy years....He doesn't even say that 'once you become pregnant you WILL have a baby in 40 weeks.'  That is not God's promise.  From this day forward I will try to celebrate the life that God blessed us with in each of our first four pregnancies.  They are children created in God's image just like Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake and Love Bug.  They are children that God blessed my husband with as he did with the P, S, C and LB!  They are NOT children that must be grieved for 70 years, they must be celebrated.  I have realized last year that having our first four children in heaven was, indeed, God's plan for our life...and that is ok.  I also realized, with that, that had our first four children not left us so early in their little lives that we most likely would not have the children we do now.  If we were able to get pregnant the first time around, give birth to a happy healthy baby, and go on our merry way I am not so sure we would have been as apt to walk the adoptive path.  THAT IS NOT SAYING that we think it is less of a path to walk, just saying that most couples that go about expanding their family the 'normal' way are a lot less likely to think of adoption.  HOWEVER, I have found myself thankful for our path...I do have 4 babies in heaven and because I know Jesus as my Saviour I will hold my babies in heaven on day.  This I am sure of.  Eternity is much longer than my short little 85ish years here...but I also now know that becaue of the start of our family having the ending it did, we now have four beautiful (and hopefully more) children that we can teach about Christ and hopefully one day they will accept him also and then for spend eternity as one big happy family! 

Now I know I rambled and the flow of this post just isn't there (when do my post ever really flow?) but today I choose to try and celebrate the life God had blessed us with for the short weeks that this little one made this Mama feel so yucky.  But that yuckiness always meant there was someone there...and I would take it 10 time over to know that God is blessing us with more precious littles!