Children...

***Notice: I do not claim to be the parent that knows everything, has perfect children, or responds correctly to every circumstance that comes up throughout the day.  HOWEVER, I do try very hard to look to the future as to what is best for my children and then apply life lessons to the children God has blessed me with today, that will help prepare them for that future.  Also, this is not written with anyone in mind...it is a reminder to me ~as a parent~ the battle I am fighting daily for the Lord.

As I mentioned yesterday, "Children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward." Children are a gift from God, but so often times we forget that while they are blessings and they are precious and cute...they also need to grow up to be respectable hard working adults. That isn't going to happen by chance, parenting takes hard work...there is not a specific 'how to' manual...each child IS different. But God's Word is a good place to start! "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 Do we really think the child who is allowed -without repremand- to tell that man how fat he is, or to kick the nice lady at the doctors office, tell their own parents to shut up, or to throw food at the person sitting at the booth behind them at the restaurant, ect. is going to just stop after they exit the 'terrible twos' aweful threes or confusing tweens....um, NO. Their repulsive acts will just grow with their age. NOW, before you start throwing a fit (these are all things, and many more, I have personally witnessed) kids will be kids and we all know they like to 'test the waters.' But as we are clay in the Potters hands...so are children in their parents hands. Many a times my children have opened their mouth or done something that is not allowed or even for the first time trying something in public...BUT they do not get away with it. You know what needs to happen, the parent is to make a big dramatic scene and yell and scream at the child forcing them to say they are sorry and leave before any more embarassement happens....NO. Did you know a child will hear far better if you speak with kind quiet words rather than yell and put on a show?

Another thing that is good is to set up consequences in advance. If you have been having trouble in a particular area lately let them know before it starts what will happen if they act up and what will happen if they are good. For example...we have been having trouble with our two oldest being wild at church ( I know, I know...they are not that bad...BUT they are doing things that we do not allow as parents to our children) so, before we left for church we told them the struggles they have been having at church lately...they agreed. We told them what is expected of them while at church, again they agreed. We then ASKED them what a good consequence would be if they broke our rules while at church...we agreed it was a fair decision. I was unable to go because of sick babies...but Handsome again reminded them of the discussion once they were buckled in the Suburban. They broke our rules at church. Plain and simple...they disobeyed their Mommy and Daddy. When they loaded up in the Suburban after church Handsome asked them...so how do YOU think you did at church today? They both spoke in turn explaining that they were naughty and did not obey. Handsome they asked what we should do about it. Almost together they both responded by stating the consequence decided upon before church. And do you know what? They faced that consequence with no bad attitude, no tears, no trying to get out of it...they faced it and accepted it. In a sense they 'owned' their actions! Do you know how we got to this point in parenting? HARD WORK! Consistant teaching of obedience and the consequences of wrong doing from the time they were 6 months old!

Now the hardest thing that I am finding for me as a parent is having to try and teach your children to do what is right even when people around you will not back you up.  It is no secret we have higher or stricter expectations for our children than many people around us.  I am not saying this to put myself above anyone, please understand this, but my 5 year old children are to remain in control of themselves at all times.  Not acting wild and loud at inappropriate times or places etc. etc.  I get that, but if you know that my child is not suppose to be running in church (accourding to their parents rules) doing laugh at them and let them run by...stop them!  Remind them that is not something they are supposed to be doing!  Back a fellow parent up!  If you are at a play group and my child is the one hitting someone else's child with a toy...stop them!  As a fellow parent of more than one child you must know that one parent cannot be on top of all four children at all times.  This is a common problem in society today...people around are destroying the authority of the parent.  Sometimes purposefully and sometimes unknowingly.  Did you know that being told NO is not going to send my 5 year old into the depths of depression to the point that as a 37 year old they will not be able to stay in a relationship or hold a job because 32 years before their Mama told them they couldn't have the extra treat or that THIS weekend we are not going to go 'do something fun' we need to work on keeping the house.  Character...let us all go work on it, for ourselves and for our children.

So to sum it all up, raising children is not something that is just going to happen.  But with hard work and dedication you and your child will have a great relationship and you will have a responsible adult child that is a hard worker and actualy respects the authority God has placed in their life!