National Adoption Month

As we bring November to a close, it makes me think of the fact that November is National Adoption Awareness month.  There are so many different 'causes' people can take up as THEIRS, obviously God has put adoption on our hearts.  We are blessed to have our Princess and our Sunshine in our lives...and we are looking forward to meeting our newest addition to the family whenever we are matched and that little one is born.

But something I was to point out is that adoption costs ALOT!  Not just financially, though we will talk about that too!  But emotionally, while we {adoptive families} are celebrating our joy of growing our fmaily, there is a birth mother and her family that are grieving the loss of that same little one.  In a perfect {or even semi-perfect} situation you are able to maintain contact so that loss isn't AS great, but still there.  In both of our situations contact is not in place.  With Princess we had contact with her birthmother until Princess was 6 months old, but then her birthmother disappeared, we have not heard from her nor has the agency.  With Sunshine there are legal restrictions the prohibit any contact between him and any of his birth family due to the situation he came out of. 

But just because Princess' birthmother left us and Sunshines' birthmother isn't allowed to have contact with him doesn't mean they do not hurt.  I cannot imagine {especially now that I am experiencing the joy of pregnancy myself} having that little one grow and kick inside of you and go through the pain of delivary without getting that reward of parenting and loving on that child at the end of it!  I am sure both of these caring women still have hurts from the fact that these children are not in their lives, and I want you all to know it is something I think about often.  I am forever greatful for the fact that these mothers chose us to parent their precious little ones that now call us Mommy and Daddy, but I forever hurt for those two ladies as well!  Now I know in Sunshines situation it was not healthy nor safe for him to be in his birthmother's care, but that doesn't take away her emotions...maybe it even makes it a little worse for her!

There is emotional pain on this end too.  My kids are getting old enough now that they are asking questions....LOTS AND LOTS of questions...but we made the decision when they were babies that they would grow up knowing that they were adopted, it wasn't going to be some secret we kept from them until later in life.  Princess knows she grew in *****'s tummy and Sunshine knows he grew in ****'s tummy and now their question of 'why' is starting to come into play.  While I am thankful to their birthmother's for allowing my husband and I the chance to be parents, it still hurts that I was not able to be EVERYTHING to my children.  Now does that make them less of children, NO!  Does it really make me less of a mother, NO!  But sometimes it feels that way.  We see people in the community that disreguard them as our children because I didn't birth them...that hurts too, to see children rejected because they were born to someone else.  But Princess and Sunshine love us, know us, and call us Mommy and Daddy...they just know their stories are a little 'extra special.'

Now on the financial end of it, there is great sacrifice on the end of most adoptive parents.  Princess' adoption cost us right around $27,000 that we took out almost completely in loans.  We did receive $1200 as a gift to help with travel expenses and one of my Aunt & Uncles sent us $500 to help with the cost, but otherwise it was all loan that we are still working on paying for!  Sunshines adoption was slightly less, and with him we received no help, so again there was around $25,000 in loans we are still paying for!  This time we have tried fundraising.  Last Spring we did a coffee fundraiser that helped us raise about $200, this fall one of my wonderful Patch moms did a 5K for us that helped us raise $350, and we just wrapped up a Pampered Chef fundraiser and have a Blessings Unlimited one starting on Sunday.  My guess with the PC is that we raised about $40 and I am praying for at least $100 with the BU one!  So while we have had fundraisers and we are thankful for every bit that comes in, the cost of the adoption will still be right at or a little more than $25,000!  We do not expect other people to just hand out money to us, though we have had a neighbor hand us $50 and a friend also send us $50 (Thank you L&L and D&R, we are VERY appreciative!) we are praying that there might be a little more help out there somewhere.  We have already sent a $10,000 check off that we have in a loan, and the next payment is due when w are matched.  That payment is $7500, and another $7500 is due when the baby is born.  It would be wonderful if some how a miracle could take place and both of those payments could be raised so we didn't have to take out loans for them!  We are applying for grants, but since we already have two children and are now expecting that isn't going to put us up high on lists for receiving grants.

So my question is, would God lay on your heart to help out an adoptive family somehow?  I am not saying just us...there are hundreds of adoptive families out there.  In fact I know several families that the only thing stopping them from adopting is the money, they just simply cannot afford the $25,000+ it costs to adopt a child.  But there are also great organizations out there that help adoptive families in need of financial assistance.  ABBA Fund in North Carolina gives Christian adoptive families no interest loans so if you give to them your gift will help more than one family, because as the families pay back their loan that money is recycled and used with other families!  Steven Curtis Chapman also has a grant association I believe his new website is showhope.com.  Parenthood For Me is a new grant not for profit in New York I personally have donated to to help get them going, they give grants not only for adoptive families, but also for families going through fertility treatments!  The list goes on and on, but maybe donating financially isn't something you can do...that is okay, there needs to be people willing to pray for families going through the adoption process because it is a rollercoaster ride! 

Just my thoughts as National Adoption Awareness Month comes to a close!