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Daily Verse

Sunday~
"How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word. With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from you commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you." Psalm 119:9-11

Why do we try to conform God to our will? Live in His word and know true joy.

Monday~
"Make me to know your ways, O LORD, teach me your paths. Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long. Remember your mercy, O LORD, and your steadfast love, for they have been from of old."
Psalm 25:4-6

God reveals the truth of our time and all time to us through Scripture.

Tuesday~
"The law of the LORD is perfect, reviving the soul; the tstimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple: the precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes; the fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the rules of the LORD are true, and righteous altogether. More to be desired are they than gold, even much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and drippings of the honeycomb."
Psalm 19:7-10

All the laws in all the books in all the libraries of the world are but a footnote to the law of God.

Wednesday~
"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways ackowledge him, and he will make straight your paths."
Proverbs 3:5-6

To know and understand God comes not through our intellect, but through the wisdom given to us by the grace of God.

Thursday~
"My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments, for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart."
Proverbs 3:1-3

Don't measure success by society's standards. Use Christ as your measuring stick.

Friday~
"The the LORD answered Job our of the whirlwind and said: 'Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding, Who determined its measurements - surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? Or who laid its cornerstond...?'"
Job 38:1, 4-6

When we measure God by our limited standards, we attempt to measure the elephant by weighing one strand of its hair.

Saturaday~
"Philip said to him, 'Lord, show us the Father, and it is enough for us.' Jesus said to him, 'Have I been with you so lon, and you still do not know me, Philip? Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, Show us the Father?'"
John 14:8-9

Christ is God made flesh. If you want to know God, you must draw closer to Jesus.

J.E.N.E

Patch

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Anniversary

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Princess

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Sunshine

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Cupcake

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Love Bug

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Ri-Bear

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Bo

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Healthier Me!

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Disney Dream Cruise with Mom!!!

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Thursday, February 16, 2012

Back to reality...

I have to say how incredibly thankful I am for the opportunity to experience being pregnant.  From the minute I saw the positive on August 1st 2010 until she was born on March 19th 2011 I had the opportunity to experience what reality was like.  God gave me the biggest blessing He could ever have given...he gave me the opportunity to feel 'normal'!  And then again, when I started producing milk and until I finished pumping on January 4th 2012...normal!  It was a ton of work to keep milk flowing and we had a few bumps in the road but with time, research, and hard work the only thing my babies are still drinking is my milk.  Cupcake will be 11 months next week and Love Bug 6 months!  I was given the opportunity to produce milk for both of my babies...Cupcake will have enough to make it to a year and Love Bug will make it at least to 7 months..maybe a little longer. 

Why is this a big deal, I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and had 4 miscarriages early in our marriage to get to the point of pre-menopause.  I know that is A LOT of information that some of you may wish they didn't know, but this one I'm throwing it all out there.  Women with PCOS often struggle with their weight, they cannot loose for ANYTHING in them.  Women with PCOS often struggle getting pregnant, and if they do get pregnant it is a fight from day one to keep that precious little once tucked so nice and cozy inside.  IF you are one of the bless women with PCOS that made it through all of those hoops and actually have a healthy baby you will most likely struggle with milk production.  I know women with PCOS who had not even one drop of milk come in to feed their baby.  Baby may be latching and sucking like a pro and NOTHING is coming....

So for 17 months I was able to feel like a 'normal' person...to temporarily forget occasionally that I have something that can become very serious if not kept in check.  While the pregnancy was not an easy one, and PCOS did play a role in how we proceeded with caution, I was still pregnant and that was a victory every single day I woke up bigger and bigger and HUGE!  But while I was pumping milk and freezing milk I also could feel normal...like PCOS had not gotten a complete victory over me.

Enter January 4th, 2012.  My last day to pump any milk for my girls...I had been clinging to pumping since September 19th.  Handsome and I agreed back in August that I would pump until Cupcake was 6 months old, but then something amazing happened.  Love Bug quickly entered into our lives and I knew she needed to get to 6 months also on breastmilk also.  November/December were difficult on us though.  The ugly PCOS monster was really starting to rear its nasty head for this Mama.  I was not happy, I was not well, I was not friendly, I was not kind.  I was not alive...and it was because I have PCOS.  All the time I was trying to eat right for the babies and eat what was needed to make sure my milk was good for the girls it was slowly doing me harm. I thought it was slow, but Handsome will report that it was a sudden attack.  One minute everything was good, the next minute PCOS had left only a disaster behind.  It was sometime in mid-December that after praying and crying out to God I decided it would be healthier for all of my children and my relationships and my marriage if Mama came back and started kicking PCOS out again.  So after a few calculations I knew with my milk I could get Love Bug to 6 months and Cupcake to a year on my milk...and then a very generous Patch Parent offering to give me some of her extra milk to keep Love Bug on breakmilk even longer....it was time.  Time to go back on my healthy for ME diet.  Now, I am getting all food groups and I am getting enough nutrients...but they are the right ones for a person with PCOS.  My girls are still drinking my milk and I am not the monster I had become! 

Did PCOS reclaim its place in my ability (or lack thereof) to become and stay pregnant?  Only time will tell.  But I can promise this one thing, PCOS is not taking my life.  PCOS is not going to take my precious moments of happiness away from my time with Handsome and my children!  I am going to win this victory once again! 

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