It will bring tears, I PROMISE!

I saw a cashier hand this little boy his money back, the boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'' The little boy turned to the old woman next to him, ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?'' She replied, ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.'' Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.' I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry. But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this, 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.'' My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said, 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly. I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!'' OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money. The little boy said, 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!' Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'' 'My mommy loves white roses.' A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local newspaper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy I read in the newspaper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed forever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine, and in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

8 Years

8 Years ago today started like any other day, though there was a question in the back of my mind for several weeks already.  A question that was answered with bad news.  Handsome was an Associate Pastor at the time and it was a Saturday.  We went to church like many other Saturdays and were going to be there when a mission group arrived, they were also going to be presenting our church's Christmas program the next day!  That mission group had car trouble or a snow storm or something that didn't allow them to make it.  So, our little church family pulled together that Saturday afternoon/evening to bring a Christmas program for the church people the next day!  As we worked I started feeling pretty tough, but didn't want to back out of my duties so tried to write it off.  That question keep playing in my mind, "Am I pregnant?"  "Are we going to be starting our family?"  As the afternoon rolled on, the cramping got worse and worse and I actually got physically sick.  Somewhere around 8:30 that evening I excused myself and went to the bathroom...where I met our baby.  Now he or she was too small to know that I had just met our precious little bundle...but blood tests later confirmed that I had been expecting and that he or she had been promoted to Heaven.  I remember being sad to learn this news, but at the same time I remember thinking something along the lines of 'it is common for couples to experience miscarriage the first time around.'  I did greive our first, but not as much as our second, third or fourth.  I did not fully understand what road we were starting down.  Since I was about 14 I was told I would not have children.  But this time around there was comfort in the fact that we were indeed able to become pregnant...

Well, at that point I was 20 years old.  That also began a rough battle with finding God's path for our family growth.  Little did I know that just 3 years later we would become parents to our Princess whom was carrying and born from another lady...not me. 

Amazing enough, God did allow us to become pregnant a second, third, fourth, and fifth time.  As you know the last pregnancy was the only baby we have been able to meet on this side of Heaven!  However!  We have hope!  Both Handsome and myself have accepted Jesus Christ as our personal Lord and Saviour, we know that one day when our life on earth is over that we will spend eternity in Heaven...where we will meet our first four children!

Time can heal many things, though I do not believe that time can heal a mother's greiving heart.  Sure, time will allow the pain of the loss of a child to be less of a sting...but the only real cure for the greif of a lost child is the Love of Christ!

At this time of year it is easy for many to put on their Christian caps and walk around proclaiming what God has done for us.  But it is this time of year that we celebrate the LIFE of Christ, He was born as a baby.  Many forget about the fact that he also died for our sins, and rose again! 

I have gotten to the point that I am thankful that God brought us through the difficult path.  My living children do not take the place of my children that have passed, but without the miscarriages I am fairly certain that I would not have Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake or Love Bug! 

I do wonder what it would be like had this pregnancy that ended so early 8 years ago been successful...what different dynamic it would have brought to our life.  But it was not God's plan at the time.  I look forward to knowing that one day I will spend eternity with my precious babies.

Makes you think!

A farmer and a teacher, a hooker and a preacher

Ridin' on a midnight bus bound for Mexico

One was headin' for vacation, one for higher education

And two of them were searchin' for lost souls

That driver never saw the stop sign

And 18 wheelers can't stop on a dime

There were three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them Heaven only knows

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

That farmer left a harvest, a home and 80 acres

The faith and love for growin' things in his young sons heart

And that teacher left her wisdom in the minds of lots of children

Did her best to give 'em all a better start

And that preacher whispered, "Can you see the promised land?"

As he lay his blood stained Bible in that hookers hand

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them Heaven only knows

I guess it's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go

That's the story that our Preacher told last Sunday

As he held that blood stained Bible up for all of us to see

He said, "Bless the farmer and the teacher and the preacher

who gave this Bible to my momma who read it to me."

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

Why there's not four of them now I guess we know

It's not what you take when you leave this world behind you

It's what you leave behind you when you go.

There are three wooden crosses on the right side of the highway

 
 
So, my husband and I really enjoy Randy Travis songs...especially "Forever and Ever Amen".  We were fortunate enough to go to one of his concerts when he was in town a few years ago and what a blessing it was!  One of my favorite date nights with Handsome!  This morning when I was in the shower, "Three Wooden Crosses" came on my iPod and as I was singing the words really stabbed me in the heart!  How often do we over look the "least of these" in this world?  That pastors heart was in the right place as he lay there in his last few moments he was still thinking about eternity and making sure others knew about Jesus!  Think of how many people his last few moments impacted simply because he cared enough for that lady that many others probably snubbed because of her 'job!'  But he has enough compassion in his heart to share Jesus with her, she went on to teach her son about Christ -who then became a Preacher who's word was heart by many! 

I know that I cam guilty of looking past some people at times because I am too busy or because I am wrapped up in my own life...but I pray that I can change that around here.  It will take steps because, lets face it...I am kind of busy right now...but that doesn't mean I cannot share my Jesus with others when given the chance! 

This song, silly as it may seem, literally brought tears to my eyes this morning and made me think of how much I appreciate our Pastor who does not over look others...he has a heart for everyone and wants everyone to hear about Jesus!  Thank you to him and his wife for sharing their lives and hearts with our little town! 

"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’ "

Matthew 25:40 ESV

Sunshine

So when getting Sunshine dressed today a pair of pants he has had on recently seemed a little short to me, so we measured him on the wall where we 'keep track' of our kids' growth only to find out that he has grown almost an inch since October 7th!  That explains why the child is eating like a horse!  But before I told him how big he was getting he told me how he knew he was getting bigger, 'and you know why Mommy?' as he lifts his pant leg and says, 'because look how much hair I have on my legs!'  Haaahaa, that cracks me up!  I asked him if that means he is getting big and he said yes...and then I asked him who said that hair on your legs meant you were getting big...'Um, I don't know, I just figured that is what it meant!'

Life stays interesting with the four kids God has blessed us with, that is for sure!

One Year Ago Today....

Last Year on November 17th, we had a VERY exciting day! 

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The above crazy lady was doing dances in my belly...as we watched her on the big screen while we discover she was a SHE!  I still remember right after the ultrasound tech. said "it's a GIRL" the first thing I did was look at Princess' face to see what she thought!  She was thrilled and her eyes were all big and her smile was HUGE!  I then, of course, looked to Handsome and he was excited and then Sunshine...he had a very sad face!  What a difference a year will make!  Cupcake started off this 'special' day with a bang...we ended up having to give an early morning bath and start a load of laundry with her crib sheets, PJ's, and blankets because she had waited a few days to mess her pants!  I cannot imagine being more blessed.  Cupcake has been a wild spirit but at the same time a very easy baby!  God has blessed us richly!  I am thankful for that!

Click HERE for my post from November 17th, 2010!!!

7 Months 19 days....

7 Month 19 Days:
The amount of time that passed from when Mama found out she was pregnant with you until the time she was able to hold you in her arms...August 1st was a Sunday and I took the test that morning as we were rushing around getting ready for church.  I used the 'guest' room rather than the master because Daddy was taking a shower and I remember running up to him with the test in hand and just showing him because I had no words...nothing, I had no idea what to say!  I was excited and shocked.  You see Mama had been told by several doctors that I was no longer able to have children because I was no longer ovulating....so how could I be pregnant.  It was one of the plain tests that just used lines.  So we decided that after church I would run pick up a digital one...in less than 30 seconds that one showed the beautiful word "Pregnant"!  But my excitement soon turned to fear....what if this little one joins her 4 siblings in heaven?  What if this ends in another miscarriage and another one of my babies I have to wait to meet until after my life on earth is over?  Praise the Lord that wasn't the case! 

Today is November 6th, you are now officially 7 months and 19 days old.  While I know you exsisted inside of me for several weeks before I knew you were there....it is something to me that you have been in my arms as long as I knew you were inside of me!  There are times I wish I could feel your kick just one more time....but most of the time I am so excited that you are here and not inside any more!  You see my saying all throughout my pregnancy was, "I am just ready to meet her, I know how to care for and love a baby once they are born...but this pregnancy stuff I am unfamiliar with!" 

I know the 7 months and 19 days has gone my much quicker since you have been more than the time before! 

Thank you Lord, for sending us our healthy and precious Cupcake!

Baby Smiles and Loose Teeth

Love Bug just smiled at ME!  She has already smiled at Handsome (lots) and at Princess (lots) but she had not smiled at Mama yet....but she did!  That makes me happy!  Thanks Bug!

Princess and Sunshine went to the 'tooth doctor' today and when they arrived home The Princess ran in the door and said very exitedly, "Mama, my teeth are started to get loosed!"  I asked if she could repeat and this time she said the very same thing while pointing and one of her large front teeth on top and said after, "it is a little wiggly, that means it is going to come out soon!"  I officially have to embrace the fact that while I do have two babies....Princess and Sunshine are no longer even close to being babies.  I have reached a new level of parenthood, actually I am pretty sure it happened a while ago; I just have tried very hard not to notice! 

6 weeks and Newborn Diapers!

Today our little one is 6 weeks old, I do not know how time flies so quickly!  She is much more alert than she was even a week ago and the withdrawals are starting to get better!  She even sleeps through the night sometimes!  She is starting to make little 'chatty' sounds once in a while and as of today....we have outgrown the Preemie sized diapers and have officially moved into the Newborn sized diapers! 

Last Friday she was 7 lbs 2 oz....keep growing little Love Bug!

1,116 Days

 That is the number of days from the time we knew God was calling us to grow our family through adoption for a third time until our little Love Bug was born! 

 Or 3 years, 3 weeks, and 1 day!  It is amazing to me to hear God's call and see Him work it out according to His plan and His time! 

5 years and 5 days ago Handsome and I still had an empty house and were crying out to God to grow our family by adding a baby.  A real, living child.  Our Princess is 5 years and 4 days old, we had no idea she was coming until the day before she was born!  Three months later the phone rings and our social worker wanted me at the hospital in 15 minutes to bring a baby home...that baby was our son, Sunshine!  His adoption finalized on August 1st, 2008 and since August 2nd of that year we knew God wanted us to adopt at least one more time!  There were many times it didn't seem possible, finanacially to undergo adoption again.  But God had a plan, obviously!  Last summer after a terrible situation with infant twin foster girls we knew it was time to start the adoption process and that God would lead us through.  So we started, a month and a half later for some UNKNOWN reason I had the urge to buy a pregnancy test and it was positive...me, the one who wasn't suppose to ever ovulate again!  We figured that the pregnancy would not be maintainable and our 5th precious angel would be going to Jesus' safe arms before we could meet him/her.  We were wrong, our Cupcake would not go to be with her 4 sibilings in heaven, she would join our family via C-section on March 19th of this year.  An now, our Love Bug was born on August 23rd...5 months and 4 days behind our Cupcake!  As you can see in the above picture this Mama couldn't be happier! 

Handsome and I were talking today, while life isn't full of tons of fun at the moment...it is a lot of rather hard work...it is a life we would not trade for anything!  Princess is 5 years and 4 days....Sunshine is 4 days short of 3 months from turning 5.  Cupcake is 28 weeks old and Love Bug is almost 6 weeks old already!  God had a plan for us and even though we couldn't imagine adding to our family RIGHT.NOW, we do pray that God is not finished with our family.  We would love to be blessed with another miracle as we both feel our family is not yet complete.  God may have different plans, but for now I am enjoying the late nights (like tonight when Love Bug wants to smile and have eye contact with Mama) and all the diapers, meals, hours on the breast pump to provide all the milk for both babies, and everything that goes along with being a Mama to 2 preschoolers and 2 babies.  I couldn't do it without my amazing Handsome, and with God's strength and guidance.  His plan is amazing!  You may say we are insane, but in reality we are just doing what we feel God lead us to do.  We are blessed and forever thankful!

Praise the Lord!

Sincerely ~ Our Crew,

Handsome, Mama, Princess, Sunshine, Cupcake & Love Bug

Out of the Mouths of Babes!

So we have been talking with Princess and Sunshine about salvation and what it means to be saved.  We have been reading verses like the Romans road and answering many MANY questions they have about asking Jesus into your heart and the difference between heaven and hell.  Their minds are constantly amazing me in how much they are soaking up these days! 

Well after the normal round of "Jesus Loves Me" while Princess, Sunshine and the other Pumpkins were waiting for me to finish getting their plates loaded up at lunch today my two started talking about heaven and hell.  Princess all of a sudden says, "when I am in hell Jesus will save me if I ask him into my heart."  It was yet another opportunity to explain that if we find ourselves in hell it is too late to ask Jesus to save us.  She asked me if I was going to go to heaven or hell when I died and I proudly told her that because I trust Jesus Christ as my personal Savior that I know there is a home for me in heaven when I die, and that is very exciting!

After a few more minutes my son says, "Mommy, do you think it would be okay if I talk to Daddy more about this at bedtime tonight because I have so many questions and he knows a lot about the Bible without even having to look it up; sometimes Mommy when I ask you, you have to get your Bible and read it before you answer me!"  It is true, Handsome and I are a good team that way!  Except it isn't that I have to look up the verses, it is the references.  But the secret is that I remember the verses and Handsome remembers the references! 

Anyway, it just makes my heart smile to know that they are starting to ask many MANY questions about salvation and we pray that one day in the future our children will ask Jesus into their hearts! 

I am VERY thankful for such a godly husband that does such a good job explaining these very important things to my children!

Family of 5!

 All these pictures are from when Cupcake was 2 weeks old!

Happy 1 Week Birthday Cupcake!

 Last week at this very time I was laying on an operating table as my beautiful Cupcake was being welcomed into the world!  The birth story will come soon, I just have not been able to bring the emotions together to write it yet! 

This week has been one of the most amazing weeks of my life.  I love my Princess and my Sunshine, but there is something about having an instant bond with a baby...the kind of bond that just being in my arms sooths her...just gazing into my eyes calms her...and just simply being enough for her makes her happy!  Now those things came eventually with Princess and Sunshine, but with Cupcake the minute Handsome placed her in my arms that was all there already!  I have shed many tears this week over what an amazing gift it has been to experience pregnancy and now having her here is even more amazing! 

Happy one week birthday Cupcake, Mama and Daddy love you so very much ~ you are our miracle baby!

Letter for Cupcake~

My Precious Cupcake, Mama doesn't really know what is all about to happen that will finally bring you into our world, but she is very excited to finally get to hold you in her arms.  We do not know if today will be your birthday or tomorrow, but we do know there are a great number of wonderful people praying for you to join us safely!  Your big brother and sister are very excited to meet you and I think they even have a gift for you when they do! 

Sweetheart, you are a miracle.  Mommy and Daddy were told many time that you would never be...we believed them!  I think back to August 1st 2010, the day that wonderful test had the two lines and remember how much disbelief I was in!  It was a Sunday morning before church and I couldn't even talk to tell your Daddy....all I could do was show him the test and he looked at it and asked what it meant!  It was so hard to believe that after church Mama went to Walgreens in Grandpas convertable and bought a digital test so I could specifically read 'pregnant'!  The next day I begged the receptionist at the doctor to see me right away and we did get in that day. 

There have been scary points in the last 9 months, but alot of happiness and some disbelief!  Mama even now is having a difficult time sitting here thinking about the fact that God is about to bring you into our world!  We have been taking pictures of Mama's belly almost every Sunday since 15 weeks and you have made my belly VERY big!  That is why the doctors decided to induce Mama two weeks early!  But your Daddy and I think that this is right in time!  I remember the first time I felt your tiny little flutter inside me, and have been in awe lately as you don't really kick but more just 'adjust' yourself while making my belly funny shape in the process!

Sweetheart, you are coming into a family that will love you more than you can ever imagine!  We are a special family that God has pieced together in His own way and in His own time!  I cannot wait to see if you look like Mama or if you look like Daddy.   If you really have as chubby of cheeks as it looks like on the ultrasound!  If you have hair or not and all those other things! 

My precious baby girl, I do not know how long we have left until we get to hold you in our arms....but one thing is for sure....when that does happen we will NEVER let you go.  Sweetest Cupcake....we are excited to welcome you into our world and looking forward to the days and weeks and years ahead with you!

With all my love,
Your Mama


Happy Birthday Cupcake!

Mama Thoughts

 Something has hit me over the past 12 hours that I wasn't ready for.  Something that has brought tears to my eyes several times in that short time!  Last night as we were having Princess and Sunshine say their verse and sing to Cupcake one last time before she is born and then we have bedtime prayers with them I couldn't keep my tears away!  All these thoughts started running through my mind, thoughts that I had not even really considered before then.  You see our children are leaving at noon today with our Pastor and family and will be with them until after Cupcake is born (hopefully sometime tomorrow if the induction goes well!)  So the next time we will all be together we will be a family of fine.  Something we are all very excited about, and I believe Princess and Sunshine are very excited too.  But no one knows how bringing Cupcake into our home will effect our 4 year olds! 

I am sure there will be a transition time where things will be less than lovely with attitudes and behaviors...but I am also sure that big brother and sister will love their baby sister VERY much!  But as a Mama you start thinking about things like 'have I used my time with JUST them well enough' 'have I loved them enough that they know I will still love them even with a baby?' and things of that sort.  They just started creeping into my head!  We have had 'extra' kids around most of their lives through the Patch and also foster care, but all of those children end up going home at some point...they do not stick around!  We are still a very spontaneous family...there are times when at the spur of the moment we decide to run out of the house to get ice cream for fun and with a baby you need to be a little more prepared than that.  So things are going to change.

Anyway, just some thoughts on the day before my induction.  The day my big kids will leave my home with people I fully trust to care for them, but the day that they will take a piece of my heart and a life that will no longer be the same with them only to return to an entirely different situation in a matter of 72ish hours.  So I cry, I cry because I am so happy that we are so blessed.  I cry because I am sad that their lives will change (though in a good way, they may not see it as good at first) and I cry because I am still pregnant and that is what pregnant ladies do! 

But I want Princess and Sunshine to know how very much their Mama and Daddy love them...we love them today, we love them tomorrow, and we love them forever....and bringing Cupcake into our home isn't going to change that! 

In God's Time

A year ago right now my husband and I had just prayerfully committed to going on a missions trip that took place a month ago.  We were also very seriously considering joining the Panama team and moving down there to work in an orphanage.  We went to several meetings, chatted many times with dear friends and were part of some of the planning details. 

Until May of 2010 when all of a sudden I got what I thought was cold feet.  There was this tugging feeling saying, 'you cannot go on the mission trip in February 2011'  and I continued to wrestle with that thought for some time thinking it was just me being scared to go!  One day I mentioned to my Handsome to pray for me was I was battling this and that is when he informed me that he was having the same feeling.  We started praying together and the more we prayed and trusted the more it seemed we should cancel our plans.  We had no idea why and no reason to give when we did decide to cancel our plans, we just knew God was telling us it wasn't going to be okay to go!

Fast forward to now: what we didn't know then is that God was blessing us beyond what we could have imagined with our little Cupcake and after a somewhat risky pregnancy there is no way I was going to be able to go on a mission trip at 8 months pregnant!  Who would have ever guessed that was going to be the reason why!

As I sit here this morning thinking about God's plan and how we have been on pins and needles for so much of our married life waiting for God's path to be open to us it amazes me!  You sometimes wonder, 'why could He just not have shared this information with us so we didn't look so unstable backing out of a mission trip for no reason?' and other things like that.  Well, honestly, if we knew everything we wouldn't need to trust Him for those life details and we might try to make our own plan.  Now obviously in our case we would have still welcomed Cupcake into our lives because we love being parents and have desired more children since Sunshine's adoption was finalized...we just knew our family was not complete.  But in other cases there were times that we would have chosen to go a different route with knowing what was coming, but that doesn't do us any good because God's plan is always the best and even when it is a trial we need to go through you learn from those and lean on God to get you through them.  The tough stuff in life can make you or break you.  Without God and being by Handsome's side I would have never become the person I am today and probably would have stopped a long time ago! 

But now I think of the news we received yesterday, Friday we will be induced and should be meeting our Cupcake!  I know that many are excited for us and there are some that think it isn't the natural way to go and that we should just let God work and she will come when He is ready for her.  But with the troubles that we had in the past with pregnancy and the new issues that popped up over the last few weeks how can we not say this was God's plan all along.  He knows how long Cupcake has been growing in my belly and He knows if she is going to be okay or not.  He also know that with the high blood pressure as of late and the very high fluid level it may not be as safe for her to stick around for another 2-3 weeks.  We are trusting God that He knows what is best.  We are excited to finally get to meet her, and we believe that when it comes to having babies God does give us doctors to help us through that. 

God always has a plan, I have been impatient for the past oh 4 months or so, but His plan is best.  Would we still love to one day go on a mission trip, we sure would!  Would we still love to continue to grow our family?  Of course, but in God's time!  Obviously there isn't much we can do to change His plans...we tried very hard and put a lot of money into tryint to have a biological child several years ago and that wonderful doctor couldn't even 'help' me ovulate and then one month shy of 4 years later all of a sudden we end up expecting on our own!  God's time!  And lets not forget to mention that we desired to turn around in the Fall of 2008 and contract with our amazing adoption agency right after finalizing Sunshine's adoption but for some reason it just couldn't come together.  God opened all the doors and helped us contract this year...just one month before we found out about Cupcake.  Once again I know many people think we should have backed off on the adoption through the pregnancy....but it was God's time.  Our Texas baby may be a year away....or he/she may decide to come in the next few months....we do not know, but God does!  In His Time!

If there is anything the last year has taught me, it is that even when it seems you are doing the right thing and God gives a little tug on your heart that says, 'wait a minute, lets talk about this' there is always a good reason!  Now I just need to work on my patience....but that is going to take a while because I have been trying for years! 

In God's Time!

Frozen Hot Chocolate

We just tried this tonight and it wasn't bad (and I don't really LOVE chocolate!)

Frozen Hot Chocolate

*3 ounces chocolate (I used Hersey's bars!)
*2 teaspoons store bought hot chocolate mix
*1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
*1 1/2 cups milk
*3 cups
*whipped cream, for garnish
*Chocolate shavings, for garnish

Chop the chocolate into small pieces and melt in a small heavy saucepan or in the top of a double boiler over simmering water.  Stir occasionally until melted.  Add the hot chocolate mix and sugar, stirring constantly until blended.

Remove from heat and slowly add 1/2 cup of the milk, stirring until smooth.  Cool to room temperature.

In a blender, place the remaining 1 cup of milk, the chocolate mixture, and the ice.  Blend on high speed until smooth.  Pour into a giant goblet and top with whipped cream and chocolate shavings!

Seriously...a must try!

Sorry

I have been alittle low in the posting lately, partly because I don't know what to post about and partly because when is on my mind Handsome thinks I talk too much about these days.  Well, how is one supposed to NOT think about the fact that a baby is about to be born from my belly and that was NEVER supposed to happen.

There are people upset with us because we are still trying to adopt even in the middle of pregnancy of a miracle baby.  That is fine, we will do what we believe God has lead us to do in His time.  AND, as it turns out, unless something pretty amazing happens we will be having Cupcake shortly and still are not matched.  So the adoption will happen after Cupcake anyway.  Sorry, this has been on my mind for a while.  To me the excitement of looking at welcoming Cupcake into our lives soon (hopefully) and looking at welcoming our Texas baby into our live sometime in the future are both equal.  They will both be blessings God has choosen for our family. 

Cupcake will not be more to us than Princess, Sunshine, or Texas baby.  They all are members of our family that God Himself pieced together in His own way and time!  I could not imagine my life without Princess or Sunshine.  I am sure it will be the same for Cupcake and Texas baby.  Our family is unique but what an amazing story it is!  I do not know how someone could hear our story of how we became a family of four, soon to be five, and then six after that and not see God's amazing grace in the story! 

How many people go through 4 miscarriages to go on to adopt two children 3 months apart in age, then have their young body go into menopause to just when God leads the couple to start the adoption process a third time find out that the body that stopped working 5 years ago had all of a sudden started working and now are close to delivering a baby!  Seriously...AMAZING! 

I am thankful for my amazing husband.
I am thankful that we agree that a family does not need to have the same blood in their veins in order to be a family.
I am thankful that we also agree that a family doesn't mean the 1.5 kids and a dog that is our national average!
I am thankful that we have the children we do have and that he isn't ready to say our family is complete! 
I am thankful for the people in our lives that are not calling us crazy but standing beside us and saying, 'it may not be for us but it is amazing for you!'

God is good....and yes, pregnancy and children are pretty much on my mind 23/7 these days.  I am a mom, I am pregnant, we are looking at adoption again, and I am a daycare provider...pretty much all has to do with children....how could that not be what is on my mind?!?!?

Happy Friday Everyone!

Thankful Thursday ~ 2.24.11

You are probably getting tired of hearing about how amazing my husband is by now.  But really, I do not know how we would have made it through this pregnancy without his amazingness!

He is so caring and loving and protective of myself and our little Cupcake!  We found out yesterday that I am starting to dialate just a little and that I needed to 'chill out' so he is checking up on me and once again has taken over all household responsibilities.  I basically just run my daycare during the day and rest in the evenings.  Though for how often I get up I am seriously considering going to bed right after work and doing the up and down thing until morning!  Haaha!

He is making sure with the melting snow and then freezing ice that I do not walk without a good grip on his arm and making sure I am eating well to provide enough nutrition for Cupcake.  Tonight even though he has been busy every night this week instead of relaxing he will be hanging up the wall decor for the nursery because this pregnant lady cannot dream of bringing a baby home to an 'unfinished' nursery (and my parents are coming this weekend {as long as they can get through the snow} and I would really like to show off the mostly completed nursery to them!

Anyway, I am thankful for the amazing husband that God has blessed me with.  I do not know why I was so fortunate to be the woman to marry this man....but seriously, I don't deserve how amazing he is. 

I love you Handsome...you are the most AMAZING husband and AWESOME daddy anyone could ask for!

People Around

Today I have been thinking a lot about the people around my life.  When we have been through different adoption/foster care trainings we have been told to make a dot (that was me) make a small circle around the dot (immediate family) make a larger circle around that one (close friends, non immediate family) and to start making little circles that interact with each of the other circles.

A person can quickly have a very messy, busy page!  I look at the fact that we have been in 6 churches officially since we have been married (not counting the ones that Handsome just preached in and we met wonderful people there too!) But also friends through family or business or adoption or foster care or the list goes on and on!

As you look at your social network how many friends do you have?  Does that even begin to touch the number of people in your life?  Mine doesn't, I used to have close to 600 friends on there but have since realized I would rather just keep in touch with those that are not 'negactive connections.'  So have cut it down a great deal.

But still, I have 2 parents a married brother, 5 Aunts & Uncles, 12 cousins (7 of whom are married w/17 total children), Elementary & High School Classmates, church friends from back in the day, College friends, Opera House friends, friends of the family...etc etc etc.  The list could go on and on.

So where is this going?  Well, I have been thinking about how terrible it is that we do not connect with people more...with all the latest and greatest technology it should be easy to keep in touch with as many people as you would like.  I look at pictures of family and friends often and rarely comment.  (Though lately it has been in the middle of the night when my mind is not exactly clear so who knows what the comment would say!)  BUT, still, why should we go so long in between 'coversations' with people.  I am thinking specifically of my cousins and their famlies right now....I have a picture in my 5 picture rom on FB of my cousins on my Dad's side and myself at our Grandpa's gravesite.  I look at it every day and wonder how they are all doing, yet I do not communicate with them often!  Granted we range in age alot!  My oldest cousin is probably around 45 and my youngest is 22 and with me being 28 there is a pretty good difference! 

BUT, again, that shouldn't stop me from interacting with them! 

I am going to try harder to stay in touch with family and friends!  (Not my smartest time to decide this with a new baby coming soon and possible adoption this summer!)  But I will try!

34/36 Weeks!

 14 weeks!

 15 weeks!

 16 weeks!

 17 weeks!

 18 weeks!

 20 weeks!

 22 weeks!

 23 weeks!

 24 weeks!

 25 weeks!

 28 weeks!

 29 weeks!

 30 weeks!

 32 weeks!

33 weeks!

The weeks until we get to meet Cupcake are getting less and less!  What an amazing thought to have!  The weeks listed under the pictures coordinate with our April 2nd due date, but would could be 2 weeks farther along than that so that is why the post title says '34/36 weeks!'  We are trying to be patient in waiting for her arrival, but it is getting more and more difficult!  Just cannot wait to see our chubby little Cupcake!

Little Builder

My Sunshine has been working very hard at figuring out how to build stable structures with his Lincoln.Logs for over a month now!  This is by far not the most impressive piece he has built, but the one Mama finally woke up and took a picture of!  As you can see he is very proud of himself for accomplishing what he does accomplish!  One time he had a goal of using as many of the logs as he could in his building and he used most of them, another time he tried to build what he saw on the box and did a great job!  So proud of my little Sunshine!

Hugs

Some people think hugs are just something little...I think a hug is a huge encouragment and a way to share your love (whatever love it may be) with someone.  You can tell someone you are concerned, you understand, you love them, you hurt for them, you celebrate with them, and many other things through a simple hug.  Nothing has to be said, but a hug can say it all!

Our Pastor gives me a hug often and asks, "how are you doing/feeling"...do you know that really says something to me!?!?

A 'almost' family member that has been around our family since my dad was a little boy is this tiny little lady but she gives the most amazing hugs!  Whenever we get 'home' and go to church in LB I always look forward to seeing Judy and getting caught up in the strong grip of her hugs!  It amazes me how strong she is! 

I get hugs from my little Pumpkins often, just tonight two sisters were going out the door and I asked if I could have a hug and before I knew it I was getting hugs from them and another little boy! 

A friend of mine who has a 6 week old baby while she was still pregnant would hug me and wiggle and joke about how our babies were playing together! 

My husband just last weekend, I was sitting on our bed crying because of some hurt that was caused by another person and while he didn't know what to say...Handsome came beside me and held me in a tight hug and let me cry.  Sometimes you don't need words, you just need a hug!

Princess has taken to hugging my belly so Cupcake doesn't get left out!

The list can go on and on about what a hug can do.  I will never forget some peoples hugs...my Grandma A used to pat me on the back every time she hugged me.  My Grandpa D used to squeeze very tight while saying 'bye-bye now'at the same time.  I will never forget how my little Pumpkin R squeezes my neck so hard when he wakes up I almost think I need to make a chiropractor appointment!  Or Judy's hug...or how my cousin C hugged me on my wedding day and whispered 'you look beautiful'...I don't remember ever getting a hug from him before! 

Hugs are amazing...and while I do not suggest just running up to random strangers and giving them a hug to boost their day, I do suggest maybe adding a hug here and there to friends and family that you love 'just because!' 

Yes, I am thankful for HUGS!

Our Cupcake!

 We were able to have another look at Cupcake on Valentines day to see if she was still measuring ahead...she was!  She is beautiful!  We cannot wait to meet her!

 The ultrasound tech. said she could see hair on her head and that she is 'plump!'  I can clearly see she has chubby cheeks!  So basically we could have a baby any time or we could have another month left to go!  We are on pins and needles waiting to meet her!

Valentines Weekend pt 2

 We closed out the weekend playing Hi Ho Cherry-O and Candy Land!  Our kids thought it was a beautiful way to do it, though the getting ready for bed when we were done wasn't the easiest of nights...but we had fun while it lastest!

 Concentrate!

Cannot wait to see if we are a family of FIVE or SIX for Valentines 2012!

Valentines Weekend

 Pottery 2 Paint ~ Princess making a pizza plate!

 Sunshine making a piggy bank!

 Hard work on everyone's part!

 She put red 'polk-E-dots' on top for pepperoni!

 Sunshine thought his piggie needed glasses, so Handsome put some on...would have been a really cute pig without them!

 Psalm 119:105 is their very first Sunday School memory verse! 

Every Valentines weekend for the last 3 or maybe even 4 years we have had a 'family weekend.'  We usually take the Friday before V-day off and get a hotel for two nights so we can swim and just have a fun family day!  This year with me being SO pregnant I didn't want to sleep in a bed other than my own and really didn't feel like swimming so we just spent Saturday together as a family.  We went to the local pottery store and the kids each picked a project...Daddy broke the rules by helping Sunshine way MORE than he was supposed to, but the kids had fun any way!  We were given OliveGarden giftcards for Christmas so we used them for our lunch date and then we did a little shopping!  It was a fun LONG day (we actually closed down the mall!) 

While we are not huge on traditions, our kids are starting to remember certain things and that is fun to me!  Valentines family weekend, I believe, will be sticking around for years to come!