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Tomorrow is a big milestone in our pregnancy journey, we will be 20 {twenty!} weeks! I never in my life ever imagined being here, when we found out shortly after we were married that we could have trouble with having biological children it was harsh but God had already prepared us for adoption and so we focused our efforts on growing our family through adoption. What was not without its own set of trials, but now...we ARE here. We ARE going to be half way through this pregnancy it doesn't seem real. I still have my, "wait, I'm pregnant, what?!?!?" moments...because when for 8 years you are told NO NO NO how is your mind suppose to just switch like that!
I am working on our Christmas letter and having a difficult time writing it this year. Usually I sit down one evening and have at least my draft for my husband to slice apart for my bad grammar, but I have been working on this for over a week now...and really have nothing to show for it! We have had so many changes this year, GOOD changes, but changes none the less. How do you encoperate that into a letter (year after year) without sounding unstable? God did some amazing things this year. He opened and closed some great opportunities and allowed some miracles to happen in our life as well! We could be raising support to be missionaries in Panama right now, and working on getting ready to go on our first trip down there in February. We backed out in April/May, at that time we had no idea why we just felt God closing the door. Well, first off, for the mission trip...I would be almost 8 months pregnant and both Handsome and I agreed that our next mission trip we wanted to do together, not apart! SO, God knew I would be unable to travel at that time! But He also knew there would be another adoption coming around the corner too, there were children in the USA that needed us. The stories like that are endless when it comes to the 8 1/2 years Handsome and I have been married. I am sure my mother has had many heartattacks when I called her and said we are looking at: Boston, the South, Panama, etc. etc. all so very far away from 'home.'
God does amazing things in a persons life. I look at the pain and heartache that was endured (barely) when we lost our four precious babies early in our marriage and while it was a great pain that still hurts, look at all the joy that our Princess and Boo have brought. I can honestly say we wouldn't have such a heart for adoption if Grasshopper would have come along 8 years ago! We miss our babies, I really would have loved to at least know if they were boys or girls so we could properly name them, but God has plans. So now, while we are working on all the paperwork and legal stuff to contract for adoption in the midst of this pregnancy and getting much criticism for it, that is fine. Handsome and I both know that the very day that we decided in June that it was time to start the adoption path again God already knew that Grasshopper was working on planting himself/herself into his/her cozy warm bed for the next 8 1/2 months! I was already pregnant when we knew God was leading us in the direction of adoption again, but we didn't know that I was. It was the thing farthest away from our minds because of all the medical evidance supporting the fact that I would NEVER (they did use NEVER) carry a child again!
This may not be the path you would choose for yourself or your family. This may not even be the path we would have choosen for ourselves and we have certainly made our share of mistakes along the way, but it is the path God has put out for us to travel. Besides, how cool is it that we are going to have 4 children born from four different wonderful ladies (3 more amazing than myself) and 2 of our children will have been born here in our hometown and two in the same (most likely) hospital in a very large state 23 hours away from here!
We are thankful for where God has led us to be. We are thankful for our life God has given us. We are thankful for our Princess, Boo, Grasshopper, and whomever God is going to bring into our lives through our wonderful Family to Family Adoptions, Inc! I am excited about what the next year will bring!
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