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Why is this a big deal, I have PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and had 4 miscarriages early in our marriage to get to the point of pre-menopause. I know that is A LOT of information that some of you may wish they didn't know, but this one I'm throwing it all out there. Women with PCOS often struggle with their weight, they cannot loose for ANYTHING in them. Women with PCOS often struggle getting pregnant, and if they do get pregnant it is a fight from day one to keep that precious little once tucked so nice and cozy inside. IF you are one of the bless women with PCOS that made it through all of those hoops and actually have a healthy baby you will most likely struggle with milk production. I know women with PCOS who had not even one drop of milk come in to feed their baby. Baby may be latching and sucking like a pro and NOTHING is coming....
So for 17 months I was able to feel like a 'normal' person...to temporarily forget occasionally that I have something that can become very serious if not kept in check. While the pregnancy was not an easy one, and PCOS did play a role in how we proceeded with caution, I was still pregnant and that was a victory every single day I woke up bigger and bigger and HUGE! But while I was pumping milk and freezing milk I also could feel normal...like PCOS had not gotten a complete victory over me.
Enter January 4th, 2012. My last day to pump any milk for my girls...I had been clinging to pumping since September 19th. Handsome and I agreed back in August that I would pump until Cupcake was 6 months old, but then something amazing happened. Love Bug quickly entered into our lives and I knew she needed to get to 6 months also on breastmilk also. November/December were difficult on us though. The ugly PCOS monster was really starting to rear its nasty head for this Mama. I was not happy, I was not well, I was not friendly, I was not kind. I was not alive...and it was because I have PCOS. All the time I was trying to eat right for the babies and eat what was needed to make sure my milk was good for the girls it was slowly doing me harm. I thought it was slow, but Handsome will report that it was a sudden attack. One minute everything was good, the next minute PCOS had left only a disaster behind. It was sometime in mid-December that after praying and crying out to God I decided it would be healthier for all of my children and my relationships and my marriage if Mama came back and started kicking PCOS out again. So after a few calculations I knew with my milk I could get Love Bug to 6 months and Cupcake to a year on my milk...and then a very generous Patch Parent offering to give me some of her extra milk to keep Love Bug on breakmilk even longer....it was time. Time to go back on my healthy for ME diet. Now, I am getting all food groups and I am getting enough nutrients...but they are the right ones for a person with PCOS. My girls are still drinking my milk and I am not the monster I had become!
Did PCOS reclaim its place in my ability (or lack thereof) to become and stay pregnant? Only time will tell. But I can promise this one thing, PCOS is not taking my life. PCOS is not going to take my precious moments of happiness away from my time with Handsome and my children! I am going to win this victory once again!
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